Anonymous wrote:IMO the optics are bad for him to take off 16 weeks paid, but he’s entitled to it so might as well take it.

Also if more people start taking what they are entitled to, it normalizes it for everyone else.

I realize there are limits to this logic, but I still think it is important to consider.

I am late 30s with young kids and I would absolutely encourage anyone to take all of their time regardless of any leave time they’re entitled to, like parental leave.

I would hope you’d be thoughtful (enough) where reasonable - November is my industry’s “crunch month” so if you’re f’ing off and leaving people in the lurch because you want to burn your time - it will work against you from the higher ups. I’m not saying I agree with it, but I think it’s fair to examine your culture with clear eyes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well it's assumed that you'd use up all your vacation time before parental leave starts - in fact I think that might even be a requirement at my company.

I'm the 16:28 poster. This is definitely not standard. Not true at either my company or my husband's company.

If you are taking FMLA it is pretty standard. No paid leave where I work. First they take all your vacation days, then sick days, then you are unpaid.

Yeah, that’s awful but I know it’s common.

I think where people have paid parental leave, it is common to retain vacation days. Whether it’s frowned upon would depend on the company culture. Not frowned upon at my place or work or my spouse’s.

This. Where my DH and I work this would be fine. We've done it, others have done it, no big deal. But I know people who work at companies where they felt uncomfortable even taking all of their parental leave, let alone vacation in the same year.

Yes, but our whole capitalist system pits us against each other so f ‘em. Live your life.

IMO the optics are bad for him to take off 16 weeks paid, but he’s entitled to it so might as well take it.

Have him use the use or lose and carry the rest over.

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have both taken 16 weeks paid paternity leave for the birth of our son. My husband has 21 vacations days. Technically I know they must allow him to take it. We'd like to take some vacation this Summer but I wonder if the optics are bad after him being off for 4 months?

Your colleagues hate you

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well it's assumed that you'd use up all your vacation time before parental leave starts - in fact I think that might even be a requirement at my company.

I'm the 16:28 poster. This is definitely not standard. Not true at either my company or my husband's company.

If you are taking FMLA it is pretty standard. No paid leave where I work. First they take all your vacation days, then sick days, then you are unpaid.

Yeah, that’s awful but I know it’s common.

I think where people have paid parental leave, it is common to retain vacation days. Whether it’s frowned upon would depend on the company culture. Not frowned upon at my place or work or my spouse’s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well it's assumed that you'd use up all your vacation time before parental leave starts - in fact I think that might even be a requirement at my company.

I'm the 16:28 poster. This is definitely not standard. Not true at either my company or my husband's company.

+1 That's not standard at my job. Also, to answer the OP question, at my job they always encourage you to use your PTO by the end of the year, even if you've parental leave. You should probably ask trusted colleagues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well it's assumed that you'd use up all your vacation time before parental leave starts - in fact I think that might even be a requirement at my company.

I'm the 16:28 poster. This is definitely not standard. Not true at either my company or my husband's company.

If you are taking FMLA it is pretty standard. No paid leave where I work. First they take all your vacation days, then sick days, then you are unpaid.

That's frowned upon.

Anonymous wrote:Well it's assumed that you'd use up all your vacation time before parental leave starts - in fact I think that might even be a requirement at my company.

I'm the 16:28 poster. This is definitely not standard. Not true at either my company or my husband's company.

At my company and my husband's company, people generally still take all their vacation, and there's no stigma or anything. My husband's company will not let you take vacation directly adjacent to parental leave (so he couldn't use two weeks vacation to extend his parental leave from 16 weeks to 18 weeks) but that's explicitly stated in the handbook. My company often has people extend parental leave by a week or two with vacation time.

The one thing I would think is a dick move is to take more than a day or two the month you're back or the month before you leave (absent medical appointments/baby related concerns). It'd be kind crappy to come back for two weeks and then go on a week long vacation. But beyond that, take what you're given!

Oh and another note - doesn't apply to either of us, but at some companies, you don't accrue vacation time when you're out on parental leave. So, if you get 4 months parental leave, and in general you get 15 vacation days a year, the year you're out on parental leave you would only get 10 vacation days. So that's something to look out for.

Well it's assumed that you'd use up all your vacation time before parental leave starts - in fact I think that might even be a requirement at my company.

My husband and I have both taken 16 weeks paid paternity leave for the birth of our son. My husband has 21 vacations days. Technically I know they must allow him to take it. We'd like to take some vacation this Summer but I wonder if the optics are bad after him being off for 4 months?