I have the same issue. A variant is when my DS has good intentions and says he will eat dinner at home, but then eats lunch at 3 or 4 and isn't hungry at 6 or 7.

I have been meaning to post for some ideas of things i can prepare/cook and can sit in refrigerator for my kids to heat and eat when they want. Something more than just fast food type basics like burritos. I think I will do post something today.

"Hey, Mom, I won't be home for dinner tonight. I'm going out with Ken and Barbie."
"Gotcha, have a good time. But from now on could you let me know by noon what you're doing for dinner that day? I don't mind cooking for both of us, but if it's just me, I might not bother."

^ this. More like housemates. And they're use to that in college. Different shelves in the refrigerator might be for certain grocery items they've bought.

I don't "feed the family". I let our adult children know, if they should go to the grocery store and buy whatever it is they want to have available -- give me the receipt, I'll reimburse them. They feed themselves. They cook, or whatever. I'm not worrying about it. If they are present and I'm fixing something, I'll ask if they'd like to sit down with us, I'll fix extra. But it has to be -right then. Generally though, I'm not worrying one bit about what they are going to eat.

Tell them to let you know by a certain time if they will be home for dinner. If you don’t hear from them, they are on their own. They won’t starve, I promise.

It's so annoying to have to parse someone's bad writing. Do you mean to say that you've become a short-order cook at a moment's notice for a crowd of young adults? I wouldn't do that. I would only cook if they give me ample notice and if they are appreciative.

Grow a backbone.

Yes OP I have the exact same issue and it is frustrating.

Its reasonable and good manners to expect/give notice. Its your job to teach this OP.

I text my son in the afternoon if he will be eating at home or not, and if any friends will be joining us.

DD is still home on break. I make enough for her and if she isn't home it becomes lunch for the next day

Anonymous wrote:She eats out with friends a lot . . . I've learned to ask her about her plans before I make mine.

+ 1. My son is out so often; just wish I knew whether he’s coming or going with a bit more notice.

We have two in college.

They figure it out or ask if they need us to do anything.

Anonymous wrote:Is driving me crazy, like I get zero notice and people are eating here, or not even though I said to tell me. Does anyone else have that issue? I am so over cooking and would not normally have dinner.

Then don't cook. They are adults not babies they can make their own dinners and go grocery shopping too!

She eats out with friends a lot . . . I've learned to ask her about her plans before I make mine.

Is driving me crazy, like I get zero notice and people are eating here, or not even though I said to tell me. Does anyone else have that issue? I am so over cooking and would not normally have dinner.