Anonymous
11/14/2025 07:53
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm going to need an example to be sure you're using the word "gaslight" correctly. Most people don't know what it actually means and use the word wrong.
It's possible you're just describing a dick.
Well the person, after signing a contract to completely redesign something said that they never wanted to redesign it and wanted to keep the original. Every conversation has been recorded by AI note takers so it's not like there isn't very specific proof that this isn't true besides the contract. I will say that gaslighting in the modern age is very easy to prove but the person still does it. Just bizarre.
It's Trump and the East Wing Ballroom isn't it? Demolition regrets? Asbestos brain?
Anonymous
11/14/2025 07:16
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm going to need an example to be sure you're using the word "gaslight" correctly. Most people don't know what it actually means and use the word wrong.
It's possible you're just describing a dick.
Well the person, after signing a contract to completely redesign something said that they never wanted to redesign it and wanted to keep the original. Every conversation has been recorded by AI note takers so it's not like there isn't very specific proof that this isn't true besides the contract. I will say that gaslighting in the modern age is very easy to prove but the person still does it. Just bizarre.
That is not gaslighting.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 07:05
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
I have a boss who thinks he knows what I want to tell him. He also decides how my sentences end.
I told him and another gentleman (machine repairman who had arrived 10 minutes earlier) that their cars were about to get ticketed. There's were 3 other people right next to them who heard me say it to them.
The other gentleman ran out to move his car right away. I had to tell my boss again 3 more times.
In the middle of my sentence telling my boss 3rd time that he was going to get a ticket, he told me not to bug him as he was not really working today. He had just come by for a second. In his head, whatever I said, was about work.
I left him alone for a moment, but I still wanted to save him from the ticket. I went to the office where he was now and told him one more time. Somehow he heard me the 4th time and he ran out.
He knows he shouldn't park there as he has got tickets before, and I have saved him from tickets before.
I don't talk to him unless really necessary. He does have ADHD and ASD. He thanked me when he came back, but said he had lots going on as he felt embarrassed slightly. Well, he clearly creates half the trouble in his life including being in debt. He also creates trouble at work and then sends me to fix them.
Not gaslighting, but annoying as heck. I guess I need to figure out his way of thinking. Writing a notes perhaps instead of talking.
I told him and another gentleman (machine repairman who had arrived 10 minutes earlier) that their cars were about to get ticketed. There's were 3 other people right next to them who heard me say it to them.
The other gentleman ran out to move his car right away. I had to tell my boss again 3 more times.
In the middle of my sentence telling my boss 3rd time that he was going to get a ticket, he told me not to bug him as he was not really working today. He had just come by for a second. In his head, whatever I said, was about work.
I left him alone for a moment, but I still wanted to save him from the ticket. I went to the office where he was now and told him one more time. Somehow he heard me the 4th time and he ran out.
He knows he shouldn't park there as he has got tickets before, and I have saved him from tickets before.
I don't talk to him unless really necessary. He does have ADHD and ASD. He thanked me when he came back, but said he had lots going on as he felt embarrassed slightly. Well, he clearly creates half the trouble in his life including being in debt. He also creates trouble at work and then sends me to fix them.
Not gaslighting, but annoying as heck. I guess I need to figure out his way of thinking. Writing a notes perhaps instead of talking.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 06:24
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
Anonymous wrote:My husband does the s but it isn't gaslighting because it's not intentional.
It happens because there are a lot of conversations where he is only 10-20% paying attention, but he's still providing opinions. His knee jerk response is often to be dismissive or negative about things, especially if they (1) cost money, or (2) require time/effort.
If I disagree, he will vaguely pay attention to my argument but not really think about the conversation with clarity.
Then time will pass and we'll discuss it again, and he will present my argument back to me as if it was his own. Or sometimes he will claim he doesn't care about the subject of the discussion and never did (after expressing a strong negative opinion previously). When I get frustrated at his sudden change of opinion, he will claim we never discussed it before.
