Anonymous wrote:Maybe their goal is the man.

This is a lot of women, still.

OP that was probably the case in the past. However it's no longer the case. Look at the age of first marriage and kids for women today. Women have kids and get married late into their 30s because they smartly chaos to prioritize their careers and chose not to rush into relationships with just "any man" for the sake of not being single. Women are much more comfortable being single today. I attended a wedding last week and there were a lot of single women in their 30s/40s.

In the United States it's actually not so bad. Women do pursue their dreams regardless of what their man wants.

In Africa it's a tragedy. I went to a HS specialized in science. The top 5 students were women. Guess what? All of them ended up making some kind of tragic sacrifices (dropping out of prestigious programs, marriage etc) to "appease" a man or his family. Their own families most likely discourage them from pursuing long studies, pressured them to marry asap etc. thank God it's changing though. And the through is most guys they are making sacrifices for are not even worth it. Most men today can't claim to have better jobs or better salaries than women.

This will never happen to my daughter. She will put herself front and center.

Anonymous wrote:Relationships comprise the majority of our human lives. It stands to reason they are a preoccupation for both men and women. Every person is different and it doesn't how brilliant they are. We all have physical and emotional needs and our intimate relationships fill those purposes. They are just as important as a career and you can't tell a woman who has full autonomy what to do. If she gets married and has a family, that becomes most women's priorities. That's just human nature and biology. A breakdown in that relationship is also a part of life. Point is, it's none of our business and we have to allow our children and people in general to live their lives.

Yeah okay. It's not even a debate that a women are the ones expected to make sacrifices for job, career,, location, etc. who takes the kids to the doctors? Who meet their teachers? Don't give me the case of 2 or 3 men who are equal partners and good for them. Most men are not.

Anonymous wrote:That's what we're conditioned to do from the time we're little girls.
If

This. We're indoctrinated with it.

Literally every Disney princess movie: young woman abandons her world, voice, or autonomy to emotionally stabilize a man with unresolved issues.

Literally every YA series (like Twilight): girl erases her identity, safety, and future to emotionally regulate a damaged, mysterious boy.

Literally every rom-com: independent woman with a great life abandons it to emotionally rehabilitate a man who never left his hometown.

Literally the Bible: women are told to submit, serve, forgive endlessly, and make the marriage work no matter what. Men are told they’re in charge.

It's biology, ffs.

2026 can be the year of decentering men!

Good riddance to the pick mes and male centred women.

[quote=Anonymous]I have seen very attractive, very successful women make their man the center of everything when they are dating or even in a relationship. Some women give up successful careers, leave behind great jobs etc not because it's the best choice but because not making that sacrifice (in their mind) may jeopardize their relationship.

[b]What wrong with being single when the alternative is giving up so much of your personal goals?[/b]

Don't call us men for being selfish for not making similar sacrifices. You are not being forced. You can say no. If the relationship ends or never materializes because of it then be it.

My daughter is extremely smart. Her lowers grade is a 98%. She is in 10th grade and wants to be an aerospace engineering major. I won't lie my fear is that one day she meets a boy she is crazy over and gives up a lot job grad school etc just because that's what that man wants. If she ever asks me any advice about giving up anything for a man, my answer will be a resounding NO. [/quote]

because their (our?) most important personal goal is to be with a man. specifically, a man other women also want to be with. all the other interests and goals are below that, no matter how seemingly real. the only exception are or could be children. when a woman prioritizes other thing it's because the man is not the one she is crazy about.

Not everyone wants the career or the great job. Some just wnat to be a wife and a mom. They are just working the job until they get what they really want. They aren't giving up to center the man, they are giving it up because they never wanted a career and wanted their role in life to be wife and mom.

The women I know who thrive on being wife / mom also have traditional gender role views where they want a man who looks after them financially and who supports them in life and in being a wife / mom, and who protects them and is their rock.

That is the life they want. They are doing the role they want and have a man who is also in the role they want.

Relationships comprise the majority of our human lives. It stands to reason they are a preoccupation for both men and women. Every person is different and it doesn't how brilliant they are. We all have physical and emotional needs and our intimate relationships fill those purposes. They are just as important as a career and you can't tell a woman who has full autonomy what to do. If she gets married and has a family, that becomes most women's priorities. That's just human nature and biology. A breakdown in that relationship is also a part of life. Point is, it's none of our business and we have to allow our children and people in general to live their lives.

Maybe their goal is the man.

That's what we're conditioned to do from the time we're little girls.
If

I only just recently realized that after putting DH first for 30 years I've lost myself. Honestly I wish I had not married and lived my own life. Its a lot of regret. If there are any women out there questioning getting married maybe this post will help them.

It’s a partnership. She should pick a man who gives 75%. And she should give 75%, ie both should do “more than half.” That’s how a successful partners work.

I have seen very attractive, very successful women make their man the center of everything when they are dating or even in a relationship. Some women give up successful careers, leave behind great jobs etc not because it's the best choice but because not making that sacrifice (in their mind) may jeopardize their relationship.

What wrong with being single when the alternative is giving up so much of your personal goals?

Don't call us men for being selfish for not making similar sacrifices. You are not being forced. You can say no. If the relationship ends or never materializes because of it then be it.

My daughter is extremely smart. Her lowers grade is a 98%. She is in 10th grade and wants to be an aerospace engineering major. I won't lie my fear is that one day she meets a boy she is crazy over and gives up a lot job grad school etc just because that's what that man wants. If she ever asks me any advice about giving up anything for a man, my answer will be a resounding NO.