Anonymous
12/11/2025 23:11
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
Anonymous wrote:sometimes men realize or know things about other men that men don't realize or know. it's kinda interesting that all the men in your family are unenthusiastic about all this. maybe they know something you don't. hopefully not.
if you guys want to get married, why aren't you married already? I mean if you are waiting until you are out of the miscarriage window, that kinda indicates that you WOULDNT be married without the pregnancy.
I wrote about the courthouse booking.
I also agree with this. Men tend to understand each other's actions - or rather, inactions.
Anonymous
12/11/2025 23:10
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
Book a date at the courthouse and invite the families to the celebration afterwards. Your families want to make sure the child is brought into the world with both parents invested in a union. Is there anything wrong with that?
Anonymous
12/11/2025 23:07
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
sometimes men realize or know things about other men that men don't realize or know. it's kinda interesting that all the men in your family are unenthusiastic about all this. maybe they know something you don't. hopefully not.
if you guys want to get married, why aren't you married already? I mean if you are waiting until you are out of the miscarriage window, that kinda indicates that you WOULDNT be married without the pregnancy.
if you guys want to get married, why aren't you married already? I mean if you are waiting until you are out of the miscarriage window, that kinda indicates that you WOULDNT be married without the pregnancy.
Anonymous
12/11/2025 23:04
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
Anonymous wrote:OP, get a marriage license next week, book an officiant (JP? Family lawyer?) and have a nice old fashioned (1950s, 60s, 70s, 80s) wedding ceremony in your dad’s living room with just the immediate family with cocktails and finger foods reception immediately thereafter. You can all wear Sunday best without going full wedding.
If you really want to do a big wedding a year later great - or maybe by then you’ll be happier going on a trip with husband and child.
If you and fiancé want to marry before baby comes, and want to do low key - just compromise and marry with your dad present. He wants to see you married, that’s sweet.
this.
Anonymous
12/11/2025 23:01
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, get a marriage license next week, book an officiant (JP? Family lawyer?) and have a nice old fashioned (1950s, 60s, 70s, 80s) wedding ceremony in your dad’s living room with just the immediate family with cocktails and finger foods reception immediately thereafter. You can all wear Sunday best without going full wedding.
If you really want to do a big wedding a year later great - or maybe by then you’ll be happier going on a trip with husband and child.
If you and fiancé want to marry before baby comes, and want to do low key - just compromise and marry with your dad present. He wants to see you married, that’s sweet.
+1
I love this. Small intimate weddings are the best. I attended one outside their childhood home back yard once, very charming.
Anonymous
12/11/2025 22:53
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It sounds like they don't like him...
Because OP glossed over what really happened all the times they tried dating before. But her family knows and isn’t interested in glossing over it.
What really happened is exactly what I said. Timing was off.
We tried dating at 19 but it was long distance and we were in school. Then again in our mid-20s but then he got a job offer on the west coast and we didn’t pursue anything. Then again at 30 but I had gotten out of a serious relationship and wasn’t ready to get serious.
Anonymous
12/11/2025 22:21
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like they don't like him...
Because OP glossed over what really happened all the times they tried dating before. But her family knows and isn’t interested in glossing over it.
Anonymous
12/11/2025 22:20
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
Anonymous wrote:OP, get a marriage license next week, book an officiant (JP? Family lawyer?) and have a nice old fashioned (1950s, 60s, 70s, 80s) wedding ceremony in your dad’s living room with just the immediate family with cocktails and finger foods reception immediately thereafter. You can all wear Sunday best without going full wedding.
If you really want to do a big wedding a year later great - or maybe by then you’ll be happier going on a trip with husband and child.
If you and fiancé want to marry before baby comes, and want to do low key - just compromise and marry with your dad present. He wants to see you married, that’s sweet.
+1
Anonymous
12/11/2025 22:19
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
Sounds like you too wanted to be married before the baby. So do it. Just elope! Surely by 35 you hate weddings and have seen all your friends hate planning one?
Anonymous
12/11/2025 22:12
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
It sounds like they don't like him...
Anonymous
12/11/2025 22:06
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
OP, get a marriage license next week, book an officiant (JP? Family lawyer?) and have a nice old fashioned (1950s, 60s, 70s, 80s) wedding ceremony in your dad’s living room with just the immediate family with cocktails and finger foods reception immediately thereafter. You can all wear Sunday best without going full wedding.
If you really want to do a big wedding a year later great - or maybe by then you’ll be happier going on a trip with husband and child.
