Anonymous wrote:My mom lives 3 blocks from me and her grandchildren/great grandchildren and we see her twice a year for a total of 3 hours. She only calls when she wants to tell me something about herself and never asks how any of us are.

1 of my sister's She has no contact with at all for the past 20 years and has never met her 2 grandchildren. My other sister she speaks horrible of and sees/speaks to her once a year.

Now my brother her favorite child adopted a baby in July and she travels by train for 1 1/2 hours everywhere to stay the weekend with them.

My other 2 siblings live with her and shes either talking horribly about them or babying them.

How do you know she speaks horribly of everyone if you only talk to her 3hours per year? Does she spend those 3 hours talking shyt about everyone else?

My aunt’s husband left her for another woman when she was 6 months pregnant with their first child. They moved to another country and she never ever heard from him again. This was 50 years ago so the routes of communication were not easy. It doesn’t seem to have affected his life in any way as he is still with the same woman and they have several children and many grandchildren. It completely messed up my cousin emotionally though.

I think there’s a lot of undercurrent here. Not the same but I have two friends with toddlers nearby (my own is a teen). One of them I like babysitting for because their house is clean, their kid is easygoing, and it’s their first and I approve having at least one kid.
The other friend has two older kids, is mentally unstable but decided to have a third despite having no family support. She has a dog so the house is chaotic and smelly. The kid is quite attached to her so it takes her a while to warm up to strangers. The one time I babysat the kid kept trying to get into older kids’ rooms (the doors were closed) instead of playing with me. I did try to engage her, I am good at it, but the older kids would pass through and she would run after them. The longest couple hours ever.

Anonymous wrote:My mom lives 3 blocks from me and her grandchildren/great grandchildren and we see her twice a year for a total of 3 hours. She only calls when she wants to tell me something about herself and never asks how any of us are.

1 of my sister's She has no contact with at all for the past 20 years and has never met her 2 grandchildren. My other sister she speaks horrible of and sees/speaks to her once a year.

Now my brother her favorite child adopted a baby in July and she travels by train for 1 1/2 hours everywhere to stay the weekend with them.

My other 2 siblings live with her and shes either talking horribly about them or babying them.

Why???

This is so sad

Maybe their favorite child does not have kids yet?

Or, in my parents case, they were of the opinion that adult children need to call and visit the parents, not the other way around.

My one brother was and still is like this. Saw our mom once every few years if he happened to pass through. Saw his kid once a year for a week until she was old enough to say no. A few years ago, like when his kid was around 37, he tried to start a relationship. They now see each other maybe 6 times a year for an afternoon but never for holidays. I do not get it at all. I used to feel sad for my mom but I kind of feel like she owns some of it. And I will never understand missing your child’s life. I never missed an important event for my niece but he made it to like 2 in her whole life.

I see my father often but my DS does not.
Grandpa barely saw his grandson 3-15, not much fault of his own, but now it’s hard for them to connect and I don’t want to do the work tbh.

My uncle but he's estranged from his kids.

My mom lives 3 blocks from me and her grandchildren/great grandchildren and we see her twice a year for a total of 3 hours. She only calls when she wants to tell me something about herself and never asks how any of us are.

1 of my sister's She has no contact with at all for the past 20 years and has never met her 2 grandchildren. My other sister she speaks horrible of and sees/speaks to her once a year.

Now my brother her favorite child adopted a baby in July and she travels by train for 1 1/2 hours everywhere to stay the weekend with them.

My other 2 siblings live with her and shes either talking horribly about them or babying them.

In the case I know, it’s the mom who is the issue. She had a terrible relationship with her own mother who didn’t help her, and seems to be passing the trait on. She has a decent relationship with her children but does not prioritize them, or her grandchildren

I do. But in the 2 cases I know, they have strained relationships with their parents. In one case (that I witnessed first hand many times), the mom was emotionally abusive throughout most of their childhood.

The other one was a prime example of people who should have separated instead of staying together for the kids. Both my friend and their sibling don't get along with their parents and have resentment towards them over the stressful environment they were raised in.

Anonymous wrote:They may not be welcomed guests.

And some people don't enjoy small kids.

They are welcomed.

Yes, I guess so. I do find it interesting and sad. I can’t wait for grandkids

They may not be welcomed guests.

And some people don't enjoy small kids.

Do you know anyone like this? I do and it’s so odd to me.

They live in different states and see each other once every year or two at most. Meanwhile the parent(s) travel regularly for pleasure, just not to see their kids and grandkids.

No Xmas no Thanksgiving birthdays summer vacations etc