I think the etiquette is for the host to offer to guests. If the leftover is in a non disposable container the guest brought (eg a big casserole that they are taking home), the etiquette is for the guest to offer to leave all or some for the host.

For something like thanksgiving where there is always too much food, my family is always diving up stuff for people to take, especially younger relatives short on cash or elderly that don’t cook as much. Also, it’s a bummer for one person to end up with all the extra turkey and someone else to end up with all the extra stuffing, so it makes sense to just divvy up.

I generally have so much extra turkey that I always plan to just bring it downtown and give it to the homeless outside my office, but because I don’t work on Friday it never really works. I guess I could freeze baggies of it and bring it in next time I go in? I haven’t thought through the logistics but basically I’m dying for someone to take turkey off my hands. Why doesn’t someone breed a mini turkey like they breed mini doodles?

Last time we were at a dinner party, I was responsible for dessert. I asked if anyone wanted the leftovers and when each agreed to a small portion, I divided it up and took the majority of it home. I didn't argue with anyone.

But it felt rude when I thought about it later and I wish I had just left it. I didn't want the leftovers, I just know many people don't want all that dessert lying around! The leftovers dance is always awkard!

Anonymous wrote:I think the host should invite the people who brought the food to take it home if they would like, and the polite reply is "are you sure? You're welcome to keep it." Then the host should say something like "it was so delicious, but we've got so much food, our fridge is absolutely heaving." Once both parties have sufficiently encouraged the other party to take/keep the food, the people who made it can take it. At least this is how it plays out in my circles.

This... no one is entitled to it, everyone must offer it up to others, and in the end the person who wants it most will get it or it will be split up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have zero interest in leftovers, so when I host I try to pawn stuff off on everyone else. I will usually just throw a little bit of each dish into containers and stop thinking about it forever. However, if you really want to take the rest of your creamed corn home with you, I'm happy to oblige.

Soooo American.

Not fighting over food? That's okay with me.

Anonymous wrote:My gawd, who the F cares? Who are you people fighting family for leftover food?

This whole theme cracks me up. I don't want leftovers, ever. You're just giving it to me so I can throw it away at another location.

Anonymous wrote:I have zero interest in leftovers, so when I host I try to pawn stuff off on everyone else. I will usually just throw a little bit of each dish into containers and stop thinking about it forever. However, if you really want to take the rest of your creamed corn home with you, I'm happy to oblige.

Soooo American.

I have zero interest in leftovers, so when I host I try to pawn stuff off on everyone else. I will usually just throw a little bit of each dish into containers and stop thinking about it forever. However, if you really want to take the rest of your creamed corn home with you, I'm happy to oblige.

We always pack stuff for our guests. Doesn't matter who prepared the food. If there's nothing left (all packed and given away), that's a success. Yes, not the American way.

Anonymous wrote:My gawd, who the F cares? Who are you people fighting family for leftover food?

With all the layoffs and future layoffs, perhaps people are worried about food costs, income, higher electricity bills...

Anonymous wrote:I think the host should invite the people who brought the food to take it home if they would like, and the polite reply is "are you sure? You're welcome to keep it." Then the host should say something like "it was so delicious, but we've got so much food, our fridge is absolutely heaving." Once both parties have sufficiently encouraged the other party to take/keep the food, the people who made it can take it. At least this is how it plays out in my circles.

This is what we do...

I have to say, I didn't even know this all required so much thought until DCUM.

But the process I was raised with and see no reason to change is that the host leads any and all leftover conversations. Everybody brings something to our Thanksgiving (assigned/volunteered in advance) but I wouldn't bring leftover containers unless directed by the host. If the host asked if we wanted to take something or gave us a container, that would be fine.

If you're cooking something, and you want leftovers, it's way easier (and safer) to just scale up at home and keep a portion than to try to do some leftover tap dance.

My gawd, who the F cares? Who are you people fighting family for leftover food?

Not unless the host gives ok. The only possible exception is if you brought the dishware, and are trying to be smooth and say I can take this home and wash it...

I think the host should invite the people who brought the food to take it home if they would like, and the polite reply is "are you sure? You're welcome to keep it." Then the host should say something like "it was so delicious, but we've got so much food, our fridge is absolutely heaving." Once both parties have sufficiently encouraged the other party to take/keep the food, the people who made it can take it. At least this is how it plays out in my circles.

This is a spinoff of the active thread about in-laws showing up with containers to take home Thanksgiving leftovers. In that thread, the OP has prepared all of the food. What if Thanksgiving is more of a potluck? In my family, I host the festivities because I have the largest home and can easily accommodate everyone. I cook several dishes, but my in-laws bring the turkey, stuffing, and other dishes. They've always brought containers to take home leftovers.

Although I guess I would have preferred that they ask, I figured it was their right since they made the food and we are family. There are plenty of leftovers for all of us. Is the etiquette such that if the meal is served in one's own home then one controls the leftover process regardless of who made what?