If you and fiancé want to marry before baby comes, and want to do low key - just compromise and marry with your dad present. He wants to see you married, that’s sweet.
If you really want to do a big wedding a year later great - or maybe by then you’ll be happier going on a trip with husband and child.
If you and fiancé want to marry before baby comes, and want to do low key - just compromise and marry with your dad present. He wants to see you married, that’s sweet.
Anonymous
12/11/2025 22:01
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
What are you asking OP? Some people are old fashioned. Their talk doesn't seem that extreme to me. Of course you wish they were just elated but if will take them time to adjust.
Anonymous
12/11/2025 22:01
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
Honestly you're 35 years old and your Dad and brother are treating you like a child. Don't let them.
If this guy is going to be your family this is the make or break moment. You don't let your dad or brother disrupt your mutually agreed wedding plans.
If this guy is going to be your family this is the make or break moment. You don't let your dad or brother disrupt your mutually agreed wedding plans.
Anonymous
12/11/2025 22:01
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
Anonymous wrote:I’m 35 years old and starting my second trimester. My SO and I have been happily together for 1.5 years. We met when I was 18, tried dating throughout the years but the timing was always off until recently. I lost my mother unexpectedly in August of 2024, so when I found out I was pregnant I was both elated and sad; very bittersweet. However, I knew the baby was a blessing and it was the most at peace I felt in years.
My SO is well off, a man of his word, reliable, works hard, and we get a long well, so although we’re not married I’m happy he’s the father. We had talked about marriage before the pregnancy, so we want to make sure we’re legally married. He asked for my father’s hand already. We told my dad about me pregnant and he was not happy. Neither was my older brother. My dad, who I guess up until this point absolutely adored my SO. He said he wished I was married beforehand, which I assured him we planned on being legally married before giving birth. That wasn’t good enough I guess because he said it would be a “rushed job” and that he’s worried that he just wants to marry me because of the baby. My brother said I’m rushing things. Great.
We announced my pregnancy to our families on Thanksgiving. His family was so excited, my on the other hand, not so much. My mom’s sisters were happy but everyone else, mainly my uncles didn’t say a word. In fact, one of them sat next to me after we announced and asked if I was okay. I told him I was and asked if he was. Then, he asked if I was happy and I told him yes. He slow nodded and said, “Okay. I’m happy if you’re happy”. The crazy thing is, this uncle grew up with my SO’s family and they’ve been close since he was a boy! Even my aunt said the family’s reaction was lukewarm. She chalked it up to the family not knowing my SO very well since he’s only been around the family a handful of times. That’s when I told her it would’ve been different if I was married first.
Today, my father wanted to chit chat. I figured it was about his will since he’s been working on it. Nope. It was to talk about us getting married. The first thing out of his mouth was, “So when is the wedding?”. I was confused because I’m in no shape to plan a wedding for 100+ people right now. I told him there’s no date for that. He said he was confused because he asked for his blessing and said again, that he wished that I was married beforehand. That he doesn’t want him marrying me just because I’m pregnant and to leave me high and dry as a single mother. I reminded him that we planned on being legally married before the baby gets here. Then he wanted to know the date for that. I told him we hadn’t picked a date and we just planned on a no muss, no fuss getting the license and before an officiant just the two of us then a year after the baby we’d having an actual wedding. He said that he and my brother need to be there because he wants to see his daughter get married. I was speaking with my aunt and she said it’s normal for someone to wonder if we’re getting married just because of the baby. Is it at my age?
This whole thing feels like a cluster-f. I’m sure a part of this is due to my hormones but it’s all making me sad and feeling lonely. Most of my family isn’t happy, and my mom not being here makes it feel even lonelier. I was happier before other people knew. None of this would be happening if I was married first…
Good grief, are they looking to perform an honor killing too?! Run and hide!
Anonymous
12/11/2025 21:56
Subject: 35, pregnant, and unwed.
I’m 35 years old and starting my second trimester. My SO and I have been happily together for 1.5 years. We met when I was 18, tried dating throughout the years but the timing was always off until recently. I lost my mother unexpectedly in August of 2024, so when I found out I was pregnant I was both elated and sad; very bittersweet. However, I knew the baby was a blessing and it was the most at peace I felt in years.
