Anonymous wrote:Did you have a parent say stuff like: stick with your sport or interest, you don’t want to be a loser! Get good grades and study habits, you don’t want to be a loser! Pick up after yourself so you’ll be a good roommate, you don’t want to be a loser!

Am curious

Don’t eat that second and third piece of cake, you don’t want to be a fat sugar addict!

I have a child who was never, even 10% anything. So, you’re not a loser, far from if

Do you have a spouse?

Anonymous wrote:I try to distract myself from that fact but it's the truth. I'm a loser. People don't really think much of me, and for good reason. I'm not interesting or charismatic, I don't do anything of consequence, I have not accomplished anything of note in my life. Loser, loser, loser.

Loser.

Take a look and reach out:

https://988lifeline.org/get-help/

Anonymous wrote:Did you have a parent say stuff like: stick with your sport or interest, you don’t want to be a loser! Get good grades and study habits, you don’t want to be a loser! Pick up after yourself so you’ll be a good roommate, you don’t want to be a loser!

Am curious

My parents did not use the word loser. But they ignored me a lot and only paid attention to me if I did something they considered impressive. Actually earlier this week I was visited by a very vivid memory of being in high school and the school had a "top 10% dinner" for the students who were in the top 10% of the class by GPA. I was invited but my mom didn't want to go and told my dad to go. I wasn't close to my dad at all (not really close to my mom either but she was around more, my dad was always working) and it felt awkward to go with him.

But then we went and I was not actually in the top 10%. I received an award for a paper I'd written in a class, but not for GPA. As we walked to the car afterwards, my dad told me how humiliating that had been for him.

Loser.

Did you have a parent say stuff like: stick with your sport or interest, you don’t want to be a loser! Get good grades and study habits, you don’t want to be a loser! Pick up after yourself so you’ll be a good roommate, you don’t want to be a loser!

Am curious

You are not alone in your loserdom.

1. Sometimes, my family forgets to invite me to family events. Occasionally one person will ask "Are you going to David's birthday party?" and I have to respond that no, I wasn't invited. Other times I will be at one thing and they'll be talking about something else and I'll realize they all got together and did that without me.

2. Nobody has ever said they were proud of me. To be fair, there's nothing to be proud of. I'm an assistant at a company and do a decent enough job that I get yearly raises, but I will never get promoted and can't advance. I never have anything to brag about.

3. I am both fat and ugly. Obviously if I could lose weight I would, but I'd still be stuck with the ugly part. My hair always looks awful. Now I'm in perimenopause (I think) and can't work myself up to calling a dr to get an appointment to ask if HRT is right for me bc doctors always dismiss fat ugly people and I don't have it in me to deal with that again.

4. I hate where I live, can't make it better and can't afford to move.

If you are a person who walks through life and generally does not hurt others, no, you are not a loser. No good person is a loser. Look at the president and how highly he thinks of himself when he is a terrible person- HE is a loser. But you, op? You are just a person and that is a good thing. We don’t have to be accomplished in our brief time on earth.

You're intouch with your feelings, you're an open book, honest to a T. You're definitely not a loser in my book. Sef
Self ❤️ 👶

You are not a loser.

That is a story you are telling yourself. How can you change that narrative?

Many factors cause this. It can be parenting, genetics, chemical, combinations of various things, etc.

It is just a thought, albeit a strong and pervasive one.

How can you change that thought?

Hang in there and find help. There are lots of resources out there.

I’m sorry you are unhappy. You need to change the narrative and rewire to tell yourself a different story. You are worth it.

You’re having a bad day. I have them a lot and blame myself. I hope you feel better tomorrow. I wish I knew you and can help you.

You have an inner bully and you’re way too hard on yourself. You are not a loser. Sending positive vibes your way.

I feel that way to sometimes. Is there someone you can talk to? Someone who knows you?

I try to distract myself from that fact but it's the truth. I'm a loser. People don't really think much of me, and for good reason. I'm not interesting or charismatic, I don't do anything of consequence, I have not accomplished anything of note in my life. Loser, loser, loser.

Loser.