Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:See if you can start to convince them to buy tickets for events like cirque du soliel, a family membership to the aquarium, a ballet class.

Start planting the ideas earlier next year “oh Larla loved our trip to the aquarium, did you know it’s super expensive nowadays? I wish we could go more often. I should look into the membership.”

That is way too passive. Just be direct.

Op said that they pleaded with them to be reasonable, sounds like they already did direct. If the relatives think it’s their own idea then they’ll be more likely to do it.

Oh, sister, I hear you. My MIL has gone overboard since day 1. One year I piled up all the gifts just so DH could see the largesse. It was easily over $1000 worth. For a 3 year old. When her gifts trumped Santa’s or ours, it really aggravated us because she 100% wanted to give the “best” gifts. It has been such a source of conflict with MIL, and DH has tried for years now to curb her overindulging our DD.

But, MIL is a narcissist who does what she wants (literally said to my DD, “I know your parents don’t want me to spend this much, but I do what I want to do”).

All of this is to say, you are not alone in this problem!

Anonymous wrote:See if you can start to convince them to buy tickets for events like cirque du soliel, a family membership to the aquarium, a ballet class.

Start planting the ideas earlier next year “oh Larla loved our trip to the aquarium, did you know it’s super expensive nowadays? I wish we could go more often. I should look into the membership.”

That is way too passive. Just be direct.

My parents do this too. Complain about cheap stuff from China but then only buy massive amounts of it. I’ve done a few things that help:

-pointing out that sometimes the brand name is better and the cheap stuff frustrates kids or isn’t compatible with the brand name stuff.
-requesting specific items: “this magnet tile set because it has all the trucks he wants and connects to duplo blocks” rather than “magnet tiles”
-asking for bigger ticket items so they spend more on one good gift than a ton on cheap gifts
-remembering gifting is as much for them as the kids so keeping it in perspective that letting them give my kids tons of stuff makes them happy as well as my kids

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a millennial parenting new found issue.

+1

It’s not a millennial parenting new found issue.

OP here. Very true that this is a caviar problem
and I try to keep that in mind. Luckily this year we have amazon gift receipts so I am returning what I can as well, and they have “stuck to the list” on other items so I am grateful for that too.

The overconsumption during the holidays never really bothered me until I had kids and the labor of gift planning, wrapping and toy management / storage / donations fell to me. I need to do what a PP said and just figure out a way to come to peace with it because this is a temporary issue and it’s not good it negatively impacts my Christmas experience for weeks. Thanks for listening!

Pick a couple you know your kid will like and then donate the rest. Or if it's Amazon...return it! We've started returning Amazon gifts and saving money for my mil. This is 100% within your control.

It’s tough but it’s also not forever. The kids will get older and the presents will change and your parents will pass away. Do your best to direct to presents that already fit in your life or that are consumable. And then do your best to enjoy it. Good luck!

Just donate it to a library, daycare, etc. whatever is closest.

I have this problem too and it genuinely frustrates me, but this is a caviar problem. The way to have it not drive you nuts is not to change their behavior, it’s to put it in perspective and practice gratitude. Seriously. They’re alive. They love you. Managing the tide of Tonka is a small price to pay.

See if you can start to convince them to buy tickets for events like cirque du soliel, a family membership to the aquarium, a ballet class.

Start planting the ideas earlier next year “oh Larla loved our trip to the aquarium, did you know it’s super expensive nowadays? I wish we could go more often. I should look into the membership.”

Find space for a couple of weeks then donate or regift. Don’t let this take up space in your brain.

I hear you. Christmas presents give me anxiety. I can somewhat influence my own parents, but it’s tough to control my MIL, particularly when my husband won’t say anything to her. I’ve given up trying to direct them to experiences. They want to get stuff, and lots of it. My only suggestion is to find a thing that the kids can collect and to ask the grandparents to buy that. So like with my mom I ask her to get Schleich plastic animals for my kids every holiday, because my kids like those. Last Christmas my MIL gave my kids a Tonie box, so I’ve asked her to get them more Tonie figurines. Doesn’t solve the extra stuff issue, but at least those items are small and a little pricey for what they are, and it bothers me less when they go with things we already have.

Hear me out. It may be a millennial parenting trope by now to complain about grandparents over gifting but I REALLY don’t remember this to be a thing when I was growing up at least.

We are so fortunate to have two sets of grandparents who adore our children. We are even lucky that they somewhat adhere to our wishes for gifts for our toddlers - experience gifts, etc. But even with our pleading to keep just to that, or to provide minimal other items so the kids can unwrap something, they inevitably can’t help themselves from buying loads of cheap plastic crap as gifts. I can’t handle the volume and I resent it, because now it’s on me to find room for it and eventually donate it. I’m also annoyed that my MIL gets more presents than we or Santa does for our kids and uncomfortable with how much they are spending. Our kids want for nothing, our planet doesn’t need more crap in a landfill and Bezos doesn’t need more money!

Rant over.