I can’t read it. I’m not paying to read something I may or may not be interested in.
Maybe the OP works for the WSJ subscription dept.

Anonymous wrote:What I got from that is that social media caused all the toxicity. Without Instagram she would have no idea who was hanging with who and that she wasn't invited. And basically all the anxiety I have with other women also stems from some variation of this: "there they are, all hanging out and didn't invite me. What did I do wrong?"
I hate it so much. Currently dreading logging onto Facebook to post family pictures my mother keep hounding me about because I know I'll see something like this.

That certainly makes it easier to find out. But even in the old days, it would usually get back to someone that a gathering was planned or took place without them. The social dynamics of a large group based on loose connections can be weird, and not being invited doesn't always mean you did something wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 10 years, she'll be writing about how her husband's middle-aged transformation into a raging, alcoholic piece of shit left her realizing she should have nurtured her village. There's nothing special about a stuck-up new mom who takes aim at fellow moms to feel better than them only to regret it as her marriage degrades over time and her children get older and much more complex.

Did you read it? They pushed her out. She'll find another village when her DCs are school-aged.

Some of it seemed like just a natural fade out but the detail that made me feel bad for her was when she invited them to her daughter's birthday party and they made plans to hang out with each other (without her) at the party she hosted. That does seem cold and also would have hurt my feelings.

What I got from that is that social media caused all the toxicity. Without Instagram she would have no idea who was hanging with who and that she wasn't invited. And basically all the anxiety I have with other women also stems from some variation of this: "there they are, all hanging out and didn't invite me. What did I do wrong?"
I hate it so much. Currently dreading logging onto Facebook to post family pictures my mother keep hounding me about because I know I'll see something like this.

Anonymous wrote:Here is the article without the paywall:
https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/breaking-up-with-my-toxic-mom-group/ar-AA1Tp2K5

The rumors I am hearing is that the reason she was given the slow fade is because she is MAGA. But that group of friends is constantly posting their social lives online- they all seem obnoxious and toxic to me.

No, that's a false rumor being pushed on Reddit. I'm not invested in Ashley Tisdale but she's not MAGA. She posted something after Charlie Kirk's shooting that was basically "assassination is bad, let's not solve problems with guns" and in no way endorsed Kirk and some of the fringe lefties online who love nothing more than enforcing purity tests in order to declare people secretly MAGA did what they do.

Also I think that happened after she left her friend group. I don't think the falling out had anything to do with that.

They're posting their lives online, which is the first red flag that they're crazy, OP. Why on earth would you follow such people??

Here is the article without the paywall:
https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/breaking-up-with-my-toxic-mom-group/ar-AA1Tp2K5

The rumors I am hearing is that the reason she was given the slow fade is because she is MAGA. But that group of friends is constantly posting their social lives online- they all seem obnoxious and toxic to me.

I thought Mel Robbin’s “Let Them” had a good take on this. Most likely, if people are excluding you it’s because it’s logistically easier for them to make plans together for some reason. Either they live closer together or they have something in their schedule where they regularly bump into each other. It almost certainly isn’t personal. Most friendships are just based on seeing people a lot. I fell out of years long friendships when my kids started driving and I no longer needed to communicate with people regularly to arrange carpools. It sounds stupid, but when you carpool, you know when someone is sick or needs surgery or goes on vacation or has a death in the family. And when we weren’t hauling each other’s kids around, we stopped communicating like that. It wasn’t anything personal. It was just that it required more effort, and we tried for a bit, but eventually we all stopped putting it in.

Anonymous wrote:In 10 years, she'll be writing about how her husband's middle-aged transformation into a raging, alcoholic piece of shit left her realizing she should have nurtured her village. There's nothing special about a stuck-up new mom who takes aim at fellow moms to feel better than them only to regret it as her marriage degrades over time and her children get older and much more complex.

Did you read it? They pushed her out. She'll find another village when her DCs are school-aged.

Anonymous wrote:Paywall…

So subscribe.

In 10 years, she'll be writing about how her husband's middle-aged transformation into a raging, alcoholic piece of shit left her realizing she should have nurtured her village. There's nothing special about a stuck-up new mom who takes aim at fellow moms to feel better than them only to regret it as her marriage degrades over time and her children get older and much more complex.

I eventually broke off from the larger group, although I kept on a couple of people as "forever friends." Once DCs were in preschool, things just got unruly . . . people getting weird and competitive about private K admissions, others moving out of the city. I never felt invested enough to care about the politics of it. It was just nice to have people to hang out with to keep the day-to-day tedium of raising small children from making me feel isolated.

Paywall…

I have zero trouble believing that the kind of middle-aged parents who post their social events on instagram are exclusive and dramatic.

Here's the essay: https://www.thecut.com/article/ashley-tisdale-french-mom-group-mean-girls-parenting.html

Setting aside the celebrity tea here (the friend group in question apparently involved a lot of famous women and it seems like she's inviting drama to be public about it as a result), I found this very thought provoking. I can see it from both sides -- I could see a situation where the behavior she describes is just people kind of naturally sorting into subgroups and was not intentional excluding. On the other hand, I've been unintentionally excluded before and even when you know it's not malicious, it still feels bad. I feel like a big part of the problem is conceiving of yourselves as a group in the first place, and have found it's a lot easier to just think of myself in just a series of 1:1 friendships. Some people I might be close to and hang out with more, and other people perhaps I don't know that well or maybe don't even get along with and we don't hang out. I just try not even to think of myself as being part of a group, even if I might sometimes hang out with multiple people at once. If there is no group, I can never be left out of it.

Curious how other people think of this.