My parents live in another country and only heard about Harvard and a little bit of Ivy League. Unfortunately my children didn’t attend Ivies, so I let them know their grandkid got in the Harvard in the South, another one got in a little Ivy. They immediately got it. Hahaha…

Anonymous wrote:Tell DH what they said and ask him to explain the nuances to them and the reasons your DC applied ED to the ED school. Give them a chance to understand. Communication is key.

Then work on not caring what they think.

OP here. Of course I told DH what they said. He just said they are idiots and wrong about a lot of things. I don't think he cares what they think, but I am more of an empath and of course want my kid to be shielded from their grandparents' negativity.

My advice would actually be not to care.

Anonymous wrote:It happened everywhere. My in-laws were mad that my DD didn't apply for CS. Well, they even didn't know my DD's SAT, GPA, EC or anything like that. All they heard is CS can earn big money quickly.

Ignore it. Focus on what you need to do.

Yes. Focus on your kid. That’s what matters most here.

It happened everywhere. My in-laws were mad that my DD didn't apply for CS. Well, they even didn't know my DD's SAT, GPA, EC or anything like that. All they heard is CS can earn big money quickly.

Ignore it. Focus on what you need to do.

There's ALWAYS a post like this. Just like MIL stories ALWAYS crop up before the Holidays.

I guess it was two years ago.. I’ve been on here too long, LOL

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1139454.page

Wasn’t this a thread a few weeks ago? I swear I’ve seen this post on here before just recently, maybe in a different category.

Can you stop with the "immigrants" not knowing stuff? I'm a foreigner, and an immigrant to this country, and I know the college admissions process.

You are simply dealing with people who have ambitions but no current knowledge. I know middle-aged Caucasian Americans like this!

So you educate them, shut them down, whatever you want. My mother has no filter, on any topic, so we limit the time we spend with her. Many of us deal with difficult elders or relatives. It is what it is.

Anonymous wrote:You know they’re poorly informed and out of touch. No point in giving their opinion any weight.

Honestly this. If I wasn’t tracking all this stuff I’d think my kids had a shot at my ivy alma mater. They clearly don’t. Be happy if your dd gets in, support her if she doesn’t, and let go of any reaction from the grandparents.

Maybe tell them first yourself so dd doesn’t have to deal with their initial reaction, if you think they won’t be able to help themselves.

Tell DH what they said and ask him to explain the nuances to them and the reasons your DC applied ED to the ED school. Give them a chance to understand. Communication is key.

Then work on not caring what they think.

Laugh about it. We still tell stories about when my grandpa asked if my fiancé directly whether he had put on some weight. And so many other things.

Good discussion with my kids about how not to be in the modern world (but also that the same grandfather worked in a factory starting at age 12). And loves you very much.

Oh, and buy grandparents merch for the holidays.

You know they’re poorly informed and out of touch. No point in giving their opinion any weight.

I stop caring about that stuff a long time ago. I find it easier with in-laws than parents, but I let go/let god

DD applied ED to her first choice school. We are very supportive of her well decision and cautiously optimistic. The problem is my in-laws who live in a nearby suburb and whom we see at least twice a month. On one of our recent visits, they told me (but not in front of DD or DH) how upset they were when they heard DD applied to X school rather than an "Ivy League" school. They are immigrants and don't get that Ivy is a sports league.

I told them that X is a wonderful school and that all of these top schools are darn near impossible to get into these days (I previously told them that a lot of these top schools reject 90-95% of applicants now so they are darn near impossible to get in).

In-laws are in their 80s so there's no changing who they are and due to a language barrier (and general exasperation talking to them about anything), it's hard to explain all of the nuances of holistic admissions, institutional priorities, geographic diversity, etc.

Anyway, we are hearing back from the ED school this week. Any advice on how to not care about the in-laws' reaction?