People really overcomplicate it. In the words of Tante Marie, “Just Put the F*ing Turkey in the Oven”:
https://youtu.be/foA0MGUbYH0?si=-kRF79gO0uPv8diL

350 oven, stuff it with cut up onions and some herbs and a half a lemon, rub some herbed butter on that thing, and put it in the oven. Maybe cover with a butter-soaked cheesecloth if you want to be fancy.

No, you don’t have to baste. No, you don’t have to brine. And if you do brine, for God’s sake, DRY BRINE. Do not make life complicated over a roasted turkey.

Honestly, go watch Chef John’s basic turkey video. It couldn’t be easier.

Stop fussing and put the f*ing turkey in the oven.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a good quality bird. No brining or any of the BS. Roast it on a rack in a covered roaster like granny did. Baste with a turkey baster every once in a while. Use a meat thermometer. Test for clear juices at thigh.
Don't overcook it.

Why would brining a low quality product even be an option?

Brining should not be an option. Don't overcook the bird. Mine are never dry.

Compared to alternatives, all turkey tastes dry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a good quality bird. No brining or any of the BS. Roast it on a rack in a covered roaster like granny did. Baste with a turkey baster every once in a while. Use a meat thermometer. Test for clear juices at thigh.
Don't overcook it.

Why would brining a low quality product even be an option?

Brining should not be an option. Don't overcook the bird. Mine are never dry.

One year I screwed up and failed to buy a turkey - all that was left was frozen.

I bought a turkey breast instead. It was so easy to cook and slice and serve - honestly no one missed the drumsticks that much.

I never cook turkey. Why torture myself making food I don't like?

Anonymous wrote:Get a good quality bird. No brining or any of the BS. Roast it on a rack in a covered roaster like granny did. Baste with a turkey baster every once in a while. Use a meat thermometer. Test for clear juices at thigh.
Don't overcook it.

Why would brining a low quality product even be an option?

Oh yes take cover off at the end for brown crispy skin.
This is a bit different from my instructions above, no basting and uses foil.
https://www.kitchensanctuary.com/easy-roast-turkey-recipe/

Get a good quality bird. No brining or any of the BS. Roast it on a rack in a covered roaster like granny did. Baste with a turkey baster every once in a while. Use a meat thermometer. Test for clear juices at thigh.
Don't overcook it.

cut it into pieces. Dry brine it with kosher salt for three days. It roasts in a couple hours to perfect tenderness (as long as you manage the temps). It's a much better way then trying to wrestle the whole thing for the one minute glimpse of the golden bird, that's overcooked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love to cook but I absolutely hate, hate making turkey.

It takes so much work to overcome the fact that it’s just a bad piece of meat. Dry, flavorless. So there’s the brining and the flavor injecting and basting. I have to clear out half a fridge to fit a container big enough to hold the turkey in the brine. Yes you can do a bag but the chances of the bag breaking and your entire fridge becoming a biohazard zone are too high. I seem to never be able to get the stupid thing out of the brine without splashing it all over myself. I’m left putting up caution tape while I sanitize the kitchen and then shower/wash my clothes as if I was in a nuclear reactor.

It takes up the entire oven and you have to guard oven so unhelpful people don’t open the door to look at it dropping the temp.

Once it’s done getting it out of the roasting pan is another problem. My dogs who are allowed no where near the kitchen, line up in anticipation of a time when I finally drop the huge thing.

It looks nice for five minutes. Once it’s carved..aka hacked apart by Uncle Bob, it looks like the most unappetizing carcass left behind in the woods by wild animals.

You are doing it wrong then. Takes about 5 min prep work, then into the oven.
The carving the turkey afterwards is about 20 min of work, but once it's carved up and placed in foil or containers, makes it really simple to serve up.

The brining takes longer than 5 minutes.

Anonymous wrote:I love to cook but I absolutely hate, hate making turkey.

It takes so much work to overcome the fact that it’s just a bad piece of meat. Dry, flavorless. So there’s the brining and the flavor injecting and basting. I have to clear out half a fridge to fit a container big enough to hold the turkey in the brine. Yes you can do a bag but the chances of the bag breaking and your entire fridge becoming a biohazard zone are too high. I seem to never be able to get the stupid thing out of the brine without splashing it all over myself. I’m left putting up caution tape while I sanitize the kitchen and then shower/wash my clothes as if I was in a nuclear reactor.

It takes up the entire oven and you have to guard oven so unhelpful people don’t open the door to look at it dropping the temp.

Once it’s done getting it out of the roasting pan is another problem. My dogs who are allowed no where near the kitchen, line up in anticipation of a time when I finally drop the huge thing.

It looks nice for five minutes. Once it’s carved..aka hacked apart by Uncle Bob, it looks like the most unappetizing carcass left behind in the woods by wild animals.

You are doing it wrong then. Takes about 5 min prep work, then into the oven.
The carving the turkey afterwards is about 20 min of work, but once it's carved up and placed in foil or containers, makes it really simple to serve up.

We used to get a turkey from a local farm, fresh, then brine overnight then cook on a rotating spit in the grill. Easy and freed up kitchen.
Then my husband was no longer with us.
So now I make vegetarian meal! Easy and enjoyable too. Kids love it.

I don’t care for turkey either, but I make a turkey breast with stuffing on the side. The breast cooks in a few hours.

We do ham. Nobody likes turkey.

I love to cook but I absolutely hate, hate making turkey.

It takes so much work to overcome the fact that it’s just a bad piece of meat. Dry, flavorless. So there’s the brining and the flavor injecting and basting. I have to clear out half a fridge to fit a container big enough to hold the turkey in the brine. Yes you can do a bag but the chances of the bag breaking and your entire fridge becoming a biohazard zone are too high. I seem to never be able to get the stupid thing out of the brine without splashing it all over myself. I’m left putting up caution tape while I sanitize the kitchen and then shower/wash my clothes as if I was in a nuclear reactor.

It takes up the entire oven and you have to guard oven so unhelpful people don’t open the door to look at it dropping the temp.

Once it’s done getting it out of the roasting pan is another problem. My dogs who are allowed no where near the kitchen, line up in anticipation of a time when I finally drop the huge thing.

It looks nice for five minutes. Once it’s carved..aka hacked apart by Uncle Bob, it looks like the most unappetizing carcass left behind in the woods by wild animals.