Anonymous wrote:You are the worst type of room mom.

Seriously.

You don’t know anything about them. You don’t know about their struggles, finances, health, background etc.
if you want to help smile and introduce yourself keeping it simple

I’m that mom. A lot of it is social anxiety. Overthinking everything and getting overwhelmed.

Add in that over the years, I’ve invited dozens of moms to hang out or tried to arrange play dates, and the vast majority say no, or they’ll drop their kids off, leave, and never reciprocate.

My DD has similar problems with fitting in. She finally found one friend, and they spend a LOT of time together, but it’s all initiated by me and I have to do all of the driving. The friend’s mom has literally never dropped her DD off or picked her up from my house, I have to go get her. It’s really frustrating but I’m willing to do it for my DD. I’ve tried arranging times for our families to hang out but the mom bails most of the time.

So add up all these people who flake, coupled with social anxiety, and it’s really hard to keep putting yourself out there.

Did you say hello? Did you converse with them for any other purpose than to ask them to volunteer? Do you host group play dates at your house and make your kid invite someone new? I’m a single mom and I work full time. My kid was also neurodivergent so it’s not like there were tons do people beating down our door for play dates, meetups, and I’m not around for the 10 am coffee meetups of the other moms. Thankfully there were a couple of kids whose parents I worked with so we would meet up on weekends or on school holidays because we would coordinate and chat at work. I also would reach out at church, but most of the invites I put out there were attended but not reciprocated.

It’s really hard in this area for adults to find new friendships. So why are you looking at people wandering around your school that you don’t know and judging them when they’re the outsiders?

Because they encounter judgmental witches like you everywhere they go.

When you see someone hungry at a buffet but not eating, it makes you wonder why. It seems like a straightforward thing—just grab a plate and a fork. But if someone can’t do that, it’s clear the issue is more complicated than it appears, and a class mom can’t solve it.

How is therapy going to help the mom change the cliques in your school?

You’re ready to blame them for not being “cool” enough to be invited into your group. Yet you’re the one not extending an invite. How is the other mom getting therapy going to make you a better person?

OP, why haven’t you sought therapy to understand why you’re such a busy body? Or maybe to explore your motivations for becoming the class mom?

What a weird post. Mind your own business, OP.

That settles that. Good luck to those who don’t take matters into their own hands.

There isn’t anything wrong with being reserved. Encourage parents in the school to be welcoming and accommodating towards *kids* — regardless of their relationships with the parents. Focus on that.

So have you invited this family over yet? Or are you just quietly judging with your superiority complex?

Not everyone can afford therapy, has time for therapy, or thinks therapy would work for this issue.

You are the worst type of room mom.

As the class mom, I make it a point to check in with families, especially those who are new to the school. Recently, I had a conversation with a mom whose daughter is having a tough time adjusting. She mentioned that her child isn’t quite fitting in, and that other families have established relationships that make it harder for her daughter to feel included.

I know from experience that it takes time for new families to settle into the community, and some years are more challenging than others. However, in this particular case, it seems the family is still struggling to integrate. At a recent parent night, the father mostly stayed on his phone, and the mother appeared somewhat reserved—at first, she interacted with others, but then spent the rest of the evening walking around alone and eventually ended up sitting with her husband, both on their phones.
It seems like this family may be having difficulty building connections.

Why wouldn’t a parent in this situation explore some outside support, like therapy to work through barriers that may be making it harder for them to adjust? Making connections can be tough, and professional guidance could offer a fresh perspective.