We drive when it fits in to our schedule. Now that I have to work in my office it's much less (not that I did it on work time but I have much less time)
I do not offer to pick up after a red eye arriving at 5 am for example. I suggest metro during rush hour for able adults. Exception for my 85 year old mother .

It sounds like an unnecessary time suck for your DH, but if you’re off work Wed and Fri, how does him being gone for a few hours impact your cooking and cleaning plan? Can’t you make sure you have all of your needed groceries on hand before he heads to the airport for pick up?

You should pay for her shuttle.

This sounds miserable.

Pay for her shuttle or tell DH to rent a car for her stay.

Anonymous wrote:I do it if it’s not an inconvenience but honestly if it’s rush hour or something I tell them to take a cab. I don’t think being considerate requires actually rearranging your leave schedule etc

But it doesn’t sound like she asks. It sounds like OP’s husband offers. And honestly if she’s the one who always does the traveling for visits, it doesn’t seem inconsiderate to accept the offer. Now if OP and her Family traveled to visit SIL, maybe it would Look different.

I do it if it’s not an inconvenience but honestly if it’s rush hour or something I tell them to take a cab. I don’t think being considerate requires actually rearranging your leave schedule etc

In our family we always offer to pick up at the airport and drop off. But we also always say no, we can just take an Uber. Different times, different people win the battle.

Tell your husband that this year you're going to pay for the shuttle, and tell your sister that you need work done so she has to take the shuttle.

Do you ever visit her? I know you said she doesn't chip in for gas, but I would guess her tickets aren't cheap either.

I would personally just pay for her shuttle ticket on at least one of the days to avoid doing that kind of drive twice in just a few days.

Is your SIL physically able to safely drive a car? If so, she should rent a car. If she cannot afford that, you guys can offer to pay.

You could also offer to pay for Uber or cab or shuttle.

Is your DH South Asian or some other first gen? I taught foreign educated students and during orientation we clearly stated to them that "I need to pick up my auntie at the airport" is NOT a reasonable excuse for missing class. Some cultures REALLY emphasize picking people up at the airport.

No. We don’t do airport drop off or pickup.
Our guests rent cars.

Also, your sister is well aware that your family has one car - she’s inconsiderate.

She should find her own way to and from airport.

I understand why a person could not commit to hosting Thanksgiving weekend until they knew they had Wednesday and Friday off from work, because it is easier to host when you have a few days to prepare and cook. I don’t see why it has anything to do with the airport pick up and drop off. Do you usually use the car on weekdays and your DH takes the bus or walks?

Plus, I would think it would be cheaper and easier for you to uber locally if you needed transportation when your DH was picking up his sister.

Anonymous wrote:We have been in the situation of one car, tight finances and lots of guests coming to DC to visit and stay with us, when we were much younger. What did we do? We basically adjusted to accommodate our guests with all the grace and warmth that we could muster.

Over the years, our financial situation improved quite a bit. We have multiple cars etc. We still pick up our guests and see them off if we can. Glad that we did not quit being graceful when we were poor and opened our mouths. Because that financial situation was not our forever situation.

Same for us. In fact I’m doing one of those drop offs tomorrow at
6:30 am.

We have been in the situation of one car, tight finances and lots of guests coming to DC to visit and stay with us, when we were much younger. What did we do? We basically adjusted to accommodate our guests with all the grace and warmth that we could muster.

Over the years, our financial situation improved quite a bit. We have multiple cars etc. We still pick up our guests and see them off if we can. Glad that we did not quit being graceful when we were poor and opened our mouths. Because that financial situation was not our forever situation.

Why not have them rent a car. Pay for it yourself if you want.

My SIL has visited us a couple of weekends recently, which is great. My DH always wants to pick her up and drop her off, which is not so great because we only have one car so the whole family has to plan around making this 2-2.5 hour round trip twice in 48 hours. This meant I couldn't commit to hosting her for Thanksgiving until I had my time off Wed and Fri confirmed because she'd be expecting rides, for example. If she'd take the shuttle (around $60), we could be more flexible, but my husband thinks it is rude not to pick family up.

I'm frustrated because it's a lot of time, it stresses me out when she's like "this is when the cheapest ticket is, does that work?" and i have to calculate work commuting, kids schedules, etc around that, and she's never ONCE offered to chip into gas for the 200 miles of driving we do each weekend she visits. (We both know neither she nor we have much extra money - I know the shuttle costs, but driving isn't free!)

Now we really need to get some work done on our car, and my formerly remote job has become fully in person in another town. I have Wed and Fri of Thanksgiving week off, but we can't take it in those days because those are her travel days. Ideally we can find a place that can do it over a weekend, but I am so frustrated that the shuttle isn't an option. Do you all drive family to and from airports and stations an hour away every time? If not, how do you bring it up?