What's more important is your DD and her partner being comfortable with each other, you being comfortable with him or his mom being comfortable with your DD aren't as important.

It will change, but not a lot.

If you want to stay in her life, you better learn to be comfortable with him.

If you feel uncomfortable, likely they do too. Don't make it difficult for your kid.

Anonymous wrote:Having my adult child visit without her significant other!

Will that change with time? Is it an indication that he is not my favorite? Or just normal because he seems more like company than family at this stage? 🤔

You want to keep your nuclear family as it is, subconsciously against extending it. They aren't going to be your babies forever. They are entitled to have partners, kids and in-laws in their life.

Anonymous wrote:Having my adult child visit without her significant other!

Will that change with time? Is it an indication that he is not my favorite? Or just normal because he seems more like company than family at this stage? 🤔

It takes years to get used to one's in-laws and kid-inlaws, give him time and grace.

You sound like a difficult person. Just make sure you don't end up being the MIL no kid's spouse wants to see.

Nope.
Don’t blame you. It’s perfectly fine to not want her/his BF/GF to shack at home.

Normal. You will get more comfortable over time but it’s not like he was raised in your house, so yeah you’ll feel like a host for a while. Do you connect when they aren’t visiting? Have you built a relationship? Like my DDs bf will sometimes say, let’s chat with your mom, and then they call when they’re driving someplace, or he will send a quick text about something. If not, work on building a relationship so your interactions aren’t so rare.

She is 25. They have been together about 2 years. He visits here 2-3 times a year. (She lives elsewhere )

I am a sister and I still feel that way about my brother and SIL after 20+ years!

Seems entirely normal, particularly for close-knit families who aren't super social/extroverted. We are such a family, and while I will do everything in my power to welcome my kids' significant others, I know it will probably take a very long time for me to feel comfortable with them.

It can change. But it is a two way street and you might have to really put in a lot of effort. If your daughter loves him and he is going to be part of the family, it's worth it to embrace it and figure out how to make it what you want it to be.

Anonymous wrote:Having my adult child visit without her significant other!

Will that change with time? Is it an indication that he is not my favorite? Or just normal because he seems more like company than family at this stage? 🤔

How old is your kid and how long have they been together?

Having my adult child visit without her significant other!

Will that change with time? Is it an indication that he is not my favorite? Or just normal because he seems more like company than family at this stage? 🤔