What about an AUHD kid who wants to make connections but is easily overwhelmed or nervous so retreats to playing video games because it’s safer

This is my kid. She ended up at UMD and I was worried about how huge it is. She's thriving. I worried about freshman dorms but she was just fine. And as a sophomore, she's in a very-close-to-campus dorm-like apartment where she has a single room in a four bedroom apt and I think she loves it there.

Anonymous wrote:Many introverted kids like mine prefer the large state scene. More places to go . More of a “something for everyone” mentality. I think it depends a bit on how introverted, however. I have a quasi introvert who values close friendships and was dead set opposed to a SLAC.

+2

Small schools like LACs can be a tough environment for an introvert. Cliques form quickly. Being left out on a small, isolated campus can lead to a miserable college experience.

Large schools--whether public or private--have a much larger and more varied scene both with respect to academic and to social options; something for everyone even if one prefers moments of anonymity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many introverted kids like mine prefer the large state scene. More places to go . More of a “something for everyone” mentality.

Totally disagree with the quoted text - and I am an introvert. Quoted text is how extroverts feel. Large numbers of people nearby increases stress for most introverts. Perhaps read the book Quiet?

DP. Sometimes a large, busier environment makes it easier to feel anonymous and blend in, which can feel comforting for an introvert. As long as they have a space to retreat to. Introverts aren’t all the same.

Anonymous wrote:Many introverted kids like mine prefer the large state scene. More places to go . More of a “something for everyone” mentality.

Totally disagree with the quoted text - and I am an introvert. Quoted text is how extroverts feel. Large numbers of people nearby increases stress for most introverts. Perhaps read the book Quiet?

I’m worried SLACs can be cliquey and if you’re out of state it will be hard to find a group.

But then in a big public most kids are from in state too.

Anonymous wrote:Many introverted kids like mine prefer the large state scene. More places to go . More of a “something for everyone” mentality. I think it depends a bit on how introverted, however. I have a quasi introvert who values close friendships and was dead set opposed to a SLAC.

+1
It seems counterintuitive, but a large state school can be great for introverts. Mine found himself being swept up in all the fun from day one with people in the dorm. I was stunned by how much he had "blossomed" when he came home for the first break. He found so many like-minded people to hang with and endless club opportunities. I definitely don't think he would have found this to be true at a SLAC.

SLACs for me and my kids

Kid number 1 has completely broken out of his shell since attending a large public. Working through multiple bureaucracies like a health clinic appointment, registering and tryouts for club sport, meeting with advisors in 3 departments (major and 2 minors), withdrawing from honors program and visiting multiple 500+ unit apartment buildings to determine preferred off campus housing. Dealing with bureaucracy is a part of life and he is getting a head start.

Mid sized private—big enough to find people but not overwhelmingly massive. I think this is where the “fit” conversation comes in—DC selected a nerdy school and they feel very comfortable in that social scene.

Many introverted kids like mine prefer the large state scene. More places to go . More of a “something for everyone” mentality. I think it depends a bit on how introverted, however. I have a quasi introvert who values close friendships and was dead set opposed to a SLAC.

I would recommend SLAC. My kid is pretty extroverted and they found it exhausting to make a close friend group at a large state school. It took a weeks and weeks of: "hey, would you like to grab coffee?" and then introducing new friends to each other. Lather, rinse and repeat. A few months later and they had a great group but I'm not sure they could have done this if they were super introverted.

Mid size private university

For my kid, an SLAC. Much easier adjustment to a small, friendly campus. Feeling comfortable made it easier for him to warm up socially. At a big school, he would have been lost.

Who is slow to warm up to people.

A big public university? A SLAC?

Please, share.