Anonymous
12/14/2025 11:12
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Accept that it's an ultimatum. Op, you've been told. Btw, he probably has no opinion about which med/dosage. Consider taking him to a doctor's appointment if discussing med/dosage would help. But that should not be your ultimatum. He does not need to do that. It sounds like he's serious and we, without any more information, can only assume he knows what he's talking about - stay on meds or your marriage is ending.
Anonymous
12/14/2025 10:41
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My doc put me on 10mg of an SSRI last year because I was feeling overwhelmed. I have a job that I like but that requires nonstop active management, my husband has a demanding job, and we have two young boys.
Like a lot of other women, the mental load of the kids is mine, all mine. My husband is very present and a great dad, but that doesn’t mean he’s ever bought an article of clothing for them, or a present for their friend’s bday party, or any of the daily planning.
I was feeling better over the summer and tried to ween off of the SSRI but my marriage took a huge hit. When I didn’t have that boost, I was easily pissed off by even the slightest nonsense from my husband, and I made it known.
I felt bad for the kids and our family dynamic so I went back on it after a few months.
I feel ridiculous even writing this sentence: is it normal to have to stay on an antidepressant to keep a marriage?
I don’t want to divorce because when things are good, they’re really good, but I don’t have the strength unmedicated to put up with my husband.
He means well but he’s just so clueless. It’s not just the mental load. It’s the dumb things he’s capable of saying, a complete unawareness. I sound bitter but I’m mostly sad that I’m so frustrated by someone I also very much love.
Why are you blaming your husband marriage for need for the SSRI, OP? You could just as easily have said that it is the stresses of your job that are putting you over the edge. He’s just a convenient punching bag.
For the sake of your kids, you need to do whatever it takes to keep their home intact.
Your stressful job is definitely a contributing factor. But you'd rather focus on your DH only since he is a factor you cannot change. Poor you.
Anonymous
12/14/2025 10:38
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
This seems a little dramatic, OP. I handle everything in our household. DH has a demanding job, works long hours and travels a lot, but he does what he can handle. I do 95% of everything related to our house, children and life. Is it stressful at times, yes! Can I handle it, yes. Outsource this to a nanny or house manager if you are overwhelmed by it all or just embrace it and do it. For example, go on Amazon find two or three kids gifts you really like buy them ahead of time. This provides forbirthday gifts for other kids when they are needed for parties.Make doctors appointments all in one sitting or send DH a text or email for him to do it. I have a busy hectic job that I love, but I juggle and make it all work. I understand your frustration, but this is manageable. Focus on better communication to see if this helps your situation.
Anonymous
12/14/2025 10:29
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:My doc put me on 10mg of an SSRI last year because I was feeling overwhelmed. I have a job that I like but that requires nonstop active management, my husband has a demanding job, and we have two young boys.
Like a lot of other women, the mental load of the kids is mine, all mine. My husband is very present and a great dad, but that doesn’t mean he’s ever bought an article of clothing for them, or a present for their friend’s bday party, or any of the daily planning.
I was feeling better over the summer and tried to ween off of the SSRI but my marriage took a huge hit. When I didn’t have that boost, I was easily pissed off by even the slightest nonsense from my husband, and I made it known.
I felt bad for the kids and our family dynamic so I went back on it after a few months.
I feel ridiculous even writing this sentence: is it normal to have to stay on an antidepressant to keep a marriage?
I don’t want to divorce because when things are good, they’re really good, but I don’t have the strength unmedicated to put up with my husband.
He means well but he’s just so clueless. It’s not just the mental load. It’s the dumb things he’s capable of saying, a complete unawareness. I sound bitter but I’m mostly sad that I’m so frustrated by someone I also very much love.
Why are you blaming your husband marriage for need for the SSRI, OP? You could just as easily have said that it is the stresses of your job that are putting you over the edge. He’s just a convenient punching bag.
For the sake of your kids, you need to do whatever it takes to keep their home intact.
Anonymous
12/14/2025 10:22
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:I'm on an SSRI to deal with my very difficult SN child.
Its better than the alternative. Stay on it.
I would stay on an SSRI to be a better parent. I would not stay on an SSRI to be a better wife (or one who could tolerate better or to be a better employee.
Anonymous
12/14/2025 10:09
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:In like this but flipped
DH is on SSRI so i can tolerate him
OP’s DH probably thinking the same
OP here. That’s exactly what he thinks. To him I’m the stereotypical crazy woman without the meds. Never would he call into question his role in driving me nuts.
This is why meds are best in conjunction with therapy -- in your case, couples therapy. I'm sure the "truth" is somewhere in the middle and you and he aren't communicating effectively.
Anonymous
12/14/2025 10:05
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
I’m not currently medicated otherwise I would have thought I wrote this post. I’ve been on anti depression/anxiety meds for two stretches over the years but stopped both times because the side effects were not good and insurance didn’t cover the drug that ultimately worked for me. I also realized that I was medicating myself to help manage dealing with fallout from my husband’s anxiety/depression. When he is traveling for work, I’m fine. But when he’s home, it’s really hard. I’m the person he dumps all of his worries and sadness on. I can’t carry the weight anymore so I’m considering going back on medication. He vacillates between supporting me taking the medication “because I need it” and telling me the drugs are placebo and no one knows how/if they really work. He certainly would never take anything himself. Kids are young enough that I feel that I need to do whatever is necessary to get by.
