You can train yourself.

There are self help books on the market.

In my personal opinion, when trying to determine what exactly constitutes the “It” factor that some people have - - it seems elusive at best as to what it is exactly or what it consists of as well.

What we can all agree on is this ⏩️: Either one has it or they do not.

Plain ➕ Simple.

A good story teller, not reserved, confident but not smug. Nice smile. Attractiveness and $$$ helps

Part of it is just biological. An inner quality that projects and attracts.

Anonymous wrote:The Dale Carnegie book will help.

I read this recently. It's amusingly dated, but fantastic info.

The Dale Carnegie book will help.

Anonymous wrote:It’s called charisma.

Usually a mix of social aptitude, charm, and confidence.

Status helps but even low status people can elevate themselves to high status with charisma and ambition.

Bill Clinton is a great example of this. He grew up in low status Arkansas but really knew how to work a room.
Ronald Reagan was also adept at this. His acting background probably helped him.

Mutant X-gene.

They focus on and listen actively to other people, and are largely positive and rarely if ever negative. It's more than that, but those will be the common denominators with anyone who is charismatic.

Anonymous wrote:It’s an oldie but a goodie …

https://a.co/d/1LUSqHk

Key principles include showing genuine interest, being a good listener, using people's names, smiling, and making others feel important. For leadership and influence, it's recommended to avoid criticism, begin with praise, talk about your own mistakes before correcting others, and ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Look people in the eye, use their name, ask about them… their family and hobbies. Remember them and bring it up in conversation. How’s your horseback riding going? Is your daughter enjoying Chicago? Etc.

If you have friends/coworkers you should know ~10 facts about them.

This x 100.

A few years ago my daughter placed in a competition, and a part of the prize was a lunch with our congresswoman. 5 elementary school kids were invited to sit with her in her office and eat pizza. You had to see HOW she talked to the kids, like they were the most important people and she was absolutely serious listening to and discussing their ideas on how to run the country. She then had a brief talk with the parents, and I realized that’s how she is with people in general.

Is she good-looking? A great conversationalist and listener? These things definitely make people "popular"?

It’s called charisma.

Usually a mix of social aptitude, charm, and confidence.

Status helps but even low status people can elevate themselves to high status with charisma and ambition.

It’s an oldie but a goodie …

https://a.co/d/1LUSqHk

Key principles include showing genuine interest, being a good listener, using people's names, smiling, and making others feel important. For leadership and influence, it's recommended to avoid criticism, begin with praise, talk about your own mistakes before correcting others, and ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Look people in the eye, use their name, ask about them… their family and hobbies. Remember them and bring it up in conversation. How’s your horseback riding going? Is your daughter enjoying Chicago? Etc.

If you have friends/coworkers you should know ~10 facts about them.

I'm pretty and nice and can have a conversation with anyone

What's the "it" factor?
I'm part of a book group with other mothers in my child's school. We rotate homes. It's about 12 women, and usually, 7-8 can make it due to inevitable conflicts.
However, on Friday, a very charismatic group member hosted and everyone showed up and people were talking about it all week. At social gatherings, people seem to gravitate to her no matter what it is.
I wish I knew how to have this magnetism. What is it? She is not wealthy or anything, although she does have a very interesting career, though I don't think that explains this. What is "it"?