OP you are very nice.

My mother died two months ago I am relieved I never have to deal with her shit again.

I'm in my sixties haven't spoken to her for about 10 years should have done that sooner.

You did good! I know it was difficult hemming and hawing about sending the text or not. I know I hem and haw about calling on my mom's birthday as it *always* ends up extremely unpleasant. I laugh about these comments about "bare minimum": yeah, you'd do that too if every time you call a bucket of s*t is thrown at you no matter what. Even sending a text can trigger calls and voicemails which are better left unanswered. Be glad you're not in this situation.

Anonymous wrote:Wow this is a really low bar for the minimum thing to do. If I were your mother I would jump off a bridge.

The bolded is correct, but then the mother probably doesn't deserve anything more. OP sent the greeting that her mother deserves, which is normal and not anything to celebrate or criticize. It is what it is.

Anonymous wrote:Wow this is a really low bar for the minimum thing to do. If I were your mother I would jump off a bridge.

Barring physical abuse, I agree this is a really low bar. Probably makes your mom feel worse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this is a really low bar for the minimum thing to do. If I were your mother I would jump off a bridge.

Lol, such a troll response.

No I am not a troll. Sorry. Plenty of people deal with family members they don't like or get along with. Do you think other people live in an episode of a TV show? Is that how they manage it? No, they do not. Be a better person. There is nothing else.

Anonymous wrote:Wow this is a really low bar for the minimum thing to do. If I were your mother I would jump off a bridge.

Lol, such a troll response.

Wow this is a really low bar for the minimum thing to do. If I were your mother I would jump off a bridge.

Good for you, OP.

Happy birthday, I'm guessing.

If you guys don't get along, I understand why you did the absolute minimum, but I don't think she'll be that chuffed, since... it's the absolute minimum. So, you kept the status quo, I guess. Yeah...?

What is a HB text?

Good job, OP. I struggle with this a lot too, with both my parents. Some difficult things have transpired between us, but they are elderly and I do think of them, even if it's hard for me to spend time with them. I don't want them to think I don't care about their birthdays. But yes, most years a text is the best I can do and I'm proud of myself for doing that much.

I hope you get the response you’re hoping for, OP. Sounds like you erred in the side of being kind.

???

I am not on good terms with my mother, but I did send her a HB text at 8pm! I expect no response, but feel relieved I did it. Sigh! She is 79….so really sad.