Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 05:40     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
Anonymous wrote:My husband expects that we spend every Christmas Eve with his family. It's been 11 years since I've been able to be at home on Christmas Eve doing what I want to do - which is reading a book, drinking hot chocolate, and watching It's A Wonderful Life.

We have a six-year-old, and he has to do the "family tour"; see his grandma and cousins for their quarterly gathering. I'm not fond of my in-laws for several reasons, but I really want to spend Christmas Eve at home, by myself, in peace. Is this too much to ask DH?


You want to read a book by yourself, DH wants to be with his family and kid probably wants to do be with cousins. Why can't everybody do what they want?
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 04:29     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
How long is the visit with the in laws? Dinner or overnight?
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 01:49     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
Anonymous wrote:Can you stay back while they travel


Ridiculous suggestion.

OP, tell your DH you’d like to change the tradition and stay home for Christmas.

Most people like to be in their own homes, especially when you have your kids and Santa is a big deal. He should understand.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 00:46     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you spend Christmas Day at home alone?

It is pretty normal to see family over Christmas and sincemany people want Christmas morning at home they often visit on Christmas Eve or the afternoon on Christmas day.


Yes! We spend Christmas at home as a family. My family lives in Canada so I only see them about twice per year, but I am expected to spend every major holiday with my inlaws and am tired of it.


Does your husband come with you and use his vacation time to visit your family? Or do you go alone? Taking two trips a year and all that PTO to go to another country seems like more of a commitment to your family than holidays with his.


OP here - no they live in Toronto. I usually leave on a Friday and come back on Monday, so I use about 4 PTO days/year of my 24 days. DS usually comes with me.

I can't remember the last time DH came with me, sometimes my parents will come down here versus me going there and will stay with us Friday - Monday. DH works in the commercial fishing industry and is gone for months at a time.


Aw, that's not much time with your family. Why not stay longer in Canada?
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 00:30     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you spend Christmas Day at home alone?

It is pretty normal to see family over Christmas and sincemany people want Christmas morning at home they often visit on Christmas Eve or the afternoon on Christmas day.


Yes! We spend Christmas at home as a family. My family lives in Canada so I only see them about twice per year, but I am expected to spend every major holiday with my inlaws and am tired of it.


Does your husband come with you and use his vacation time to visit your family? Or do you go alone? Taking two trips a year and all that PTO to go to another country seems like more of a commitment to your family than holidays with his.


OP here - no they live in Toronto. I usually leave on a Friday and come back on Monday, so I use about 4 PTO days/year of my 24 days. DS usually comes with me.

I can't remember the last time DH came with me, sometimes my parents will come down here versus me going there and will stay with us Friday - Monday. DH works in the commercial fishing industry and is gone for months at a time.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 00:29     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
Anonymous wrote:Op here - sorry, they are local, about 20 minutes away.


In that case can you shorten your time with the inlaws and be at home for more of the evening.Start some traditions for your own nuclear family...maybe hot cocoa and a family movie or a special meal you prepare with your child.

See you inlaws during the day but have family time I home too.

I would feel the way you do, op. I hope you can get a better balance.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 00:25     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you spend Christmas Day at home alone?

It is pretty normal to see family over Christmas and sincemany people want Christmas morning at home they often visit on Christmas Eve or the afternoon on Christmas day.


Yes! We spend Christmas at home as a family. My family lives in Canada so I only see them about twice per year, but I am expected to spend every major holiday with my inlaws and am tired of it.


Does your husband come with you and use his vacation time to visit your family? Or do you go alone? Taking two trips a year and all that PTO to go to another country seems like more of a commitment to your family than holidays with his.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 00:23     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
I think you're coming down with something. You'll have to stay home. So sorry!
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 00:23     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
Op here - sorry, they are local, about 20 minutes away.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 00:23     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
Why not pick another evening to have as your Winter holiday eve where you read a book, drink hot chocolate, and watch It's A Wonderful Life. You could do that on the 23rd or 25th or 26th etc.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 00:23     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
Anonymous wrote:Do you spend Christmas Day at home alone?

It is pretty normal to see family over Christmas and sincemany people want Christmas morning at home they often visit on Christmas Eve or the afternoon on Christmas day.


Yes! We spend Christmas at home as a family. My family lives in Canada so I only see them about twice per year, but I am expected to spend every major holiday with my inlaws and am tired of it.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 00:22     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
Can you stay back while they travel
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 00:22     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
Do you spend Christmas Day at home alone?

It is pretty normal to see family over Christmas and sincemany people want Christmas morning at home they often visit on Christmas Eve or the afternoon on Christmas day.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 00:21     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
Are they local or do you travel?
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2025 00:18     Subject: Annoyed with spending every Christmas Eve with my inlaws.
My husband expects that we spend every Christmas Eve with his family. It's been 11 years since I've been able to be at home on Christmas Eve doing what I want to do - which is reading a book, drinking hot chocolate, and watching It's A Wonderful Life.

We have a six-year-old, and he has to do the "family tour"; see his grandma and cousins for their quarterly gathering. I'm not fond of my in-laws for several reasons, but I really want to spend Christmas Eve at home, by myself, in peace. Is this too much to ask DH?