Anonymous wrote:You are NOT failing your baby. He's growing and happy. You're doing great.

It's totally normal for pumping to not work as well as nursing for some people. NORMAL. There are a ton of options here - you could swing by a lactation consultant. They have things that test your pump (maybe you got a lemon?) or could recommend a stronger one. If you're not going back to work for a while or work from home, you may be able to manage EBF without pumping much or at all if it doesn't work well for you. You may need to pump more frequently than your baby needs. With my first, I had to do a short pump right after my baby ate in the morning, then pump three times in the work day to get enough for the two bottles my baby had when I was at work - so I essentially got a half a feed per pump. Totally fine.

You may decide it's too much of a hassle and supplement with formula when you're out or working, that's also totally fine (one of my babies was exclusively formula fed and he's thriving just like the other two! It happens!) It's also possible your baby just don't take very much per feed. If you're still feeding 8+ times a day, and he's getting more in the morning, 2-2.5 oz in afternoon/evening feeds might be adequate for him. You are far, far from a problem. You're just moving into a new phase (using some pumped milk) and need to figure it out. It's totally fine.

However, your reaction seems over the top emotionally - feelings of failure, dreams about it, terrified to pump, sadness, anxiety, and in particular, some shame (that you don't want to tell anyone is a huge red flag). That combined with a history of an eating disorder tells me that the bigger problem here isn't baby feeding, but rather your emotional health. I would strongly encourage you to tell someone. Your husband? A close friend? A therapist? I think you need help, not for your baby, but for you.

Anonymous wrote:It's possible that you don't have the right size flange or something isn't set up right. You might read and try some other size options. It also helps with letdown if you're warm (like a shawl over your shoulders) and you look at pictures of your baby. It can be hard to produce as much for the pump if you're cold and tense.

If your baby is healthy and growing then you have the supply. Your baby is probably more efficient at getting it out than the pump.

Also, I tended to pump 4 hours after last feeding my baby, so then I would get a good amount. It's possible that you weren't going to get more if it's just been 2 hours. And supply is lower later in the day. My morning pumps were always much bigger than my evening pumps.

But regardless, your baby drank the bottles and seemed happy. That's a good sign you pumped what he would have consumed. So things are probably fine. He's only 7 weeks. They don't eat a huge volume at a time.

Anonymous wrote:I love nursing and have with all of my kids but had to come to the realization that my supply wasn’t going to be where my baby needed it. Pumping in my case is exactly how much I produce in a weighted nursing feed, which just isn’t enough. I met with a ton of LC’s early on and they all admitted that hormones just sometimes don’t work in your favor. My babies gained weight too, but it was obvious to me they could be drinking more.

The “treat your anxiety” and “you need help” comments are ridiculous, it’s natural to be anxious while feeling like you’re not adequately feeding your baby. You don’t need freaking medication. I’ll tell you once you make the “switch” and start combo feeding, the anxiety goes away. Stop pumping— nurse and then offer a bottle of formula afterwards.