If you want some ideas or some inspiration, I recommend looking at Hey Mrs. Solomom’s instagram account (she’s in her 50s). She also has a great Substack.

I'm the opposite rn. I'm pretty low key, but I have a desire to dress better rn. I just bought a bunch of dresses for Black Friday since we got out a lot -- and I normally wear jeans and a blazer. Who knows if I'll return everything -- LOL.

I WFH and 52.

You can find good things but retail prices are insane. Anything affordable is fast fashion. I buy the best things I can consignment or thrifting. I too am 45 and feel frumpy but don’t feel like I can get away with wearing crap anymore. My waist is thicker and I look tired. My outfit needs to be a little better.

Clothing is terrible now. Abjectly terrible.

Yes, 1000x yes. I used to love shopping for clothes and fashion in general. Now I just find myself dressing for comfort and only occasionally stepping it up. I have no explanation, it just is.

This thread title - A++++

As for the sentiment, I understand.

Agree that it’s because clothes are so crap now. But great title. Maybe double check with your doctor on your iron levels or do a depression screen. It’s also working from home is awesome but it’s hard to exit the cocoon. Good clothing can help you generate life force, for lack of a better term.

I'm 57 and still love clothes and dressing up. I'm more frustrated at how much harder it is to find well-made clothes these days. For a night out last weekend, I pulled out a pair of black velvet Theory trousers that I bought in the 00s . . . the fit is amazing, and the fabric is beautiful. I'd be hard pressed to find something like that off the rack right now, and I wish I had saved more stuff like that over the years.

It's not as rewarding for you at this period.

This could be a blessing. I think lots of women in their 20s are focused on their appearance in a way that can be unhealthy. This also happens with subsets of women in their 40s, with plastic surgery in the mix, and it can become very stressful.

What gives you a buzz these days?

Honest perspective: I've found that many women in their 40s get into interior decision, then in their 50s, they get into gardening. I don't know why.

I care about neither of those things, but I understand the appeal.

Anonymous wrote:Excellent title, OP!

Title was great. But the post was too long and meandering so I didn’t make it through the OP.

I don't work and I dress well just for myself, OP. I'm 45 and reject the expectations you are talking about.

I, too, suffer from MSE.

Excellent title, OP!

Oh heck yea OP.

Anyone else have this? I used to love clothes and fashion so much -- it was an easy way for me to boost and maintain my mood. I've always been a budget shopper so there was game aspect of it too, creating the looks I wanted and finding quality items for less.

I dress sooooooo boring now. I miss that feeling I used to get about a cute outfit. But also: my job is full time remote and most of my calls aren't even on screen so I don't dress for the office at all anymore. DH and I have regular date nights but I have a hard time getting excited about dressing for these even, I don't know why.

I think part of it is that I stopped wanted attention? Like I think I avoid wearing cute things now because I almost do not want to draw attention to myself by putting that kind of effort in? It feels embarrassing somehow. I can't tell if this is coming from me and just feeling like a more private person, or if I've internalized some BS about being a middle aged woman and how I'm "supposed" to dress. I do feel like a lot of the moms at my kids' school just dress sort of invisibly, and maybe I'm subconsciously buying into that. But then some people dress well and I always admire that so why don't I internalize the way those women dress instead.

I don't know, I'm rambling. I am trying to plan some outfits for upcoming events and just feeling so blah about it. Maybe I just don't like how I look anymore. I truly have no idea. Can anyone else relate to this? I'm 45 fwiw.