Anonymous
12/14/2025 10:04
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
I did this to stay with my xH. I was so depressed being with him I would get suicidal. For similar reasons, everything was 100% on me.
Eventually we ended up splitting anyway and I’m SO much happier. I’ll never compromise my physical or mental health for a man again.
Eventually we ended up splitting anyway and I’m SO much happier. I’ll never compromise my physical or mental health for a man again.
Anonymous
12/14/2025 09:53
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:My doc put me on 10mg of an SSRI last year because I was feeling overwhelmed. I have a job that I like but that requires nonstop active management, my husband has a demanding job, and we have two young boys.
Like a lot of other women, the mental load of the kids is mine, all mine. My husband is very present and a great dad, but that doesn’t mean he’s ever bought an article of clothing for them, or a present for their friend’s bday party, or any of the daily planning.
I was feeling better over the summer and tried to ween off of the SSRI but my marriage took a huge hit. When I didn’t have that boost, I was easily pissed off by even the slightest nonsense from my husband, and I made it known.
I felt bad for the kids and our family dynamic so I went back on it after a few months.
I feel ridiculous even writing this sentence: is it normal to have to stay on an antidepressant to keep a marriage?
I don’t want to divorce because when things are good, they’re really good, but I don’t have the strength unmedicated to put up with my husband.
He means well but he’s just so clueless. It’s not just the mental load. It’s the dumb things he’s capable of saying, a complete unawareness. I sound bitter but I’m mostly sad that I’m so frustrated by someone I also very much love.
Same. Same !
Anonymous
12/14/2025 09:36
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:In like this but flipped
DH is on SSRI so i can tolerate him
OP’s DH probably thinking the same
OP here. That’s exactly what he thinks. To him I’m the stereotypical crazy woman without the meds. Never would he call into question his role in driving me nuts.
Anonymous
12/14/2025 09:29
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
I'm on an SSRI to deal with my very difficult SN child.
Its better than the alternative. Stay on it.
Its better than the alternative. Stay on it.
Anonymous
12/14/2025 09:26
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:My doc put me on 10mg of an SSRI last year because I was feeling overwhelmed. I have a job that I like but that requires nonstop active management, my husband has a demanding job, and we have two young boys.
Like a lot of other women, the mental load of the kids is mine, all mine. My husband is very present and a great dad, but that doesn’t mean he’s ever bought an article of clothing for them, or a present for their friend’s bday party, or any of the daily planning.
I was feeling better over the summer and tried to ween off of the SSRI but my marriage took a huge hit. When I didn’t have that boost, I was easily pissed off by even the slightest nonsense from my husband, and I made it known.
I felt bad for the kids and our family dynamic so I went back on it after a few months.
I feel ridiculous even writing this sentence: is it normal to have to stay on an antidepressant to keep a marriage?
I don’t want to divorce because when things are good, they’re really good, but I don’t have the strength unmedicated to put up with my husband.
He means well but he’s just so clueless. It’s not just the mental load. It’s the dumb things he’s capable of saying, a complete unawareness. I sound bitter but I’m mostly sad that I’m so frustrated by someone I also very much love.
If he doesn't do any of the planning hes not a great dad.
Anonymous
12/14/2025 09:25
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:In like this but flipped
DH is on SSRI so i can tolerate him
OP’s DH probably thinking the same
Anonymous
12/14/2025 09:23
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
In like this but flipped
DH is on SSRI so i can tolerate him
DH is on SSRI so i can tolerate him
Anonymous
12/14/2025 09:22
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
My doc put me on 10mg of an SSRI last year because I was feeling overwhelmed. I have a job that I like but that requires nonstop active management, my husband has a demanding job, and we have two young boys.
Like a lot of other women, the mental load of the kids is mine, all mine. My husband is very present and a great dad, but that doesn’t mean he’s ever bought an article of clothing for them, or a present for their friend’s bday party, or any of the daily planning.
I was feeling better over the summer and tried to ween off of the SSRI but my marriage took a huge hit. When I didn’t have that boost, I was easily pissed off by even the slightest nonsense from my husband, and I made it known.
I felt bad for the kids and our family dynamic so I went back on it after a few months.
I feel ridiculous even writing this sentence: is it normal to have to stay on an antidepressant to keep a marriage?
I don’t want to divorce because when things are good, they’re really good, but I don’t have the strength unmedicated to put up with my husband.
He means well but he’s just so clueless. It’s not just the mental load. It’s the dumb things he’s capable of saying, a complete unawareness. I sound bitter but I’m mostly sad that I’m so frustrated by someone I also very much love.
Like a lot of other women, the mental load of the kids is mine, all mine. My husband is very present and a great dad, but that doesn’t mean he’s ever bought an article of clothing for them, or a present for their friend’s bday party, or any of the daily planning.
I was feeling better over the summer and tried to ween off of the SSRI but my marriage took a huge hit. When I didn’t have that boost, I was easily pissed off by even the slightest nonsense from my husband, and I made it known.
I felt bad for the kids and our family dynamic so I went back on it after a few months.
I feel ridiculous even writing this sentence: is it normal to have to stay on an antidepressant to keep a marriage?
I don’t want to divorce because when things are good, they’re really good, but I don’t have the strength unmedicated to put up with my husband.
He means well but he’s just so clueless. It’s not just the mental load. It’s the dumb things he’s capable of saying, a complete unawareness. I sound bitter but I’m mostly sad that I’m so frustrated by someone I also very much love.