Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she goes every year maybe there something else going on, like she’s getting dx with cancer or her best friend died or something. Try some compassion and concern first.

And personally, $500 worth of skincare every year sounds like a crummy gift.

This, or she's getting older and travel is harder. How about offering to go to her home instead? I would not want $500 in skincare and would think you really don't make any effort to know me if you think that's what I want. You are very wealthy to have multiple homes and waste $500 on skin care so how is a flight even an issue.

She asks for skincare items. So it’s not a crummy gift for her, it’s what she has requested and it’s a pricey brand she’s asked for and named.

You should call her before you withhold her
Christmas gift. Or DH can call, doesn’t matter. This isn’t hard.

Has anyone in the family spoken to her since early November? Has your DH made sure she is okay?

Is this out of the ordinary?

Who knows what is going on but it is a but rash to go to such extremes if you don't know what is happening.

The weirdest part of this is you and your MIL using the same skincare.

It doesn't cross your mind to be worried about her? Yikes.

It's totally ridiculous to not give her a gift even if she doesn't want to visit you or doesn't respond quickly. Unbelievable your thought is you should keep the gift instead of being worried about her.

Anonymous wrote:Call her

This.

This isn’t that difficult.

I wonder why it was necessary to state the value of the skin care in the OP. If it's something she likes, great. If it's not something she likes, then being expensive doesn't make it any better.

Call her

Anonymous wrote:If she goes every year maybe there something else going on, like she’s getting dx with cancer or her best friend died or something. Try some compassion and concern first.

And personally, $500 worth of skincare every year sounds like a crummy gift.

I'd happily take it!
OP, has your husband communicated with his mother? If not, why not? Shouldn't he be the one to coordinate holidays? My husand deals with his family and I deal with mine. Much easier.

How far apart do you live? How often do you see each other? Does your MIL always respond to your text offer for a flight every year - is it possible she was assuming you'd buy the ticket without a response from her? When is the last time she spent Christmas somewhere else? Does she have a different option for Christmas this year? What's your DH's communication with your MIL like?

Anonymous wrote:If she goes every year maybe there something else going on, like she’s getting dx with cancer or her best friend died or something. Try some compassion and concern first.

And personally, $500 worth of skincare every year sounds like a crummy gift.

This, or she's getting older and travel is harder. How about offering to go to her home instead? I would not want $500 in skincare and would think you really don't make any effort to know me if you think that's what I want. You are very wealthy to have multiple homes and waste $500 on skin care so how is a flight even an issue.

You shouldn't have had to message her. Your dh should have messaged and then called to follow up.

If she goes every year maybe there something else going on, like she’s getting dx with cancer or her best friend died or something. Try some compassion and concern first.

And personally, $500 worth of skincare every year sounds like a crummy gift.

We go to our ski house for every Christmas for 2-3 weeks during the school vacation. I’ve flown my mother in law out every year to spend Christmas day with us and she stays 4 nights. I messaged her in early Nov to ask her if she wanted me to book a flight and then again this week and zero reply. It’s actually not realistic we even get one as they are insanely expensive and sold out. I can see it was read both times. She’s obviously ignoring me. I have a very nice gift for her but at this point I’m wondering if I should even give her one. I usually do the shopping and it’s $500 worth of skin care from Nordstrom. It’s something nice I can keep for myself. I think it’s on my husband at this point to make the plans with her to get a gift from the grandkids to her before we leave. WWYD?