I am describing this with clarity because we went to therapy and he did it in therapy. The therapist literally showed him notes from prior sessions to show it had been discussed. It was really wild.
It isildly better since he's been made aware he does this, but it still happens. One thing I do that helps is write down notes from important conversations and email them to him. He's then supposed to read them and either affirm he still thinks what he said or amend his opinion. This forces him to be accountable for what he says.
It's a lot of work for me, though, so I only do it for big stuff, like discussing whether we can afford to send out DC to private for middle. I don't bother with stuff like whether we'll go to a dinner party we were invited to. So it's still a problem.
Wut
Anonymous
11/13/2025 22:53
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
Anonymous wrote:I have absolutely worked with people like this. The correct thing to do is to get everything in writing. After every single meeting or conversation, you write detailed notes about what was said and you email the notes to everyone involved, including the gaslighter. If the gaslighter has any issues with the information in the notes you wrote, they can bring it up immediately. If they come to the next meeting contradicting what was said in the previous meeting, you can pull out the notes that have been seen by everyone and point to the information that they had previously agreed with.
I was young when this happened to me and I'm grateful to the mentor who showed me how to manage this issue.
What is crazy to me is even when it's well documented the person continues to insist that you are the issue and has no desire to just say I changed my mind. I suppose it's a power play to somehow make you indebted to them
Anonymous
11/13/2025 18:19
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
I have absolutely worked with people like this. The correct thing to do is to get everything in writing. After every single meeting or conversation, you write detailed notes about what was said and you email the notes to everyone involved, including the gaslighter. If the gaslighter has any issues with the information in the notes you wrote, they can bring it up immediately. If they come to the next meeting contradicting what was said in the previous meeting, you can pull out the notes that have been seen by everyone and point to the information that they had previously agreed with.
I was young when this happened to me and I'm grateful to the mentor who showed me how to manage this issue.
I was young when this happened to me and I'm grateful to the mentor who showed me how to manage this issue.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 18:17
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
Anonymous wrote:No, but I have met people who gaslight you in other ways - people that are control freaks and block others from doing their assigned tasks, align with others behind your back, ask the others to do your tasks, and then act like you're making up stuff, and then both allies go radio silent when presented with proof that you were given the task initially.
Ugh yeah I've worked with that type too.
Whenever I'm given proof of the insanity of another person, I don't confront. It's enough evidence, to me, that the person has the capacity to be dangerous.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 18:15
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
Anonymous wrote:My husband does the s but it isn't gaslighting because it's not intentional.
It happens because there are a lot of conversations where he is only 10-20% paying attention, but he's still providing opinions. His knee jerk response is often to be dismissive or negative about things, especially if they (1) cost money, or (2) require time/effort.
If I disagree, he will vaguely pay attention to my argument but not really think about the conversation with clarity.
Then time will pass and we'll discuss it again, and he will present my argument back to me as if it was his own. Or sometimes he will claim he doesn't care about the subject of the discussion and never did (after expressing a strong negative opinion previously). When I get frustrated at his sudden change of opinion, he will claim we never discussed it before.
I am describing this with clarity because we went to therapy and he did it in therapy. The therapist literally showed him notes from prior sessions to show it had been discussed. It was really wild.
It isildly better since he's been made aware he does this, but it still happens. One thing I do that helps is write down notes from important conversations and email them to him. He's then supposed to read them and either affirm he still thinks what he said or amend his opinion. This forces him to be accountable for what he says.
It's a lot of work for me, though, so I only do it for big stuff, like discussing whether we can afford to send out DC to private for middle. I don't bother with stuff like whether we'll go to a dinner party we were invited to. So it's still a problem.
Interesting and frustrating dynamic!
Anonymous
11/13/2025 18:12
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
Anonymous wrote:I'm going to need an example to be sure you're using the word "gaslight" correctly. Most people don't know what it actually means and use the word wrong.
It's possible you're just describing a dick.
