Anonymous wrote:
We no longer host. Simple.
We do our own thing as a nuclear family for the holidays.

Less stress and mess.

This. We didn’t choose it. My sister stopped coming to my parents when she had her own kids and then a few years later my mom passed away and my Dad definitely isn’t hosting. So it’s just the 4 of us. We usually take a trip starting the 26th or 27th but not every year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are your little nips, tucks and shortcuts—white lies and lies of omission—that get you through hosting family, or visiting family?

1) Garage drinks: I have a bottle of Baileys and a bottle of sangria that I keep in the garage. Here and there, I’m filling up my “water cup” with this or that.

2) I have so many small errands to run! Just kidding, I’m fully prepared, but I’ll drive around and look at lights by myself or listen to an audiobook in my car for awhile.

3) The day after Christmas, I’m “visiting a friend from out of town who is staying in Columbia.” Just kidding, I’m going to a spa in Columbia for a three-hour treatment.

I don’t see the need to lie and 2 and 3. The first is the behavior of an alcoholic.

NP. Depends and isn't always behavior of an alcoholic. My parents and inlaws think people are alcoholics for having even ONE glass of wine with dinner or a cocktail after kids go to bed. So you couldn't openly drink in front of them or you'd never hear the end of it.

Regarding #2 though. I just can't imagine leaving the kids with DH while I go chill in my car. The kids would be driving him insane and he wouldn't be able to get anything done, would likely need a break when I get back. Maybe when they aren't toddlers that works? DH and I both enjoy doing things the most with the kids when we're both together and managing them. I'd be nursing the youngest and the older two fighting in a different room.

Our best hack is that we only take one kid with us at a time. One kid is fun to grocery shop with, 3 is hell.

Anonymous wrote:We celebrated last Sunday so my kids don’t have to split the day between their in-laws annd our house.

Now I’m completely done with Xmas and I have two weeks of leave to relax.

What is it that you celebrated? The birth of Jesus?

Anonymous wrote:What are your little nips, tucks and shortcuts—white lies and lies of omission—that get you through hosting family, or visiting family?

1) Garage drinks: I have a bottle of Baileys and a bottle of sangria that I keep in the garage. Here and there, I’m filling up my “water cup” with this or that.

2) I have so many small errands to run! Just kidding, I’m fully prepared, but I’ll drive around and look at lights by myself or listen to an audiobook in my car for awhile.

3) The day after Christmas, I’m “visiting a friend from out of town who is staying in Columbia.” Just kidding, I’m going to a spa in Columbia for a three-hour treatment.

I don’t see the need to lie and 2 and 3. The first is the behavior of an alcoholic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only do what I care about. I made a laborious dinner from my homeland yesterday because I wanted it. I bought gifts for my office and kids because I wanted to. Instead of feeling weighed down, I feel full of agency.

Same. I do exactly what I want to do and skip parts I don't. Like this year we didn't do a polar express, Gaylord ice or a nutcracker play. We did them in the past and I just didn't want it. House is decorated, but I just didn't put up excess things I wasn't in love with. I'm chilling out with the kids and we do one thing a day max. I took off a lot of days too.

I personally hate cooking so I'm struggling with that. I just can't get a menu pulled together for Xmas Eve yet and I'm having 9 people over.

Yes, I try to do that too!

Anonymous wrote:Which spa in Columbia? Please post info.

The Pearl Spa; it’s amazing:
https://www.thepearlspa.com/

Anonymous wrote:I only do what I care about. I made a laborious dinner from my homeland yesterday because I wanted it. I bought gifts for my office and kids because I wanted to. Instead of feeling weighed down, I feel full of agency.

Same. I do exactly what I want to do and skip parts I don't. Like this year we didn't do a polar express, Gaylord ice or a nutcracker play. We did them in the past and I just didn't want it. House is decorated, but I just didn't put up excess things I wasn't in love with. I'm chilling out with the kids and we do one thing a day max. I took off a lot of days too.

I personally hate cooking so I'm struggling with that. I just can't get a menu pulled together for Xmas Eve yet and I'm having 9 people over.

I only do what I care about. I made a laborious dinner from my homeland yesterday because I wanted it. I bought gifts for my office and kids because I wanted to. Instead of feeling weighed down, I feel full of agency.

Which spa in Columbia? Please post info.

Especially liked your last two tips, OP — though we have family members who heartily favor your first one, and they do seem more cheerful than the rest of us!

Going for a walk after the meal (even in a group), or visiting an outdoor holiday venue, has made for surprisingly festive occasions and memories.

Just staying home alone. I've given up.

We celebrated last Sunday so my kids don’t have to split the day between their in-laws annd our house.

Now I’m completely done with Xmas and I have two weeks of leave to relax.

We no longer host. Simple.
We do our own thing as a nuclear family for the holidays.

Less stress and mess.

I don't have family over. That's my miracle hack. Also, I have a heck ton of work, so I sent DH out for Christmas grocery shopping today, and DD is off from school and is going to clean the house. It will be nice to take a few hours off on the 25th to cook and relax.

What are your little nips, tucks and shortcuts—white lies and lies of omission—that get you through hosting family, or visiting family?

1) Garage drinks: I have a bottle of Baileys and a bottle of sangria that I keep in the garage. Here and there, I’m filling up my “water cup” with this or that.

2) I have so many small errands to run! Just kidding, I’m fully prepared, but I’ll drive around and look at lights by myself or listen to an audiobook in my car for awhile.

3) The day after Christmas, I’m “visiting a friend from out of town who is staying in Columbia.” Just kidding, I’m going to a spa in Columbia for a three-hour treatment.