Even a lap dance is completely inappropriate. 20 years ago I was a “cool girl” and was like I don’t care about strip clubs but once my husband told me what was involved in a lap dance it’s totally gross and not appropriate.

Let’s focus on the bigger picture. You have a husband who likes to go to all-nude strip clubs and get lap dances at the very minimum. And he’s not even bothering to hide that from you. What else is he doing that you haven’t found out yet? Do you have an open marriage?

The amount isn't actually suspicious depending on the length of the dance. You can pay that around here for a longer dance (or a shorter dance at Cloakroom)

Sending it directly to her is suspicious. The club wants their cut, so that's probably all tip which makes extras more likely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s innocent about a lap dance in a fully nude club? The woman is grinding on him and getting him off while his hands are God knows where. You’re okay with this?

OP here- no, I’m not ok with it. I’m trying to get a sense of what likely happened as a starting point. For starters, I would think that payment for a dance or VIP room entry would be paid directly to the club, and not to a dancer directly via Venmo. Is this correct? So my assumption is that the $500 “tip” is for extras

He had sex with the woman. End of story.

Is it even possible that it’s just a lap dance? I’m thinking no. But am curious

Is this a direct Venmo payment separate from the credit card charge to the club?

This is like arguing about which dog turd tasted better.
Tip or complete service what's the diff?
He had a nudecwoman grinding on him and whose body part got him off isn't material.
What is is whether he gets STDs and gives them to you and whether if going to strip and gring clubs is ordinary for him.
Ugh btw.

Is this the same husband who went on a trip with his friend?

Lawyer up and do not have sex with him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s innocent about a lap dance in a fully nude club? The woman is grinding on him and getting him off while his hands are God knows where. You’re okay with this?

OP here- no, I’m not ok with it. I’m trying to get a sense of what likely happened as a starting point. For starters, I would think that payment for a dance or VIP room entry would be paid directly to the club, and not to a dancer directly via Venmo. Is this correct? So my assumption is that the $500 “tip” is for extras

He had sex with the woman. End of story.

Is it even possible that it’s just a lap dance? I’m thinking no. But am curious

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s innocent about a lap dance in a fully nude club? The woman is grinding on him and getting him off while his hands are God knows where. You’re okay with this?

OP here- no, I’m not ok with it. I’m trying to get a sense of what likely happened as a starting point. For starters, I would think that payment for a dance or VIP room entry would be paid directly to the club, and not to a dancer directly via Venmo. Is this correct? So my assumption is that the $500 “tip” is for extras

Yes it was for "extras"
If the club found out she'd lose her job.
He is having an affair with a stripper no one in this day and age venmos the stripper directly unless they had a private party somewhere besides the club.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s innocent about a lap dance in a fully nude club? The woman is grinding on him and getting him off while his hands are God knows where. You’re okay with this?

OP here- no, I’m not ok with it. I’m trying to get a sense of what likely happened as a starting point. For starters, I would think that payment for a dance or VIP room entry would be paid directly to the club, and not to a dancer directly via Venmo. Is this correct? So my assumption is that the $500 “tip” is for extras

He had sex with the woman. End of story.

Anonymous wrote:What’s innocent about a lap dance in a fully nude club? The woman is grinding on him and getting him off while his hands are God knows where. You’re okay with this?

OP here- no, I’m not ok with it. I’m trying to get a sense of what likely happened as a starting point. For starters, I would think that payment for a dance or VIP room entry would be paid directly to the club, and not to a dancer directly via Venmo. Is this correct? So my assumption is that the $500 “tip” is for extras

Anonymous wrote:What’s innocent about a lap dance in a fully nude club? The woman is grinding on him and getting him off while his hands are God knows where. You’re okay with this?

+1

Trickle truthing. He only admits to what you can prove. Be sure, it's only the tip of the iceberg, and the tip of the iceberg is already really bad.

What’s innocent about a lap dance in a fully nude club? The woman is grinding on him and getting him off while his hands are God knows where. You’re okay with this?

Granted I haven't been to one in nearly 20 years, but there is no way an innocent lap dance costs $500.

DH sent $500 directly to a stripper at a fully nude strip club in the Miami area—ie, did not pay this fee to the club directly. He claims Miami is expensive and that the payment was for a lap dance. I call BS. How much would a lap dance cost, would the cost be paid to the club or directly to the stripper via Venmo, how much would you tip a woman for a lap dance, and what is the most likely explanation? I have a hard time believing that an “innocent” lap dance costs $500 regardless of the geographical location.