Anonymous wrote:Could you say that you really appreciate that they take on the task of hosting, and you want to do your part, so this is your contribution?

My SIL did something similar when DH and I were doing a lot of elder care. She said she was incredibly grateful that her loved one was in such good hands and she wanted to relieve us of another burden, by taking on this responsibility, so that we still had time for our kids and ourselves.

This. OP, absolutely have your DH make this happen.

My ILs’ house smells like cat pee and they are hoarders — it’s too far gone. Save yourself!!

Once a year cleaning is a drop in the bucket. If your in laws don’t seemed to be bothered by the mess/dirt/dog hair, their standards are on a different level than yours. I would stay at the hotel.

Could you say that you really appreciate that they take on the task of hosting, and you want to do your part, so this is your contribution?

My SIL did something similar when DH and I were doing a lot of elder care. She said she was incredibly grateful that her loved one was in such good hands and she wanted to relieve us of another burden, by taking on this responsibility, so that we still had time for our kids and ourselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only way I can think of would be to gift it on like an annual basis. A one-off would be interpreted as an insult, yes.

I'd be happy to gift on an annual basis. That said, are you imagining a way to phrase it that makes the annual offer less offensive?

I mean, who wouldn’t want housecleaning on a regular schedule? I think it’s a fine gift and wouldn’t overthink it.

There are plenty of people who don’t want strangers in their homes.

OP- is there also clutter? Because if so then the house won’t get very clean.

No clutter just tumbleweeds of dog hair

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you can’t. 30 minutes to a hotel isn’t a big deal. Do that or deal with it.

Also, calling it a “one hour round trip” to the hotel really undermines your credibility. Nobody describes a hotel in terms of a round trip. You’re just being dramatic.

We have a baby so my husband would have to do the round trip if he wanted to go back to the house to hang out with friends or family.

I would have DH tell them that you guys got a deep clean and it is a really wonderful experience, and therefore you want the to have that experience.

A hotel 30 minutes away isn’t the end of the world, though.

Anonymous wrote:No, you can’t. 30 minutes to a hotel isn’t a big deal. Do that or deal with it.

Also, calling it a “one hour round trip” to the hotel really undermines your credibility. Nobody describes a hotel in terms of a round trip. You’re just being dramatic.

No, you can’t. 30 minutes to a hotel isn’t a big deal. Do that or deal with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only way I can think of would be to gift it on like an annual basis. A one-off would be interpreted as an insult, yes.

I'd be happy to gift on an annual basis. That said, are you imagining a way to phrase it that makes the annual offer less offensive?

I mean, who wouldn’t want housecleaning on a regular schedule? I think it’s a fine gift and wouldn’t overthink it.

Even if part of me wanted it...I would definitely feel like I was being told my house was (way,) below DILs standards. Focusing on the allergies might help

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only way I can think of would be to gift it on like an annual basis. A one-off would be interpreted as an insult, yes.

I'd be happy to gift on an annual basis. That said, are you imagining a way to phrase it that makes the annual offer less offensive?

I mean, who wouldn’t want housecleaning on a regular schedule? I think it’s a fine gift and wouldn’t overthink it.

There are plenty of people who don’t want strangers in their homes.

OP- is there also clutter? Because if so then the house won’t get very clean.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only way I can think of would be to gift it on like an annual basis. A one-off would be interpreted as an insult, yes.

I'd be happy to gift on an annual basis. That said, are you imagining a way to phrase it that makes the annual offer less offensive?

I mean, who wouldn’t want housecleaning on a regular schedule? I think it’s a fine gift and wouldn’t overthink it.

I wouldnt phrase it as a gift. I would just say you have strong allergic reactions and could you pay for a cleaning each year before coming so that your allergies wouldnt flare up. Act like you are the one that is off and are doing it for yourself.

Anonymous wrote:The only way I can think of would be to gift it on like an annual basis. A one-off would be interpreted as an insult, yes.

I'd be happy to gift on an annual basis. That said, are you imagining a way to phrase it that makes the annual offer less offensive?

The only way I can think of would be to gift it on like an annual basis. A one-off would be interpreted as an insult, yes.

Long story short - my inlaws house is filthy. Whether they don't deep clean or their dog is the issue (but I suspect the floor hasn't been mopped ever and the banister has the grime to prove it).

My allergies go wild at their house. I don't know that I deep clean would help, but I'd like to try given the nearest hotel is a 1 hour round trip away.

If I had my husband say - hey Mom, as a thank you for letting us stay we'd love to pay for a deep clean of the house to help you prepare.

Is even offering offensive?