Anonymous wrote:I hope other relatives ask why you’re not attending, so you can say, “Unfortunately Sally will not allow us to bring our own food, and even though she tries to be careful, Rachel got sick last year, and being together isn’t worth risking another hospital visit. If only Sally would let us bring our own food, we’d love to see everyone. But I guess making all the food herself is more important than keeping Rachael out of the hospital, so maybe we can FaceTime and say hi.”

Please do not do this. If I were the relative on the receiving end of this, I would think you were totally weird and off socially, even if this were true.

That's awful. I honestly wouldn't blink an eye if someone discreetly brought their own food for any reason.

My dad is on dialysis and my sister and I both go to a lot of trouble to make food he can eat, only to catch him sneaking bites of the forbidden food in the kitchen. I wish he would just bring his own food.

I think it is wonderful that you bring food for you child with Celiac. I will say that as a host dealing with accommodating allergies stresses me out and I far prefer if the parents bring something for their kids. Not bc I don't want to do it but I worry that something will be cross contaminated in the hecticness of prep.

I am the OP of the other thread. I would completely understand a celiac person bringing their own food. I would be grateful. In fact I am sure the mom if the 2year old will bring whatever he will eat. All good. Your circumstance is entirely different. I am sorry your family made things hard.

Anonymous wrote:Most people don't understand how microscopic amounts of gluten (wheat flour) can make celiacs sick.

The foods for celiacs should not be prepared with cookie sheets previously used for wheat flour, pots and pans used to cook things with wheat, and wooden spoons used for general cooking etc. Mixing bowls and beaters used to make cookies prepared with wheat flour area also contaminated.

I got violently ill from eating some almond flour cookies that my neighbor cooked.

I prefer not to eat "gluten free" foods that others have prepared. It is too risky.

Thank you. There are plenty of threads on here where people state that they are celiac but then will eat just about anything, anywhere that someone claims is "gluten free". We would never risk that. They are just trendy.

I hope other relatives ask why you’re not attending, so you can say, “Unfortunately Sally will not allow us to bring our own food, and even though she tries to be careful, Rachel got sick last year, and being together isn’t worth risking another hospital visit. If only Sally would let us bring our own food, we’d love to see everyone. But I guess making all the food herself is more important than keeping Rachael out of the hospital, so maybe we can FaceTime and say hi.”

Most people don't understand how microscopic amounts of gluten (wheat flour) can make celiacs sick.

The foods for celiacs should not be prepared with cookie sheets previously used for wheat flour, pots and pans used to cook things with wheat, and wooden spoons used for general cooking etc. Mixing bowls and beaters used to make cookies prepared with wheat flour area also contaminated.

I got violently ill from eating some almond flour cookies that my neighbor cooked.

I prefer not to eat "gluten free" foods that others have prepared. It is too risky.

I’m sorry your relatives are so rude. My kids have nut allergies, and I truly appreciate the people who are helpful with this as hosts; and we ALWAYS bring our own food as backup just in case.

I am happy to host my friends and relatives, some of whom are vegan, some vegetarian, my brother with a fish allergy, my other relatives with nut allergies, on and on.

If anyone was offended by questions or by people bringing their own food, I would never go over to their house, ever.

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the few people trusted to cook for my friend with celiac and I feel like if the whole exercise doesn't stress you out a bit, you're doing it wrong. I'm always triple checking things and worried I'm going to hurt her.

Same! My SIL has celiac and I’m constantly rewashing already washed cooking utensils before using them and drying them with fresh paper towels just in case. I would never be so flippant about a serious health issue like this one.

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the few people trusted to cook for my friend with celiac and I feel like if the whole exercise doesn't stress you out a bit, you're doing it wrong. I'm always triple checking things and worried I'm going to hurt her.

That is so kind of you.

Anonymous wrote:I hope that’s unique to your family because I can’t imagine being offended if you brought food for your dietary restricted daughter. In fact, I’d appreciate it because I wouldn’t want to accidentally screw up.

Thank you. We never wanted to burden anyone, and we didn't want the stress of making DD ill so we thought bringing our own food would be fine. I will say it's much easier this way because I have to cook regardless. We don't host because we have the one family member who truly has a gift and is the best cook, so everyone wants to go there and I understand. Our home is not big enough anyway to do what she does. I don't understand why she couldn't just accept us bringing our own food for DD, but it worked out for the best.

I'm one of the few people trusted to cook for my friend with celiac and I feel like if the whole exercise doesn't stress you out a bit, you're doing it wrong. I'm always triple checking things and worried I'm going to hurt her.

I hope that’s unique to your family because I can’t imagine being offended if you brought food for your dietary restricted daughter. In fact, I’d appreciate it because I wouldn’t want to accidentally screw up.

After seeing the thread about the person angry to be asked if there would be vegetarian pizza or if she should bring her own food, I realized this sort of thing is why we changed our holiday traditions. One of our kids has Celiac. She becomes quite ill from gluten. We were always happy to bring our own food, but that seems to offend some people. One relative who insists on hosting every Thanksgiving and is an amazing cook would tell us she will accommodate and insist we don't need to bring anything and then would be so annoyed when we checked what was safe. The times we brought just in case food for our daughter she was annoyed. A few people went gluten free for other reasons which helped, but gluten did not make them violently ill like it did with our daughter. Our last visit there, the signs for gluten free and regular rolls likely got reversed. She insisted we not bring our own food and our daughter ended needing a hospital visit because she was so ill. We were done. It has been much easier and lower stress. No more eye rolls. No more risking offending someone bringing food or offending someone by asking. We will only the people who don't get it for non-food related activities.