Do nothing. Let her figure out her tech life.

Anonymous wrote:I would think she managed to bluff her way through the dementia screening but that's a low bar. Not learning or retaining new skills is a red flag. She can use the storefronts because they are familiar to her.

This.

I'd drop the electronic stuff. My neighbor at 84 does not do email or order online or use portals and she has no interest in doing so.
She will drive out to a doctor's office to get paperwork handled.

Anonymous wrote:have her send you a picture of the screen. you can mark it up -- "enter user name here" -- and send it back.

This concept frustrates her too much. She takes twenty minutes to send one picture, and then she claims she’s too stressed to continue.

Anonymous wrote:That sucks, OP. I hear you. I once spent over an hour trying to explain to my father the difference between a home page and a browser and it was one of the most frustrating conversations of my life ("What browser do you use?" "The New York Times" Aaarrrgghh).

I would advise her not to use a medical portal. She should just call doctor's offices as needed. I almost never use my kid's because I find it irritating, so I just call. Certainly an older person has that option.

Use similar work arounds for other things. Just keep her off it for anything you can't fix in, say, 10 minutes.

I assume you're not local? Is there any local family? I could see this as a GREAT assignment for a teen or 20 something local family member or family friend who could get $25 an hour from you to go over there and help her as needed. Someone else she trusts.

Thanks so much for the commiseration! To answer your question, no, and there is no one else she would allow.

I mean I despise all the medical portals. I can deal with my own, but the ones for kids where it is unclear if my husband or I set it up, if he changed the password, etc, honestly I just don’t deal with them. Have her call the doctor.

Don't know if this will help, but...

https://seniorplanet.org/tech-help/ A wonderful resource for seniors. Also has good videos. She can find articles about using medical portals there.
Senior planet is now owned by AARP.

Also any colleges near her? Our local graduate CS program has a "community service club" and it provides tech help for seniors. They offer open hours about 6 times a year. You go and get matched with a PhD candidate in CS who walks you through things---you can stay about 2 hours. Some of the students are better than others.

Many public libraries also have an "adult librarian" whose job duties include explaining tech to seniors. Senior centers often have tech helpers too.

Anonymous wrote:I would think she managed to bluff her way through the dementia screening but that's a low bar. Not learning or retaining new skills is a red flag. She can use the storefronts because they are familiar to her.

I agree. I insisted that my father take the Montreal Cognitive test (same one that Trump used), and he passed it with flying colors, despite having been in cognitive decline for a few years.

Anonymous wrote:Find a Geek Squad type service near her and tell her to set up with them. They can physically walk her through it.

She will absolutely not let a “stranger” have her passwords and login info. I could explain six ways to Sunday that they aren’t going to steal her info, but it’s no use.

I would think she managed to bluff her way through the dementia screening but that's a low bar. Not learning or retaining new skills is a red flag. She can use the storefronts because they are familiar to her.

have her send you a picture of the screen. you can mark it up -- "enter user name here" -- and send it back.

That sucks, OP. I hear you. I once spent over an hour trying to explain to my father the difference between a home page and a browser and it was one of the most frustrating conversations of my life ("What browser do you use?" "The New York Times" Aaarrrgghh).

I would advise her not to use a medical portal. She should just call doctor's offices as needed. I almost never use my kid's because I find it irritating, so I just call. Certainly an older person has that option.

Use similar work arounds for other things. Just keep her off it for anything you can't fix in, say, 10 minutes.

I assume you're not local? Is there any local family? I could see this as a GREAT assignment for a teen or 20 something local family member or family friend who could get $25 an hour from you to go over there and help her as needed. Someone else she trusts.

buy her an ipad then you can facetime and she can show you the screen

Ugh, I have flashbacks of trying to help my mother. Sorry, I don't have an answer for you. At least I can Facetime her, because she got Apple devices at my urging, and it makes it slightly easier. But none of this is good for my health - I can feel my blood pressure rise every time we get into such things.

Find a Geek Squad type service near her and tell her to set up with them. They can physically walk her through it.

I’m at my wits end with my mom and tech issues, mainly her basic usage of the internet. Somehow she can figure out how to order things from storefronts, but can’t figure out how to open her medical portal—I just spent twenty minutes walking her through entering her username and password, and she still couldn’t figure it out.

We are incompatible in that she’s a Samsung and I’m an Apple, so we can’t FaceTime. She also refuses to use any of the video chat apps I downloaded on her phone. So I have to try and walk her through steps blindly. She refuses to take a class, and doesn’t trust anyone else to help her.

She doesn’t understand the most basic of jargon, so helping her is difficult. Like just now, she adamant that she had logged into the portal, but when I asked her what she was seeing, she was clearly still on the browser home page.

It’s not a cognitive issue, she was literally just at the doctor for her annual checkup!

Whenever I try to help her, she says I’m “starting a fight” or “abusing her”. Sometimes I do raise my voice in frustration, but she’s not making it easy for me! I’m certainly not yelling at her, though.

Please, give me your advice!