My SO is well off, a man of his word, reliable, works hard, and we get a long well, so although we’re not married I’m happy he’s the father. We had talked about marriage before the pregnancy, so we want to make sure we’re legally married. He asked for my father’s hand already. We told my dad about me pregnant and he was not happy. Neither was my older brother. My dad, who I guess up until this point absolutely adored my SO. He said he wished I was married beforehand, which I assured him we planned on being legally married before giving birth. That wasn’t good enough I guess because he said it would be a “rushed job” and that he’s worried that he just wants to marry me because of the baby. My brother said I’m rushing things. Great.
We announced my pregnancy to our families on Thanksgiving. His family was so excited, my on the other hand, not so much. My mom’s sisters were happy but everyone else, mainly my uncles didn’t say a word. In fact, one of them sat next to me after we announced and asked if I was okay. I told him I was and asked if he was. Then, he asked if I was happy and I told him yes. He slow nodded and said, “Okay. I’m happy if you’re happy”. The crazy thing is, this uncle grew up with my SO’s family and they’ve been close since he was a boy! Even my aunt said the family’s reaction was lukewarm. She chalked it up to the family not knowing my SO very well since he’s only been around the family a handful of times. That’s when I told her it would’ve been different if I was married first.
Today, my father wanted to chit chat. I figured it was about his will since he’s been working on it. Nope. It was to talk about us getting married. The first thing out of his mouth was, “So when is the wedding?”. I was confused because I’m in no shape to plan a wedding for 100+ people right now. I told him there’s no date for that. He said he was confused because he asked for his blessing and said again, that he wished that I was married beforehand. That he doesn’t want him marrying me just because I’m pregnant and to leave me high and dry as a single mother. I reminded him that we planned on being legally married before the baby gets here. Then he wanted to know the date for that. I told him we hadn’t picked a date and we just planned on a no muss, no fuss getting the license and before an officiant just the two of us then a year after the baby we’d having an actual wedding. He said that he and my brother need to be there because he wants to see his daughter get married. I was speaking with my aunt and she said it’s normal for someone to wonder if we’re getting married just because of the baby. Is it at my age?
This whole thing feels like a cluster-f. I’m sure a part of this is due to my hormones but it’s all making me sad and feeling lonely. Most of my family isn’t happy, and my mom not being here makes it feel even lonelier. I was happier before other people knew. None of this would be happening if I was married first…
My SO is well off, a man of his word, reliable, works hard, and we get a long well, so although we’re not married I’m happy he’s the father. We had talked about marriage before the pregnancy, so we want to make sure we’re legally married. He asked for my father’s hand already. We told my dad about me pregnant and he was not happy. Neither was my older brother. My dad, who I guess up until this point absolutely adored my SO. He said he wished I was married beforehand, which I assured him we planned on being legally married before giving birth. That wasn’t good enough I guess because he said it would be a “rushed job” and that he’s worried that he just wants to marry me because of the baby. My brother said I’m rushing things. Great.
We announced my pregnancy to our families on Thanksgiving. His family was so excited, my on the other hand, not so much. My mom’s sisters were happy but everyone else, mainly my uncles didn’t say a word. In fact, one of them sat next to me after we announced and asked if I was okay. I told him I was and asked if he was. Then, he asked if I was happy and I told him yes. He slow nodded and said, “Okay. I’m happy if you’re happy”. The crazy thing is, this uncle grew up with my SO’s family and they’ve been close since he was a boy! Even my aunt said the family’s reaction was lukewarm. She chalked it up to the family not knowing my SO very well since he’s only been around the family a handful of times. That’s when I told her it would’ve been different if I was married first.
Today, my father wanted to chit chat. I figured it was about his will since he’s been working on it. Nope. It was to talk about us getting married. The first thing out of his mouth was, “So when is the wedding?”. I was confused because I’m in no shape to plan a wedding for 100+ people right now. I told him there’s no date for that. He said he was confused because he asked for his blessing and said again, that he wished that I was married beforehand. That he doesn’t want him marrying me just because I’m pregnant and to leave me high and dry as a single mother. I reminded him that we planned on being legally married before the baby gets here. Then he wanted to know the date for that. I told him we hadn’t picked a date and we just planned on a no muss, no fuss getting the license and before an officiant just the two of us then a year after the baby we’d having an actual wedding. He said that he and my brother need to be there because he wants to see his daughter get married. I was speaking with my aunt and she said it’s normal for someone to wonder if we’re getting married just because of the baby. Is it at my age?
This whole thing feels like a cluster-f. I’m sure a part of this is due to my hormones but it’s all making me sad and feeling lonely. Most of my family isn’t happy, and my mom not being here makes it feel even lonelier. I was happier before other people knew. None of this would be happening if I was married first…