Anonymous wrote:My income wasn’t very high - 56,000 as an academic. I liked my job, was good at it, and had spent a lot of years getting my PhD. I left 12 years ago, stepping back slowly and then eventually leaving the workforce entirely. I have regrets about not picking a higher paying profession and one that didn’t take so much schooling to be qualified to do. If I could go back, I would be a speech pathologist or an OT, or some other profession that has flexibility but only requires a Masters.

But, I also don’t regret my choice. It has worked out for me because DH is in a high paying profession (big law) and his income ceiling was always much higher than mine. He is also a wonderful person whom I love very much. We are all far richer because he has leaned in and I have leaned out. It works because we are really a team and he knows that his ability to work the way he does is built on the fact that I am taking care of basically everything else in our lives. It also allowed us to have three kids. That would have been harder if I kept working.


We met at an Ivy and I certainly didn’t expect to be a SAHM, but sometimes that solution is best for the family unit as a whole. Sometimes I hate the tedium, but I also hated some of the tedium of working.

This is my situation 100%. I went to a selective college, and never envisioned this, but we’re a team and it’s made our family so successful as a whole.

I was an academic too and my story is pretty similar to the pp academic. I wish I could have continued in the field I trained for but that profession no longer exists. So there wasn't much money on my end and spouse's income went up making me geographically fixed plus some other big life events all combined to make it the right decision. Other issues with one of my kids continue to make it the right decision. I have sadness about my lack of career, but not regret that I made a bad choice.

$60k. No regrets. Went back to work when my kid was in high school.

$215K over 20 years ago. No regrets.

20+ years ago, law partner, $250 base, plus equity bonus. At the time DH made less than I did (but now makes many multiples of that), so we walked away from the higher of our two salaries.

Yes, we are happy with our decision financially, and we would not change a thing. It's been a great run. Sure, we'd have a lot more money if I had kept working, but I cannot guarantee we'd have a happier life, and we love our life. We don't need more money.

And personally, I am a lot more fulfilled with the way I have been able to use my time and talents for others than I was when practicing law. I liked being a lawyer, but I love what I have have been able to do since resigning, and frankly it's better for world.

Around $75k in the early 2000’s, but DH’s salary has increased to make up for my lost income and our kids and aging parents have benefited from my being SAH. I thought I would be bored, but I’m really not. I stay busy, just not working for an employer.

Why are you asking? Salary was low as a professional with a masters and long hours. No regrets. If I had to do it over, I would not have struggled with the decision or wasted time looking for day care, which fell through and forced me to stay home.

$270k 10 years ago (biglaw). No regrets.

My income wasn’t very high - 56,000 as an academic. I liked my job, was good at it, and had spent a lot of years getting my PhD. I left 12 years ago, stepping back slowly and then eventually leaving the workforce entirely. I have regrets about not picking a higher paying profession and one that didn’t take so much schooling to be qualified to do. If I could go back, I would be a speech pathologist or an OT, or some other profession that has flexibility but only requires a Masters.

But, I also don’t regret my choice. It has worked out for me because DH is in a high paying profession (big law) and his income ceiling was always much higher than mine. He is also a wonderful person whom I love very much. We are all far richer because he has leaned in and I have leaned out. It works because we are really a team and he knows that his ability to work the way he does is built on the fact that I am taking care of basically everything else in our lives. It also allowed us to have three kids. That would have been harder if I kept working.


We met at an Ivy and I certainly didn’t expect to be a SAHM, but sometimes that solution is best for the family unit as a whole. Sometimes I hate the tedium, but I also hated some of the tedium of working.

I peaked like my second year at 85k. It was some weekend bonus program as a bedside nurse where they paid me for 4 nights of work with only working 3 nights. After the GFC, the program was eliminated so I was back to like 70k or so for straight time. I quit in 2015. After having kids, I had logistical difficulties returning to nightshift and found a remote job during the day in a different field once I was ready to return in 2021. Of course I started from scratch and the pay was crap. I am due a raise to 65k for part time work so finally getting somewhere after several years. Undecided if it was worth it. I don't know what else I could have done other than marrying someone else with a more normal work schedule or just not having kids. I am a grass is greener type, at the time I couldn't wait to quit my job as a nurse, but then being a SAHM wasn't what I expected so I was happy to get back into the workforce. For me, a little of both is the best balance I guess.

Anonymous wrote:I peaked at $180k, downshifted to $125k in hopes less responsibility and stress would be the solution (it wasn’t), then stayed at home the past 15 years. Zero regrets. The unfortunate truth that makes my feminist heart hurt is that my DH’s career was able to thrive and more than made up my income in a couple years and the kids were way better off. And our marriage and household thrived. And now my parents will benefit.
I would absolutely do it again and advise it to anyone for quality of life, but it also worked because 1) no surprises in the marriage and he’s still by favorite person 2) his career had that much potential to grow.

same except $350k part-time (partner big law) 15 years ago. And have a now 14 year old bonus baby. Could not have planned it better.

42k back in 2007.

I peaked at $180k, downshifted to $125k in hopes less responsibility and stress would be the solution (it wasn’t), then stayed at home the past 15 years. Zero regrets. The unfortunate truth that makes my feminist heart hurt is that my DH’s career was able to thrive and more than made up my income in a couple years and the kids were way better off. And our marriage and household thrived. And now my parents will benefit.
I would absolutely do it again and advise it to anyone for quality of life, but it also worked because 1) no surprises in the marriage and he’s still by favorite person 2) his career had that much potential to grow.

Following

For those who left careers to be an SAHM -

What salary / comp did you walk away from?

Are you happy with your decision financially? Would you do it again with what you know now?