Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've dealt with two parents who had dementia. We were told that it's hard to get guardianship or conservatorship, but maybe others have found otherwise. We also have found it's not necessary. My siblings and I have POA and a lot of their assets are in a trust and we are the trustees.

Does your parent still have access to their bank accounts though?
My brother had to get guardianship of my dad when he started getting scammed. Most of his assets were in investments or other more secure things, but he did have a regular bank account with a little over $31,000 in it. A scammer convinced him to pull out $31,000 in cash and hand it over to a stranger.
After that my brother was able to get a doctor to sign off.

No, they don’t have access. I took parent’s checks and credit card so they don’t have those either. Their AL does not have a secure spot to keep financial items.

My parent has always been suspicious of being scammed. I can’t be sure but think that suspicion about being scammed will be the last thing to go because it is so hard wired.

This parent never used the internet or email at home.

No one can access the investments without the FA being involved.

Parent has a trust for some accounts. I am main trustee, and sibling is backup. We also share a some bank accounts with all of our names on them. Sibling could legally steal from that but I hope to move all that to a trust account soon.

OP

Anonymous wrote:I've dealt with two parents who had dementia. We were told that it's hard to get guardianship or conservatorship, but maybe others have found otherwise. We also have found it's not necessary. My siblings and I have POA and a lot of their assets are in a trust and we are the trustees.

Does your parent still have access to their bank accounts though?
My brother had to get guardianship of my dad when he started getting scammed. Most of his assets were in investments or other more secure things, but he did have a regular bank account with a little over $31,000 in it. A scammer convinced him to pull out $31,000 in cash and hand it over to a stranger.
After that my brother was able to get a doctor to sign off.

I've dealt with two parents who had dementia. We were told that it's hard to get guardianship or conservatorship, but maybe others have found otherwise. We also have found it's not necessary. My siblings and I have POA and a lot of their assets are in a trust and we are the trustees.

Anonymous wrote:Mentally ill sibling steeling is different from being scammed. If the finances are locked down, and parent(s) with dementia cannot access them (doesn't have the password), their credit is locked and they don't have access to credit cards, I think you are ok.

That’s true they are different and good to know an outsider can’t do much at this point.

Sibling is a concern though.

Mentally ill sibling steeling is different from being scammed. If the finances are locked down, and parent(s) with dementia cannot access them (doesn't have the password), their credit is locked and they don't have access to credit cards, I think you are ok.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's the thing about guardianship. It is court supervised so you will have to make reports to the court. It's so easy for someone to challenge your decisions in court. But, if you would feel more comfortable, you will need doctors to sign off on incompetence - some states require two doctors. Once you have that, I think the application process is pretty easy.

It’s not easy for someone to challenge it. The report is mostly financial. Keep the receipts and fill out the form. It wasn’t hard at all. You need two doctors and court will assign the person and attorney. It was a five minute hearing.

Yo are right that it’s the financials that the court is primarily interested in. But you’re incorrect about the ease of making a challenge. It is seriously the easiest court filings I have ever made.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's the thing about guardianship. It is court supervised so you will have to make reports to the court. It's so easy for someone to challenge your decisions in court. But, if you would feel more comfortable, you will need doctors to sign off on incompetence - some states require two doctors. Once you have that, I think the application process is pretty easy.

Okay. Thank you.

I have a sign off from two medical professionals, one a doctor and one a nurse. I needed this in order to sell the house.

The real estate agent said having a person with dementia sign would be too risky. It’s weird, though, that she could theoretically change her will at this point and give all her money to a stranger but was not even allowed to sell her own home.

I worry my sibling will try to change the will because she stole some items from the house that we were supposed to divide up.

OP



OP

Depending on your state you might need two doctors for guardianship. If you can, I’d get the second sign off from a doctor now so you have really good documentation of the will is changed or challenged. And if you can be sure you know where the will is.

Anonymous wrote:Here's the thing about guardianship. It is court supervised so you will have to make reports to the court. It's so easy for someone to challenge your decisions in court. But, if you would feel more comfortable, you will need doctors to sign off on incompetence - some states require two doctors. Once you have that, I think the application process is pretty easy.

Okay. Thank you.

I have a sign off from two medical professionals, one a doctor and one a nurse. I needed this in order to sell the house.

The real estate agent said having a person with dementia sign would be too risky. It’s weird, though, that she could theoretically change her will at this point and give all her money to a stranger but was not even allowed to sell her own home.

I worry my sibling will try to change the will because she stole some items from the house that we were supposed to divide up.

OP



OP

Anonymous wrote:Here's the thing about guardianship. It is court supervised so you will have to make reports to the court. It's so easy for someone to challenge your decisions in court. But, if you would feel more comfortable, you will need doctors to sign off on incompetence - some states require two doctors. Once you have that, I think the application process is pretty easy.

It’s not easy for someone to challenge it. The report is mostly financial. Keep the receipts and fill out the form. It wasn’t hard at all. You need two doctors and court will assign the person and attorney. It was a five minute hearing.

Here's the thing about guardianship. It is court supervised so you will have to make reports to the court. It's so easy for someone to challenge your decisions in court. But, if you would feel more comfortable, you will need doctors to sign off on incompetence - some states require two doctors. Once you have that, I think the application process is pretty easy.

Yes, we did it ourselves and it was scarry easy. The court talked us how to do it. I wish we did it sooner as the nursing home as scummy and took over the social security without telling us and was threatening us every time we didn't agree with them/questioned them. It strengthened our position where they couldn't question us (we did it for my MIL and were joint guardians). It made every much easier.

If guardianship would give you peace of mind then do it. I think you have enough locked down that you'll honestly be fine, but if it would help you sleep at night then I think it's worth it to do it for your own sake. Cheers to you for taking all this on, OP. It's a lot to juggle when your plate is already full.

Anonymous wrote:If you already have their finances under control and they dont have access to them, and there is not other family disputing you, its not necessary. You should have POA however. which is much simpler than guardianship.

Yes, I have POA. I have a difficult and mentally ill sibling, which is my main concern.

If you already have their finances under control and they dont have access to them, and there is not other family disputing you, its not necessary. You should have POA however. which is much simpler than guardianship.

I’ve heard horror stories of people with dementia getting scammed.

Is it a good idea to seek guardianship through the court? If so, how would we go about that?

I already handle all their taxes, bills, bank accounts, and medical care. I also sold their house for them and will soon sell their car. I’m also in the midst of doing their “homebound” application to replace their driver’s license with an ID card.

They can’t do any of the above on their own.