It's all about you isn't it?

You are overthinking it.

It's the holidays. People are overextended and having trouble keeping up with plans and texts.

Yes, you just may be guilty for overthinking this.
And this is coming from the biggest overthinker period‼️
I would not think twice about this >> it is obvious that she is very busy right now.

Another vote for overthinking.

Have you ever tried to make plans and then one of your kids gets sick and maybe mom calls that dad is in the hospital and something goes wrong at work, etc. Suddenly a week goes by and your texts have piled up and you are throwing a party and haven't gotten anything you need. This is such a crazy time in life. Assume the best, have grace and enjoy the party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, you should not have tried to set something up at this point. I'm sure she is busy enough trying to track down no replies like you, and that is what her messages were about: the party. I'm sure she wants you to attend the party and you can reconnect and catch up there. AT the party would have also been a good time to say, "Hey, great to see you! Let's grab coffee sometime. Are you in town at all over the holidays for a quick meet up? We could invite Sally too."

NP, but how hard is it to acknowledge that and reply back, “Sounds great, let’s catch up after the dinner.” That took me maybe three seconds.

It's not hard but it's also incredibly easy when communicating via text to leave something like that hanging. Especially if, as is likely, she had sent multiple texts that day to different people making sure they got the invite as she tries to nail down the headcount, and may have been responding to multiple people. Her focus that day was on the dinner, she forgot to follow up with OP regarding future plans. Maybe she meant to do it later and then it slipped her mind.

Surely this happens to everyone? You've never meant to respond to a text chain, gotten distracted, and then forgotten about it? This is the problem with text.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, you should not have tried to set something up at this point. I'm sure she is busy enough trying to track down no replies like you, and that is what her messages were about: the party. I'm sure she wants you to attend the party and you can reconnect and catch up there. AT the party would have also been a good time to say, "Hey, great to see you! Let's grab coffee sometime. Are you in town at all over the holidays for a quick meet up? We could invite Sally too."

NP, but how hard is it to acknowledge that and reply back, “Sounds great, let’s catch up after the dinner.” That took me maybe three seconds.

Yes, but from her perspective, how hard is it to reply to an evite? She followed up with OP three times.
And I just reread. The person and OP are not friends. She's the new fiance of a family friend. That's like the 3rd cousin once removed in terms of closeness.

This is a very busy time of year and she is hosting an event soon, plus she is engaged and is presumably planning her wedding. I think you are way overthinking her lack of communication.

Also the fact that she reached out to you to let you know she'd sent the invite and to make sure you checked spam is already going above and beyond -- I have never done that before. It indicates she was highly invested in seeing you.

Go to the event, and maybe reach out to see if she wants to hang out in January or February when people's schedules tend to open up. Attending the event will also be a relationship builder -- sounds like you guys are still at the beginning of a friendship and not yet to the 1:1 hangout stage but might enter it soon. Be patient. Her invite was part of that process.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, you should not have tried to set something up at this point. I'm sure she is busy enough trying to track down no replies like you, and that is what her messages were about: the party. I'm sure she wants you to attend the party and you can reconnect and catch up there. AT the party would have also been a good time to say, "Hey, great to see you! Let's grab coffee sometime. Are you in town at all over the holidays for a quick meet up? We could invite Sally too."

NP, but how hard is it to acknowledge that and reply back, “Sounds great, let’s catch up after the dinner.” That took me maybe three seconds.

You're overthinking this.

Anonymous wrote:Did you rsvp yes, and also try to make additional plans? It sounds like the suggestion was to do something else only if you can't make it. It is rude for her not to respond at all though.

I did RSVP no, because I have plans. I did suggest dates for the thing she suggested.

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. At what point did you find the evite in spam, and when did. you RSVP?

I found it after she texted me. I RSVP’d during my reply text.

Honestly, you should not have tried to set something up at this point. I'm sure she is busy enough trying to track down no replies like you, and that is what her messages were about: the party. I'm sure she wants you to attend the party and you can reconnect and catch up there. AT the party would have also been a good time to say, "Hey, great to see you! Let's grab coffee sometime. Are you in town at all over the holidays for a quick meet up? We could invite Sally too."

Did you rsvp yes, and also try to make additional plans? It sounds like the suggestion was to do something else only if you can't make it. It is rude for her not to respond at all though.

I don't get it. At what point did you find the evite in spam, and when did. you RSVP?

A family friend’s new fiancée is organizing a holiday dinner at a restaurant and sent out e-invites. Mine landed in spam, so I didn’t see it at first. I’ve met her a handful of times and even hosted her (along with our mutual friend). She’s lovely, and we’ve always had that “friendly when we cross paths” rapport.

Anyway, about two weeks ago she sent me three texts in a row:

“Hey, I miss you! Hoping we can get together around the holiday!”

A follow-up saying she’d sent an invite and it might have gone to spam.

Then, “Hope you can make it, but if not, let’s get together and do the X thing we talked about at Y!”

I replied with a warm, thoughtful message, asked a couple of questions, and tried to actually set something up.

And… nothing. Radio silence. Not even acknowledging my RSVP.

I can’t help feeling like the enthusiastic texts were mostly a polite way to confirm the head count for this dinner, not genuine interest in reconnecting. I feel a bit foolish for assuming she meant the rest of it. Am I overthinking this, or is it reasonable to feel a little stung?