Don’t let his ego stress you out. Do talk to your doctor and consider the options. But this may be your new normal and he should be able to accept it. I went through what you’re going through with new partners post divorce. Tried creams, HRT, even PRP. Eventually things got a little better after the hormonal changes settled down and my body settled into the HRT. But there’s still less sensitivity and intensity. Orgasms are less frequent and more effortful.

The most helpful thing was learning to accept my new normal and being with a partner who understood what was going on and didn’t make it about him. Men eventually lose sensitivity, too, and have more difficulty not just getting and staying hard, but also climaxing. So it shouldn’t be that hard for men of a certain age to accept that your sexual function is also changing and it’s not about you being frigid or unresponsive or boring or a blow to his ego if you come less frequently. I find sex highly enjoyable and satisfying even when I cannot climax and my partner understands that. That’s just getting older.

The Vfit from Joylux has been helpful for me for improving blood flow and orgasm strength, along with a pelvic floor kegel routine. Also second the rec for estrogen cream and for solo time with lubricant.

Anonymous wrote:There is vaginal estrogen cream. Even though I am in a marriage with sex I still had atrophy, something I never knew would happen.

+1

I also got laser vag rejuvenation in another country. Fixed all sort of gyn issues. I am post menopausal.

Here's fun news. Without estrogen eventually the big O can be painful as your uterus contracts. Fun times.

Yes girl use it or lose it!

I just got on vaginal estrogen suppositories. How long did it take for you to see improvements?

Yeah, vag est. helps with it all - urgency, dribbling, response, reduce risk of UtI (but also make sure practicing good hygiene with the new guy).

Vaginal estrogen

A vibrator so you can experiment alone and find out what works for you now.

Anonymous wrote:are you on an SSRI?

Op here, I am not. I still get regular periods and my FSH level was recently measured at something like 3.2, but I have recently gotten my first UTI, and noticed increased urinary urgency. So I think that plus the orgasm issue probably adds up to perimenopause symptoms. I do have an appointment with my doctor in a couple of weeks but I'm feeling pretty frustrated in the meantime. I know how important my orgasms are to my new partner and I don't want to start the relationship off with my own dysfunction getting in the way.

are you on an SSRI?

Scream cream

There is vaginal estrogen cream. Even though I am in a marriage with sex I still had atrophy, something I never knew would happen.

HRT.

I'm 50, never had trouble reaching orgasm, currently getting divorced and in a new relationship. There's no shortage of desire, but it is so difficult for me to climax now. Before I met this new person, there was no sex in my marriage for quite a while. I'm so afraid that my inability to come easily, or sometimes at all, is going to ruin my new relationship.

Are there treatments that actually work?