Well the person, after signing a contract to completely redesign something said that they never wanted to redesign it and wanted to keep the original. Every conversation has been recorded by AI note takers so it's not like there isn't very specific proof that this isn't true besides the contract. I will say that gaslighting in the modern age is very easy to prove but the person still does it. Just bizarre.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 18:11
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
My husband does the s but it isn't gaslighting because it's not intentional.
It happens because there are a lot of conversations where he is only 10-20% paying attention, but he's still providing opinions. His knee jerk response is often to be dismissive or negative about things, especially if they (1) cost money, or (2) require time/effort.
If I disagree, he will vaguely pay attention to my argument but not really think about the conversation with clarity.
Then time will pass and we'll discuss it again, and he will present my argument back to me as if it was his own. Or sometimes he will claim he doesn't care about the subject of the discussion and never did (after expressing a strong negative opinion previously). When I get frustrated at his sudden change of opinion, he will claim we never discussed it before.
I am describing this with clarity because we went to therapy and he did it in therapy. The therapist literally showed him notes from prior sessions to show it had been discussed. It was really wild.
It isildly better since he's been made aware he does this, but it still happens. One thing I do that helps is write down notes from important conversations and email them to him. He's then supposed to read them and either affirm he still thinks what he said or amend his opinion. This forces him to be accountable for what he says.
It's a lot of work for me, though, so I only do it for big stuff, like discussing whether we can afford to send out DC to private for middle. I don't bother with stuff like whether we'll go to a dinner party we were invited to. So it's still a problem.
It happens because there are a lot of conversations where he is only 10-20% paying attention, but he's still providing opinions. His knee jerk response is often to be dismissive or negative about things, especially if they (1) cost money, or (2) require time/effort.
If I disagree, he will vaguely pay attention to my argument but not really think about the conversation with clarity.
Then time will pass and we'll discuss it again, and he will present my argument back to me as if it was his own. Or sometimes he will claim he doesn't care about the subject of the discussion and never did (after expressing a strong negative opinion previously). When I get frustrated at his sudden change of opinion, he will claim we never discussed it before.
I am describing this with clarity because we went to therapy and he did it in therapy. The therapist literally showed him notes from prior sessions to show it had been discussed. It was really wild.
It isildly better since he's been made aware he does this, but it still happens. One thing I do that helps is write down notes from important conversations and email them to him. He's then supposed to read them and either affirm he still thinks what he said or amend his opinion. This forces him to be accountable for what he says.
It's a lot of work for me, though, so I only do it for big stuff, like discussing whether we can afford to send out DC to private for middle. I don't bother with stuff like whether we'll go to a dinner party we were invited to. So it's still a problem.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 17:54
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
Anonymous wrote:Have you ever met someone like this? I worked on this wild project where from meeting 1 to meeting 4 that person went from wanting something completely different, but would gaslight you that as they moved from idea A to idea B its idea B that they wanted all along and you were the moron in this.
Yes, sounds just like my STBX. He would discredit any and all of my ideas, and sometimes later pass them off as his ideas.
These types of people have to always feel completely in control (absolutely every idea and decision has to come from them) and they will never admit they were wrong or your idea might be good. It is exhausting and very difficult to communicate with them.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 17:36
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
I'm going to need an example to be sure you're using the word "gaslight" correctly. Most people don't know what it actually means and use the word wrong.
It's possible you're just describing a dick.
It's possible you're just describing a dick.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 17:35
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
typically are narcissists
Anonymous
11/13/2025 00:09
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
No, but I have met people who gaslight you in other ways - people that are control freaks and block others from doing their assigned tasks, align with others behind your back, ask the others to do your tasks, and then act like you're making up stuff, and then both allies go radio silent when presented with proof that you were given the task initially.
Anonymous
11/12/2025 23:52
Subject: Someone that can't communicate clearly / gaslights
Have you ever met someone like this? I worked on this wild project where from meeting 1 to meeting 4 that person went from wanting something completely different, but would gaslight you that as they moved from idea A to idea B its idea B that they wanted all along and you were the moron in this.