Do you feel strongly that every decision you make needs to be the "right" decision, but with limited specific criteria for what makes one decision "right"?

This is perfectionism, which is basically anxiety. I know that my anxiety is acting up when I am putting a lot of emotional energy into decisions like the ones you're talking about. It's too much perseverating on details and correctness. It doesn't really matter as much as your anxiety tells you it does. Both choices (buy what you need only vs take advantage of sales) are "right" and trying to choose the "right-est" one is not a good use of your energy.

Resist the urge to spend more that's smart and that's exactly what you're doing so don't beat yourself up about it you don't need a two year supply of detergent right this second deal or no deal.

Anonymous wrote:You are instinctively resisting the consumerist machine trying to make you buy extra crap.

Everything you store in your home effectively costs rent.

Oohhh I like this: "Everything you store in your home effectively costs rent."

Anonymous wrote:Why do I put off purchases I know I need, especially when I have the money?

Examples:

I needed laundry detergent. Target was running a sale, BOGO 40% off, plus they had a $3 off each discount. I was essentially looking at $50 worth of detergent for $30. One part of my brain was like, you need this, one of them costs $13, if you buy four, it’s essentially only double the cost of one, and you’ll have detergent for the year. But another part was like, but all you need right now is ONE detergent, not four.

I debated with myself for most of the workday about what to do.

Another:

My kids’ Christmas presents. I set aside money every year for this purpose, so it’s there. Things are starting to go on sale. I know I have to purchase things before the deadline of December 25, right? I have the money, right? So why am I like, but maybe I’ll just wait until next month? Like, I have a bunch of things in carts, but something (something I don’t know) prevents me from checking out. Why? They are on sale now. They won’t be more on sale next month (likely).

What is stopping me?

How can I overcome this?

I am with you on the first one. I don't want to store a lot of something unless I'm going to actually use it up somewhat soon. Detergent lasts a long time in my life now so I don't want to store it. It may go on sale later again anyway. For the second one, gifts which are a one-time purchase, if they are what you know you definitely want and are a goof price, you should buy them now. I have similar issues and I understand. Think through the need and timing and know that you are in control. Every purchase is different and you should look at them that way. You can make any decision you want because it's your money and time.

Anonymous wrote:Putting off buying stuff is a way to lower spending without actually going without. Because if you buy everything this week, you will definitely add new stuff to the list next week. It's never like "I bought 2 years worth of detergent, now I'll spend less," it's more like "now should I buy 2 years worth of paper towels?"

Also, you have to store stuff. That's another issue.

Hmm, interesting. I think the opposite. I like buying 6 months of something and having things like birthday cards on hand because then I don't go to the store and buy more stuff. And, I can't stand wasting time to go to store for a card or mental energy to think "I have to get Larla a card," or "We're out of soap."

I'll wager that it's generalized anxiety, fear of not doing the right/best thing, maybe mixed in with a desire to be a good person (perhaps based on someone else's definition from childhood). It's just more quantifiable with money than other fears because you can theoretically look back later and know if you used all the detergent or the Christmas presents went on sale for less.

Overcome by buying the detergent and presents today, move on, and then see how you feel. It will likely feel good to have it settled. Repeat until it's natural.

Also get clear on your own values vs. those of your family who may have been/still be focused on saving money to the exclusion of all else. The framework of easy-cheap-good where you can have only two of the three has been very helpful to me. There are times when I really value easy and good (buy now and get it over with because I have other things I value also taking time and energy) and that's a good thing.

Obviously furlough or actual financial troubles would call for cheap and good, but it doesn't sound like OP is in that place.

I'm now putting off buying more moisturizer. My bottle is almost empty and if I don't buy soon I'll run out.

For me part of it is guilt that the only kind I've found that doesn't make me break out is expensive. Maybe if I delay a magical cheap drugstore variety that works just as well will find it's way into my life.

But when I inevitably run out, I'll either live a week with dry flakey skin or I'll buy something at the drugstore and have an eczema acne flare up and then go back to my usual expensive one.

Why why why?

Anonymous wrote:Putting off buying stuff is a way to lower spending without actually going without. Because if you buy everything this week, you will definitely add new stuff to the list next week. It's never like "I bought 2 years worth of detergent, now I'll spend less," it's more like "now should I buy 2 years worth of paper towels?"

Also, you have to store stuff. That's another issue.

PS this is one of the ways I got through my 43 day furlough. We didn't deprive ourselves but we were careful not to buy more than we needed for a given week.

Question: once you pull the trigger, do you ever think of that decision again? Like, do you happily store the extra detergent and remember that you bought extra?

OR: Do you then feel very annoyed that you have no space for the extra detergent, remember that last time you forgot you had it, or regretted your decision even after a bigger sale?

The issue may be that you don't like to give up the control (once you buy it, you're stuck with it, though some people are really into returning things). Or that you are afraid of hoarding. Or that more stuff = more mental load.

For me, even knowing that I could save more money by buying more, I tend not to, because of all of the above. Because I'm particular, and halfway through first detergent bottle I decide I no longer want this particular detergent. So to me buying more is not necessarily cost-effective. I like to travel light through life, and to me it ends up being more cost-effective not to buy in giant quantities.

OR maybe you just like to overthink things, in general, and have trouble trusting yourself to make the right decision, and second-guess yourself so much, it's easier to put off the decision because less time spent second-guessing afterward.

Putting off buying stuff is a way to lower spending without actually going without. Because if you buy everything this week, you will definitely add new stuff to the list next week. It's never like "I bought 2 years worth of detergent, now I'll spend less," it's more like "now should I buy 2 years worth of paper towels?"

Also, you have to store stuff. That's another issue.

Anonymous wrote:You don’t like spending money. This is a good trait. Feel proud of yourself.

I wouldn't go that far.

You don’t like spending money. This is a good trait. Feel proud of yourself.

You are instinctively resisting the consumerist machine trying to make you buy extra crap.

Everything you store in your home effectively costs rent.

I used to think that way, no more. You have to shift your mindset from "I'm panicking about spending this much money, I don't want to spend this much" to "I am spending less now on something I 100% need to buy because I am organized and plan ahead. This will serve me well and is the smart thing to do"

That being said, you're better off buying a huge amount of Ariel powder detergent online for $10. Liquid ones are a rip off. And buying early for gifts is fine but only if the return policy is good. Many stores have annoying 30-day return policies which make them no-go for gifting shoes for instance.

Why do I put off purchases I know I need, especially when I have the money?

Examples:

I needed laundry detergent. Target was running a sale, BOGO 40% off, plus they had a $3 off each discount. I was essentially looking at $50 worth of detergent for $30. One part of my brain was like, you need this, one of them costs $13, if you buy four, it’s essentially only double the cost of one, and you’ll have detergent for the year. But another part was like, but all you need right now is ONE detergent, not four.

I debated with myself for most of the workday about what to do.

Another:

My kids’ Christmas presents. I set aside money every year for this purpose, so it’s there. Things are starting to go on sale. I know I have to purchase things before the deadline of December 25, right? I have the money, right? So why am I like, but maybe I’ll just wait until next month? Like, I have a bunch of things in carts, but something (something I don’t know) prevents me from checking out. Why? They are on sale now. They won’t be more on sale next month (likely).

What is stopping me?

How can I overcome this?