Not helpful, but: Two-and-a-half years of weekly marriage therapy gave me hope for our 20 year marriage, but after being yo-yo'd around repeatedly -- we're good! we're not! we're good! -- she still left... and was with someone new w/in two months. If I knew then what I know now, I'd have thrown in the towel the moment she said she was unhappy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any specific types of divisive issues? Is there an inciting incident? Agree with the above poster re: imago certification. I may have a couple recommendations- any preference for male/female?

No horrible issues (no cheating, no drugs/booze, no freeloading, etc.)

The issues have been:
1) mental load & division of household management duties
2) differences over disciplining kids (much less of a problem in the last 3-4 years, as they have matured).

I am sincerely grateful for your (or anyone else's recommendations). I don't think DW or DH has any gender preference for the counselor.

Thank you

How old are the kids? Wondering if you’re in the thick of it with little kids or if they have ability to be more independent. Agree with earlier posters that imago worked great for us to improve communication about these types of issues.

We did maybe 10 sessions remotely with Mary Baker and really liked her. There have always been a lot of good things about our marriage, but we had never been good at resolving conflict and argued about the same issues over and over, got really angry, etc. After 15 years of marriage, it really started to take a toll. Mary helped us essentially establish boundaries/ ground rules for our arguments and learn to communicate better. It helped a lot. Not arguing as much and feeling like we could resolve issues made many other aspects of our marriage (which were already good) even better. It’s been about two years since our last session and we’re in a much better place than we were when we first started working with her.

Deborah Fox

Anonymous wrote:Any specific types of divisive issues? Is there an inciting incident? Agree with the above poster re: imago certification. I may have a couple recommendations- any preference for male/female?

No horrible issues (no cheating, no drugs/booze, no freeloading, etc.)

The issues have been:
1) mental load & division of household management duties
2) differences over disciplining kids (much less of a problem in the last 3-4 years, as they have matured).

I am sincerely grateful for your (or anyone else's recommendations). I don't think DW or DH has any gender preference for the counselor.

Thank you

DW and I were very happy with our experience with Susan Goldart. Hence, I've recommended her on this forum over the years because we believe she likely saved our marriage.

Susan is a wonderful person and an amazing listener. I'd like to say communication strategies are her strong point, but I think that would be narrowly defining her skills.

Happily married now for 25+ years, DW and I still use the tools she helped us develop during our sessions.

https://gpatherapy.com/about-gpatherapy/susan-goldart-dswlicsw/

Good luck. Rooting for you and your DW.

I hated imago.

Any specific types of divisive issues? Is there an inciting incident? Agree with the above poster re: imago certification. I may have a couple recommendations- any preference for male/female?

I would search for imago therapists who are virtual. Look for one who is imago certified because some say they do imago but haven't gone through the rigorous trainings and certification.

Can anyone recommend a trusted marriage counselor who is in/near NW DC or remote? I'm in a wonderful marriage with a wonderful wife whom I still love, but (as we all know) sometimes issues arise where spouses want differing - seemingly irreconcilable - courses of action or have completely different takes on family issues. I'm hoping for someone who can help us deal with communication, with divisive issues on which we disagree, and with rebuilding our connection. (And I fear getting a marriage counselor who might only make things worse.) I thank you for any recommendations and wish you all well. - Anonymous Loving but Concerned Husband.