Prozac is for anxiety and has side effect of making many kids gain weight. That could be helpful here.

There is also a drug that increases appetite you could look into.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she on any medication?

No. Hesitant to do so for many reasons. Worries it will suppress her appetite even more. She doesn’t experience hunger as it is and has fallen off the growth curve.

She also may have a heart condition that would be exacerbated by any stimulants.

She’s also still very young and hasn’t hit puberty yet, so I’m wary of putting anything in her system before she even hits her key growth stage.

Stimulants are for ADHD. Anxiety is treated with an SSRI or an SNRI. I’m not a Dr so I won’t say they can’t impact appetitive but I have 2 kids on anxiety meds and it’s never impacted their appetites.

Wow people are extra judgmental here. OP I’m sorry she’s struggling so much.

She’s in 8th grade, so grades don’t matter. I’d talk to the school and see if you can have teachers hold on HW for her for a few months. Or very limited, like 3 math problems, a time limit etc.

This is a mental health (and disorders eating, so physical as well) crisis. Doing pre-Algebra problems simple doesn’t matter.

Get her out of homework and into therapy

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to take away her laptop each evening. Make a limit and after x hours take it. She needs medication.

Yes DH and I agree taking it away is the next step.

Taking away the laptop and phone in the evening should have been the FIRST step!

Noted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to take away her laptop each evening. Make a limit and after x hours take it. She needs medication.

Yes DH and I agree taking it away is the next step.

Taking away the laptop and phone in the evening should have been the FIRST step!

Anonymous wrote:I posted recently about school vs private evaluation about our 8th grader.

Our biggest issue right now is that our child’s denial and opposition to anything and everything we say, and the fact that she keeps getting into a spiral with the amount of time she spends on homework. She stays up til past 11, wakes at 5, she’s not eating or sleeping properly.

And now that she feels betrayed that we shared her struggles with the school and an outside service provider, she’s being very secretive about it to hide how much she’s on her computer doing homework. It’s affecting her health, both physical and mental. She’s not keeping up with any of the basic family expectations (like helping to set the table and clean up after) and she has zero social connections outside of school. I feel like I’ve exhausted every strategy and approach.

She’s also been flagged repeatedly by her pediatrician for falling off the growth curve so she’s simply not eating enough calories to grow. We’ve been following up with specialists on that issue which she is also extremely angry about, and denies there’s an issue and is basically accusing us of torturing her with unnecessary tests. She sees all of this as a literal horror story of people torturing her when nothing is wrong with her.

I’m at my wit’s end. What else can we do? Trying so hard not to get into a power struggle with her, but I feel this is becoming such a serious issue and our gentle approach has NOT been effective in any way.

As a mom, it’s really hard to see our child go down this path and not know how to help.

Correct. Your "gentle approach has NOT been effective in any way", and you let her spiral further and allowed too much time go go past.

Grow up. Be a parent. Take away the laptop, get her medication. Don't wring your hands in helpless despair because your CHILD doesn't know what a healthy routine looks like or her own limitations regarding devices.

This is your fault.

Anonymous wrote:Is she on any medication?

No. Hesitant to do so for many reasons. Worries it will suppress her appetite even more. She doesn’t experience hunger as it is and has fallen off the growth curve.

She also may have a heart condition that would be exacerbated by any stimulants.

She’s also still very young and hasn’t hit puberty yet, so I’m wary of putting anything in her system before she even hits her key growth stage.

Anonymous wrote:You have to take away her laptop each evening. Make a limit and after x hours take it. She needs medication.

Yes DH and I agree taking it away is the next step.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Has she been screened for anxiety? Not a dr, but sounds like anxiety is in play here.

I was going to say, this sounds like OCD. Look up Natasha Daniels. She has lots of content for parents and kids about the types of OCD and how to treat it.

I don’t think it rises to the level of ocd. I think it’s more perfectionism and a compulsion to do everything her way, perfectly. There is no reasoning with her. It’s like she literally doesn’t see any other option and is unable to do it any differently. No matter how much we try to guide her through prioritizing.

Is she on any medication?

You have to take away her laptop each evening. Make a limit and after x hours take it. She needs medication.

Anonymous wrote: Has she been screened for anxiety? Not a dr, but sounds like anxiety is in play here.

I was going to say, this sounds like OCD. Look up Natasha Daniels. She has lots of content for parents and kids about the types of OCD and how to treat it.

Anonymous wrote: Has she been screened for anxiety? Not a dr, but sounds like anxiety is in play here.

Yes she 100 percent has anxiety. We don’t need a test to tell us that.

When we consulted with a child psychologist 3 years ago, that was her take as well.

We’ve talked about the issue with both her school and the private service provider.

Ultimately we have decided to do both evaluations.

Has she been screened for anxiety? Not a dr, but sounds like anxiety is in play here.

I posted recently about school vs private evaluation about our 8th grader.

Our biggest issue right now is that our child’s denial and opposition to anything and everything we say, and the fact that she keeps getting into a spiral with the amount of time she spends on homework. She stays up til past 11, wakes at 5, she’s not eating or sleeping properly.

And now that she feels betrayed that we shared her struggles with the school and an outside service provider, she’s being very secretive about it to hide how much she’s on her computer doing homework. It’s affecting her health, both physical and mental. She’s not keeping up with any of the basic family expectations (like helping to set the table and clean up after) and she has zero social connections outside of school. I feel like I’ve exhausted every strategy and approach.

She’s also been flagged repeatedly by her pediatrician for falling off the growth curve so she’s simply not eating enough calories to grow. We’ve been following up with specialists on that issue which she is also extremely angry about, and denies there’s an issue and is basically accusing us of torturing her with unnecessary tests. She sees all of this as a literal horror story of people torturing her when nothing is wrong with her.

I’m at my wit’s end. What else can we do? Trying so hard not to get into a power struggle with her, but I feel this is becoming such a serious issue and our gentle approach has NOT been effective in any way.

As a mom, it’s really hard to see our child go down this path and not know how to help.