This is not that hard. Alternate between cruise and non-cruise or do a hybrid trip with some of each. If adults truly value spending vacation time together, they can certainly figure this out. Or agree to disagree and vacation separately.

Anonymous wrote:DH and I were always anti-cruise and anti-all inclusive until we had kids. I know there are some kids who eat caviar, watch Meet the Press and love to go to art museums, but that’s not my kids. We’re empty nesters now and talking about taking trips on our own, which will be more of what I have in mind for enjoyment. I don’t regret going to Atlantis or the Lindblad cruise with the kids because they were great memories for us.

My father always looked down his nose at cruises and refused to go on one while my mother was alive. Now that she’s gone and he’s socializing with people who go on cruises regularly, he’s been hinting at being interested in going on one. While I love him dearly, there’s no way in hell I’ll take him on a cruise when he denied my mother the opportunity to go on one.

I hate the snobbery of the anti-cruise/anti-all inclusive people.

Would your mom want you to punish your dad?

DH and I were always anti-cruise and anti-all inclusive until we had kids. I know there are some kids who eat caviar, watch Meet the Press and love to go to art museums, but that’s not my kids. We’re empty nesters now and talking about taking trips on our own, which will be more of what I have in mind for enjoyment. I don’t regret going to Atlantis or the Lindblad cruise with the kids because they were great memories for us.

My father always looked down his nose at cruises and refused to go on one while my mother was alive. Now that she’s gone and he’s socializing with people who go on cruises regularly, he’s been hinting at being interested in going on one. While I love him dearly, there’s no way in hell I’ll take him on a cruise when he denied my mother the opportunity to go on one.

I hate the snobbery of the anti-cruise/anti-all inclusive people.

I have zero desire for a party boat cruise but can see the appeal for other kinds. We did a Disney Cruise when my kid was in pre-k, and the grandparents came along. Each group could be as active as they wanted to be but also get away. I would like to do an Alaskan or Scandinavian cruise (for the scenery) and wouldn’t mind a quiet riverboat cruise in Europe. One of the appeals is no continual moving around packing/repacking if you are trying to see several cities, the ability to say eff it and just stay on the ship if you’re not feeling well or just not feeling it, and the ability to mingle with other people if you’re getting a bit tired of your travel mates and want to expand the circle a little. Also, like the PP I do not understand the appeal of the Obx beach rental, especially Every Single Summer.

Some of you seem to make your personality “we don’t do Disney or cruises”. That doesn’t make you as interesting as you think it does.

I am the anti-cruise, anti-all inclusive in my family while DH LOVES them. I don't like being confined to just a resort/ship. I don't like having to eat at the same place(s) every single day. I prefer vacations where you explore, go to museums, go to different restaurants, see many sites, on my own schedule.

I have to suck it up some times and just go. We got back from a 3 generation all inclusive vacation, I hated it, but kept it to myself and went with the flow. Otherwise I don't know how you make it work.

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends what they like about cruising. If they like the kids clubs and ability for everyone to eat different food, that's probably the hardest to replicate. Vacations with small kids can be really tiring even if they're easy going kids. There are some great all inclusives that have kid clubs, but they're really no different than cruises.

If they just like the ability to see different islands and lay by the pool, that's easy to replicate.

This

I like nicer cruises when I'm with family with different energy levels, interests and dietary preferences.

On a more upscale cruise right now with three generations. Some of the family have health conditions and are low energy, so are sleeping, eating and sitting around. Some of the family are active, but older, so are doing some on board activities, enjoying time with family, and spending time reading. Some of the family enjoys relaxing and working out, but no activities. And the only tween is loving the kids club. As the person who is "in charge" this would have been impossible anywhere else and I would be exhausted trying to meet everyone's needs.

If I was with family members who travel like I do and wanted to take an interesting vacation, we'd do something completely different.

I'm also pretty sure I'd hate a week at a house on the Outer Banks (too much work and it'd feel like the DC suburbs with sand) or even a beach resort vacation unless it was at an all inclusive with various activities (too boring).

OP it’s often hard for multi family groups to enjoy any vacation together. Setting aside all the dysfunction that goes with extended families you still have a big variation in personalities, budgets, and preferences for vacations. We’ve done these trips and some have been enjoyable but they are trips not vacations! We’ve done extended family trips when we were not planning on doing a real vacation.

Also keep in mind that even if everyone wants to go on a cruise or resigns themselves to a cruise , there are very different options. A Viking river European cruise is very different from a Caribbean or Mexican port cruise. The boomers and some GenX in DH’s family love the cheap all you can eat cruises. SIL loves the European river cruises because she wants to check the boxes in seeing countries in Europe but knows nothing about them and doesn’t want to learn anything.

Cruises do not work for people who experience or dread motion sickness, people afraid of the ocean, or germ phobes. They also do not work for people who really value having a good vacation or who like to spend more time at a destination.

Anonymous wrote:Or should they just reconcile themselves to separate vacations?

It depends on what the non-cruise family likes to do and why the cruise family likes cruises.

Depends on the sort or cruise family. I have older relatives who love the Viking-style, adults only, highly curated semi-adventure cruises. They went to something like 16 countries last year. I don’t think theres an OBX beach house vacation they’d truly enjoy (but might tolerate for grandkids) On the other hand they might do one of the Asia or Africa-based Club Med properties if they *had* to.

A Caribbean-style cruise family should have may more options in the all-inclusive island vacations.

I am a not cruise person who went on a cruise with all the ILs (MIL, FIL, several SILs and BILs and all the nieces and nephews). I was not looking forward to it because it was a cruise and because of all the ILs.

Turned out to be great! A cruise gave us all space to do stuff together, and to find space to do stuff separately when any one person or family or sub-group wanted to do something separately. Gave those with little kids the option to use the kids clubs and have an adult vacation, and those who wanted to keep kids close to do so.

Would I do it again as a vacation for our own nuclear family? No. But I wouldn't hesitate to do it again for any group of people

Yes. At Atlantis or somewhere like that.

There is a thread about cruising where people are saying “I would never go on a cruise because they are (insert their stereotype, which usually involves feeling superior to other people)”. I wouldn’t want to go on vacation with someone that judgmental.

But as someone who enjoyed a cruise but has enjoyed other types of vacation more, I think there are lots of nice options that don’t involve sorting people into cruise people and other people.

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends what they like about cruising. If they like the kids clubs and ability for everyone to eat different food, that's probably the hardest to replicate. Vacations with small kids can be really tiring even if they're easy going kids. There are some great all inclusives that have kid clubs, but they're really no different than cruises.

If they just like the ability to see different islands and lay by the pool, that's easy to replicate.

Thanks. My sense is that it’s the food and excursions. The kids are all young adults now (youngest turn 20 soon).

I think it depends what they like about cruising. If they like the kids clubs and ability for everyone to eat different food, that's probably the hardest to replicate. Vacations with small kids can be really tiring even if they're easy going kids. There are some great all inclusives that have kid clubs, but they're really no different than cruises.

If they just like the ability to see different islands and lay by the pool, that's easy to replicate.

Or should they just reconcile themselves to separate vacations?