It is sad but if you can pay you have an advantage no doubt about it, and the amount of those who can is more than you think. ED screams I can pay take me. Alternatively, ED screams I can pay because I will leverage my life to get it done.

“But we’re still likely to just pay full freight even then because if he applies to a reach school EA or ED we’ll say yes, right?”

This depends 100% on your priorities and your philosophy in life. I could theoretically afford to pay $80k/ year for one of my kids. But I chose to pay $80k for the whole degree. It’s a purchase like any other. Some chose a row house and walk to work, some opt for a larger home and a longer commute.

The only thing, be crystal clear with your kid about your intentions before he even starts considering ED. If you can afford to pay but are not inclined to, ED is a no go.

Welcome to the 2 fed, full pay club, OP!

How much money do you have? You really shouldn’t spend $400k per kid on college unless you have a very substantial retirement fund already. I think your networth should be at least $3M, maybe $5M, to spend that much on college.

Lots of parents restrict their kids on where they can go based on cost. It’s okay for them to go to Macalester for 60k vs. Amherst for 90k or Case Western for 50k vs. Vanderbilt for 100k. We don’t qualify for financial aid and we’re not letting our kids apply ED to schools. They’ll have to compare costs.

A bunch of the top schools don’t count primary home equity or retirement accounts. Run the NPC and see what they say.

Yeah, I regularly find myself wishing I won the lottery so I don’t have to be so stressed about paying for this (and other things). And then I remind myself that I already have won the lottery in the sense of having a job that makes it possible to be full pay even if it makes life more stressful. So yeah, accept the joy of being full pay.

If you’re not willing to send him to a school that offers merit, then yes, you’re right.

You could do lower tiered private that gives good merit aid.

My DC got $34K from Loyola Chicago which brought the price down to $40k. We could easily afford this - 1440 SAT, 3.7 unwgpa/4.5 wgpa.

But DC wants the big 10 that they got into which is $60K. No FA or merit aid. They will have to use some of their money from the grandparent's inheritance to pay for it, which they agreed to.

Pretty much. Thank you for saving! Without your discipline and frugality many free ride kids wouldn’t get the chance to attend the school.

What's your HHI?

Your choice to live where there's no viable in state option.

Rolling schools with merit

yep

So I started checking the net price calculators. We are both feds and have been for 20-plus years, with plenty of promotions. Own our little rowhouse. Almost paid off. 20 years of TSP. 2 kids, strictly DCPS. Old car, limited spending, lots of savings. No medical bills.

We’re gonna be at max for ability to pay even though we aren’t living in champagne and caviar. Right?

I just need to count my blessings right? We’ve had stability and ability to pay even if we aren’t living high on the hog. People with more precarious lives deserve the lower price. Right?

I guess merit aid is possible - first kid did great on PSAT. But we’re still likely to just pay full freight even then because if he applies to a reach school EA or ED we’ll say yes, right?