Women in government go in and out of intense jobs frequently- spending a few years on the Hill or at the White House and then a few years back at home in a less stressful role. I have also done this- I worked in the Senate and now work from home. I think it's a decent way to balance. You already worked a less intense job and now you'll have some time to do a more intense job. It balances out

Jump on it! This will set you up nicely until you retire. Your kids should be proud of you!

Men do this all the time and never ask these questions. You will be fine.

As long as your husband is on board I do not see a problem. He becomes the default parent and all that it entails. There may be some bumps as he gets used to it

OP here. Thanks for the feedback. I guess to me my kids are still little even if they are growing up fast

This is good advice. One of my biggest challenges is probably that I travel a lot, and a lot of it is international. I try to be intentional, but it's a requirement of my job. Still trying to figure that out.

Anonymous wrote:I’m laughing at a 6th grader being considered a “little kid.”

Sure, kids still need their parents at these ages, but you’re not abandoning them, you’re just going to work. Perspective is key.

The only real concern would be facilitating activities and sports which can take a lot of time afterschool. It sounds like your husband can easily handle this since he works part time. You’ll still get plenty of time with your kids, you just won’t be directly involved in a lot of the drudgery. NBD

+1 to the bolded. Your DH now gets to buy toilet paper, make appointments, and chauffer them to practice.

Be intentional in showing up. Make sure you are there for the games and school stuff they want you there for.

My favorite aunt was a single mother, executive, and is STILL EVERYONE'S favorite. She loves children, and young people, and we all know it.

She did set boundaries at work, though. As an example, she and my cousin moved a few times. She was very clear that the move she made the summer before my cousin went to high school was the last one she would make until high school was over.

I did the same when my kids were in 1st and 3rd grade. It was super to see my kids start to ask DH to help them with daily tasks - and made them much closer over all - even ten years later. DH was happy to do it - and created a very tight bond with DD and DS.

But I would echo PP 4:50 - you'll need to work harder to see/hear your kids. Make time for them so it's clear they are the priority. My kids still remember the worst of my previous job - the long hours, the calls at home, the travel. Dedicating time to spend one-on-one and with the whole family was really important. In HS, I stepped back again and had a job much more flexible to be available when the kids were.

Just make sure that you step back in for key, memorable moments and listen to your kids when they say they need you. Also, when things slow down, recognize it. Don't get sucked into the thrill of the high profile job and dial back your time at work when it's less high pressure.

Your DH is now working minimal hours. Will he take up the slack?

I’m laughing at a 6th grader being considered a “little kid.”

Sure, kids still need their parents at these ages, but you’re not abandoning them, you’re just going to work. Perspective is key.

The only real concern would be facilitating activities and sports which can take a lot of time afterschool. It sounds like your husband can easily handle this since he works part time. You’ll still get plenty of time with your kids, you just won’t be directly involved in a lot of the drudgery. NBD

Go for it. You can always cut back if you need to. I think it’s good for kids to see their mom working and important, not catering to their every need.

Anonymous wrote:What’s the issue? Sounds like you have everything you wanted. Also 4th and 6th grade are not considered “little”.

They are when you’re 48!

Gender of the kids? Boys need their Father beginning at this age, more than Mom

What’s the issue? Sounds like you have everything you wanted. Also 4th and 6th grade are not considered “little”.

Not sure where best to post this, but looking for some stories of how things worked out.

I'm 48. Kids are in 4th and 6th grade. DH recently took a huge step back and works 10-15 hr/week with a lot of flexibility. In the last two years, my career has started taking off. New job with a huge promotion and a lot of professional opportunities. As much as I'd like to believe the opportunities will still be here in 10 years, I don't think they will in this way. But accepting them now means less time with my kids. It is a huge change for them (a positive one) to have him so much more involved. I was intentionally in less-intense, WAH jobs for a long time.

I think we have the right support and structure in place where putting my career a bit more ahead now would be okay, but I'm curious to hear from those who have BTDT.