Anonymous wrote:I knew a woman like that in the Army. She could always enlist.

No onger true.

Anonymous wrote:I knew a woman like that in the Army. She could always enlist.

Not if they take ADHD meds or have Epipen-requiring allergies. My son checks both boxes. He mentioned this to the Army recruiter who called him when he was a senior, and the recruiter told him he was not eligible.

Yeah, it depends on what she needs, as others have said, and where you live. Like if she gets $$ disability money, her healthcare might cover a companion or health aide. In some areas there are day programs where she could go for classes/fun/companionship. Some insurances offer drivers to medical/therapy appts. Again depends on the need. Please say if she just needs a buddy or needs safety or a health aide.

Maybe it is time for her to gain some independence and move into a supportive living environment. I don’t know what age she functions at but getting to be in a house with other young adults and a team who will supervise and work on life skills can be a great next step.

Anonymous wrote:I knew a woman like that in the Army. She could always enlist.

NO, even if they made it in, they would be dishonorably discharged if they could hack it. Why would you suggest this? Were you ever active duty? Its a very hard life (retired enlisted family).

Anonymous wrote:I knew a woman like that in the Army. She could always enlist.

No she likely cannot. Please stop suggesting the military anytime someone mentions a child with special needs. The minimum ASVAB score is a 31 for high school grads, and a 50 for a GED holder. It’s not an exact equivalent but the 31 is somewhat around a 92 IQ. Not to mention that certain diagnoses and medications are disqualifying, and someone who has trouble with certain executive functioning tasks and following instructions would likely never make it out of basic training or any sort of training.

Yes, I would be happy to hear more details on the SN forum, OP. My 20 year old is currently in living on his own for the first time in his life, abroad, for a semester, in a study abroad program. 10 years I would have laughed in your face if you'd told me he would be able to do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she live with you? Does she need supervision so she doesn't turn on the stove and walk away, or because she complains she's lonely?

Is there a dx?

+1. You should post this on the special needs forum. There’s been many threads on care for adult children.

+1. And the Special Needs forum is kind. Usually

Yes, an executive function coach. My 31-year-old autistic, ADHD/Anxiety kid has one only because she cratered when she moved from family and college supports to trying to live and work on her own. I can post her stats if interested. But there are many of them. We pay for it - not cheap.

Anonymous wrote:Does she live with you? Does she need supervision so she doesn't turn on the stove and walk away, or because she complains she's lonely?

Is there a dx?

+1. You should post this on the special needs forum. There’s been many threads on care for adult children.

I made my difficult 14 year old get a job. It worked wonders. He was under adult supervision and was paid for it.

I knew a woman like that in the Army. She could always enlist.

A group home might be a good fit for her.

Does she live with you? Does she need supervision so she doesn't turn on the stove and walk away, or because she complains she's lonely?

Is there a dx?

I think we have run into a wall with our 20 yo girl

We can't supervise her properly anymore. Her dad is both absent and present in some degrees while having a whole other new family, but able to financially compensate. He and his new family seem to treat her like the family pet when she comes over and she likes to play with his "new grandkids" and do coloring books with them. She's very sweet at those times.

Every time I read about the Kennedy daughter from the 1930s who got an experimental lobotomy, I think of her. Every description of how they said she behaved reminds me of my daughter.

She's healthy, she doesn't need physical caregiving. She needs adult supervision and I can't give it to her.