Anonymous wrote:I really don't like the skit. My mom always acted like her gifts were shit no matter what she got. She was ungrateful and would say that dad got her bad gifts. One year we even all got her an LV purse. I think I spend more time and effort on her gifts than anyone else in the family (I am very close to my mom). The way she acted with gifts really clouds how I feel about receiving gifts myself as an adult.

I give DH a list and tell him what I want. I'm very happy with them. We both aren't very into gifts but I think it's important adults receive gifts at Christmas too.

Oooh my stepmother was the same way. really unpleasant and toxic. I’m like you though - I just give DH a list of what I want. I also am not shy about buying whatever I want for myself! The Christmas work is definitely more on me but compared to other things in mothering, I get a lot more enjoyment out of it.

Anonymous wrote:Neither I nor my wife bother to buy each other much for Christmas. I get some socks, she gets a puzzle (a robe would be a pretty big year in our household). We're adults, it's not really necessary.

You do you, but I think it's nice for people to have things to open on Christmas morning. DH and I do stockings for each other. He was initially skeptical about this but now he really likes it -- people tend to get the same things year after year but it's just a fun tradition. Usually we do 1-2 pairs of socks, a beloved candy or chocolate, good quality coffee or tea, and one small gift. For DH I usually do some kind of puzzle item -- a small book of logic problems, a Rubik's cube, etc. He will get me nice skincare or some good quality yarn for crochet or similar. The point is not to spend a ton of money or buy flashy, elaborate items, but to instead spend a little bit of time thinking about what makes the other person happy, what little thing might make their day to day a little nicer, and get that.

We will usually do a few other gifts beyond this but they tend to be small or practical. This year I'm getting DH a fleece jacket, a cookbook, some cooking supplies I know he wants, and a new pair of headphones. Most of this is stuff he told me explicitly he wants/needs. He'll do something similar for me (I'm expecting a new tennis backpack and a remote charger for my phone -- if I don't get them I'll just buy them, but I'm holding off right now because I think he's probably going to get those).

Obviously none of this is necessary, it's just nice. I really love the gift giving tradition of Christmas. I love buying gifts for my loved ones, I love seeing them open their gifts. I like thinking about what might bring them joy or make them feel like I'm paying attention and love them. Material objects aren't love, but they can be a form of comfort and they can represent love when given with that intention.

This is why i buy myself gifts throughout the year.
Husband has absolutely no clue.

Anonymous wrote:This is not my experience as a mom, but it was definitely my mom's experience.

I do think part of it for my mom, though, was that she made an increasingly big deal about Christmas every year, which only increased her disappointment when my dad (who is a narcissist) and her kids (who didn't get the situation) didn't return the favor by making it a big deal for her. It was a passive aggressive move that set her up for disappointment while also slowly making the rest of us dislike Christmas.

As a parent myself, we try to keep Christmas chill. It's about relaxing and spending time together. We do gifts but the goal is just to buy things we know people will enjoy, not to get the most epic gift ever. DH and I both involve our kid in buying gifts for the other parent, so it's equal.

Don't go overboard buying gifts for your family and making Christmas "magic" with the secret hope they will do the same for you. Christmas is not a hallmark movie. And no one is forcing you to be a martyr.

Way to victim blame. Your dad was a dick in this scenario.

OP, that skit had me in stitches. Especially the “I was up until 4 am don’t take my picture”!! Been there!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither I nor my wife bother to buy each other much for Christmas. I get some socks, she gets a puzzle (a robe would be a pretty big year in our household). We're adults, it's not really necessary.

Same. We have too much stuff already and if there's something we really need or want we go ahead and buy it versus waiting until Christmas.

This. DH and I don't exchange gifts, and I ask the kids to just pick out a book they think I'd like.

Anonymous wrote:Neither I nor my wife bother to buy each other much for Christmas. I get some socks, she gets a puzzle (a robe would be a pretty big year in our household). We're adults, it's not really necessary.

Same. We have too much stuff already and if there's something we really need or want we go ahead and buy it versus waiting until Christmas.

Neither I nor my wife bother to buy each other much for Christmas. I get some socks, she gets a puzzle (a robe would be a pretty big year in our household). We're adults, it's not really necessary.

This is not my experience as a mom, but it was definitely my mom's experience.

I do think part of it for my mom, though, was that she made an increasingly big deal about Christmas every year, which only increased her disappointment when my dad (who is a narcissist) and her kids (who didn't get the situation) didn't return the favor by making it a big deal for her. It was a passive aggressive move that set her up for disappointment while also slowly making the rest of us dislike Christmas.

As a parent myself, we try to keep Christmas chill. It's about relaxing and spending time together. We do gifts but the goal is just to buy things we know people will enjoy, not to get the most epic gift ever. DH and I both involve our kid in buying gifts for the other parent, so it's equal.

Don't go overboard buying gifts for your family and making Christmas "magic" with the secret hope they will do the same for you. Christmas is not a hallmark movie. And no one is forcing you to be a martyr.

Anonymous wrote:This is old. If your dh or kids give crapp gifts, tell them. Nobody likes a martyr.

I just started sobbing one year because my family literally bought me nothing. And I had, of course, bought all of the fifty gifts under the tree. That's never happened again.

I really don't like the skit. My mom always acted like her gifts were shit no matter what she got. She was ungrateful and would say that dad got her bad gifts. One year we even all got her an LV purse. I think I spend more time and effort on her gifts than anyone else in the family (I am very close to my mom). The way she acted with gifts really clouds how I feel about receiving gifts myself as an adult.

I give DH a list and tell him what I want. I'm very happy with them. We both aren't very into gifts but I think it's important adults receive gifts at Christmas too.

Is it you posting this every year lmao

I thought it was funny and now it is a classic.

This is old. If your dh or kids give crapp gifts, tell them. Nobody likes a martyr.

Spot on:

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/17iSVx8Mpg/?mibextid=wwXIfr