Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.theguardian.com/film/2025/dec/15/who-is-nick-rob-reiner-son

I've read some DCUM posts in the past about parents being worried for their own safety or feeling threatened by their adult children and seeing more comments on some of the news articles reporting the son's arrest. Does anyone have other examples or experiences and when do you know that the child is capable of such violence?

Yes, unfortunately, in our old neighborhood, a son killed his father.

And another boy killed his psychiatrist.

Both were mental illnesses.

Also the Hoggle mother who killed both her own children. She was sick way before becoming an adult.

Our mental health system sucks and now there is zero hope for that system given the current administration.

Can you elaborate on what is needed to improve the health system?

Yes - adult children are often unbelievably immature even though they’ve crossed the boundary of 18 and are therefore legal adults. They can’t be held for psychological issues and if they can con hospital professionals well enough can say the right thing and / or check themselves out of the hospital against medical advice.

The ubiquity of cannabis, synthetic weed, plus drinking and the amount of psych drugs a lot of kids are on is just all a dangerous combination. There need to be better ways to protect families from this kind of misery. More ways to get these “adults” attended to and away from people they could harm. 100 percent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dear friend has a violent teen. I fear for her safety. The police have been called multiple times to school and home but he is never removed from the home. He gets referred to juvenile justice and attends an online class or does some community service hours and there are no real consequences.

I’ve been there. Here is what I did. I dropped mine off at hospitals and refused to take them back. I informed law enforcement that I intended to press charges and they were removed. (I never do press charges but I needed to be safe). They always asked if I would agree to hospitalization, which I do. So they would drop them off at the closest hospital and we would not pick them up when the hospital calls. It is unbelievably difficult and heartbreaking to do this. But it got us the help that was needed.

She has tried the hospital route a number of times but is always told to take him home. He’s very manipulative and seems to know what to say to the social workers and psychiatrists. I don’t understand how they believe him when there are witnesses to the violence. It sounds like refusing to pick him up is the only thing left to try.

Anonymous wrote:My dear friend has a violent teen. I fear for her safety. The police have been called multiple times to school and home but he is never removed from the home. He gets referred to juvenile justice and attends an online class or does some community service hours and there are no real consequences.

I’ve been there. Here is what I did. I dropped mine off at hospitals and refused to take them back. I informed law enforcement that I intended to press charges and they were removed. (I never do press charges but I needed to be safe). They always asked if I would agree to hospitalization, which I do. So they would drop them off at the closest hospital and we would not pick them up when the hospital calls. It is unbelievably difficult and heartbreaking to do this. But it got us the help that was needed.

My dear friend has a violent teen. I fear for her safety. The police have been called multiple times to school and home but he is never removed from the home. He gets referred to juvenile justice and attends an online class or does some community service hours and there are no real consequences.

Anonymous wrote:https://www.theguardian.com/film/2025/dec/15/who-is-nick-rob-reiner-son

I've read some DCUM posts in the past about parents being worried for their own safety or feeling threatened by their adult children and seeing more comments on some of the news articles reporting the son's arrest. Does anyone have other examples or experiences and when do you know that the child is capable of such violence?

Yes, unfortunately, in our old neighborhood, a son killed his father.

And another boy killed his psychiatrist.

Both were mental illnesses.

Also the Hoggle mother who killed both her own children. She was sick way before becoming an adult.

Our mental health system sucks and now there is zero hope for that system given the current administration.

Seems to me from what I’ve read and experienced is that drug abuse/addiction and mental health issues/illness, either together or separately are the cause.

Some of the mental health things I’ve read about and also experienced that led to fear of violence and actual violence are schizophrenia, bipolar, attachment related including reactive attachment disorder. These and drug use can lead to psychosis and then all bets are off.

I’ve had to have my now adult child hospitalized and removed by law enforcement many times due to violence both before and after age 18. I had to file for a peace order. I have family that has had to do the same though for different reasons (drugs vs mental illness).

Almost a decade ago I developed an escape plan that was quite elaborate and I practiced it. I moved at one point because there was no real means to get out of if I needed to.

Thing I learned is that everything is a weapon and you cannot ever make your situation safe. The idea of locking up knives and all of the other things doctors and laypeople say about making your environment safe are a joke. I mean, even your jar of pickles is a deadly weapon either because it can be thrown at your head or broken so the glass can be used to cut you (or them). That being said, we would never have guns.

Scariest thing was a prolonged psychotic period where there were multiple voices. At that point all predictably was gone and I was the victim of a violent attack.

Here’s a thing though. It is almost unfathomable to imagine the child you love with all of your being hurting you. It’s different than denial. You literally cannot imagine it. And then all of a sudden you’re making an escape plan.

Here’s another thing. You wouldn’t ever guess this is our life. We both work high level professional jobs where we are respected , are very involved with our kids and at their schools, kids were involved in activities and sports. We’re just so typical for this area.

Anyway, we are fortunate. After about a million metal health providers, we finally found one that would prescribe what was needed for success. With complex situations so much is contraindicated and avoided but that was what was needed. And puberty ended. And covid is over. We are more than two years since the last period of psychosis. And I don’t practice the escape plan anymore.

Very common.

My stepsister was so violent that at 16/17, she had broken her mom’s bone. Caused tens of thousands of dollars of damage to our house, had multiple pregnancy scares, and became an alcoholic.

It was just a bad time period in her life. Thankfully, she’s 24 now, college educated, engaged, and doing well.

Anonymous wrote:Happens in the serious mental illnesses. Society today offers zero help to desperate parents except for jailing someone after a crime. Civil commitment for seriously mentally ill is lacking beds, difficult to implement, and too short in duration to be effective. The woman in Maryland who killed her mom with a cell phone? That family had 40 phone calls to the authorities seeking help!

Rather than patting the police on the back for solving these “surprise crimes”, which are easy to solve, go complain to legislators and cities who allow release of the mentally ill without any help. They’re seriously mentally ill—hitting rock bottom isn’t going to work.

Unfortunately our legislators work for big pharma, not for us.

Happens in the serious mental illnesses. Society today offers zero help to desperate parents except for jailing someone after a crime. Civil commitment for seriously mentally ill is lacking beds, difficult to implement, and too short in duration to be effective. The woman in Maryland who killed her mom with a cell phone? That family had 40 phone calls to the authorities seeking help!

Rather than patting the police on the back for solving these “surprise crimes”, which are easy to solve, go complain to legislators and cities who allow release of the mentally ill without any help. They’re seriously mentally ill—hitting rock bottom isn’t going to work.

Most parents would rather not identify their violent child as being violent, but all you need to do is look at the daily violence in the public schools.

Its happening in our family. Young Adult with schizophrenia and bi polar disorder.

Yes on DCUM. One was a mother whose child threatened them with s pocket knife but "didn't mean it."
I think about that family a lot.

Yes it I would rather not share

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2025/dec/15/who-is-nick-rob-reiner-son

I've read some DCUM posts in the past about parents being worried for their own safety or feeling threatened by their adult children and seeing more comments on some of the news articles reporting the son's arrest. Does anyone have other examples or experiences and when do you know that the child is capable of such violence?