Ask your son what he plans to do if he doesn't go to college. His good grades will still be there if he decides he wants to attend later.

I taught at the University level. There was a percentage of 18/19 year olds who took their classes seriously, but I found a far higher percentage of 21/22 old freshmen who took their classes seriously. The older students had a better idea of why they were at school and what they wanted to get out of it. I found that my older students skipped class less and were better prepared. They utilized office hours more. They were at college to do more than party.

If he is not ready to go to school, let him take the time to find what he wants to do. I would require he work and pay rent at home and help with utilities or move out.

I would also remind you that college for girls is relatively new. It was a big deal that my mom and her sisters attended college in the 1950's, they all ended up teaching, but college was not something that was openly encouraged for girls. Some schools did not allow girls to enroll or enroll in specific majors. While those hurdles have been overcome, there is still a gap in the percentage of boys in STEM related fields and girls. My kids Advanced Math class in ES was 2/3 boys. You cannot tell me that there was not an equal number of girls good at math but there were plenty of boys who were good at math whose parents pushed hard for them to be in Advanced Math. The various STEM camps and activities my kid participated in we 75% or more boys.

There was a push to make college for accessible to girls. Now the push is to balance out the STEM numbers because they are strangely imbalanced. Society as a whole is working through generations of stereotypes about boys and girls.

I went on a date with a 32 years old masters degree recipient in international affairs. Combined with undergrad this woman told me she had a $194k student loans balance.....yeah I ghosted her I am good.

Women go to college so they can have a future - they don't need a man anymore, they aren't trapped by bad marriages.

Men are more interested in law enforcement and military which provide a solid income and benefits and not require college.

Analogous fields for women (teaching and nursing) require college.

Plus men are generally more risk-taking and entrepreneurial so they are more comfortable forgoing extensive but often unnecessary credentialism.

Anonymous wrote:There are studies showing that when the concentration of women in any space (college, a career field, a sport or fandom) crosses a certain threshold, boys disengage entirely. The thing that used to be a male dominated space is now "too feminine" and boys quit. The threshold is really low - I forget but it was below 40% female participation where they saw this effect.

Why don't they import immigrants into the feminine fields?

Page 8

"In FY 2023, males accounted for a majority (71 percent) of all approved H-1B petitions and
females accounted for 29 percent. Among the countries shown in Figure 5, the proportion of
male to female H-1B beneficiaries for each country ranges from 75 percent male and 25 percent
female for Pakistan, to 36 percent male and ?"

https://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/document/reports/OLA_Signed_H-1B_Characteristics_Congressional_Report_FY2023.pdf

Maybe that's the problem.

There are studies showing that when the concentration of women in any space (college, a career field, a sport or fandom) crosses a certain threshold, boys disengage entirely. The thing that used to be a male dominated space is now "too feminine" and boys quit. The threshold is really low - I forget but it was below 40% female participation where they saw this effect.

Anonymous wrote:My son is a junior and my daughter is in 8th grade. My daughter is laser focused and convinced she is going to college and loves school in general. My son just wants to start working as soon as he is done with HS. He is not really interested in going to college. It's unfortunate because he is a bright kid and he is doing really well in math with minimal effort. He is averaging 93% in calculus as a junior.

When I look at data it's clear more women are going to college as opposed to men. Or, are we pushing women towards college and men away from college? As of now I think college grads still earn more than non college grads no?

I did well in calculus myself as a junior. I went to college. Well, because that's what you do with that and they said I'd make good money. This was just before the dot.com bubble then later I got my masters in 2008, oh but people wouldn't pay back their mortgages, so they gave me a perpetually lower salary, I would have been better off studying art. The point is there is substantial risk in academia these days. Even if your son had a full ride like I did there is still the opportunity cost. Imagine Gates or Zuckerberg completing their degree instead of starting businesses.

In reflection, I would have been fine doing something else. Smart motivated kid ya know, now I'm just a lazy middle-aged worker with an attitude. It's even on the horizon that I may have to find something else to do because of AI.

Meanwhile there are plenty of stories of people starting businesses doing millions of dollars in business. "I just started a cleaning business with a scrub pad and vinegar."

Anonymous wrote:These days there is more push for women. PP is correct that women are a little bit more likely to get a degree that is not very marketable.

Boys now get more push towards a trade or military than happened maybe 10-15 years ago. Not sure why.

+1. The reason is simple. Depress wages. Capital owners pay HS grade who went to trade school significantly less than college grads. At the same time they are going after unions further limiting blue collar workers bargaining ability for higher wages and better benefits.

These days there is more push for women. PP is correct that women are a little bit more likely to get a degree that is not very marketable.

Boys now get more push towards a trade or military than happened maybe 10-15 years ago. Not sure why.

Is he on social media? The bro -casts and manpower are all about not going to college.

The dead guy encouraged boys to skip college.

it's a tough world for women who don't go to college. but it may also be that your daughter and son just have different goals.

Women are paying a price though. They have far more student loans than men and a sizeable portion of them select majors with questionable employment prospects

Perhaps the push for women to be more independent is the reason college as opposed to trade school is often recommended for them.

Maybe that's also the reason more and more women re single late into their 30s? I don't have data to back up my claim but I will be very surprised if a 35 years old bachelor degree recipient can find 3 similarly educated men. And we know most women prefer to pair with men with similar educational achievement/career path/salary prospects etc. in other words the men who go to trade school are unlikely to pair with the women who went to graduate school.

I think both men and women should be offered the same exact path post HS. Let us not tell men to go become plumbers and women to go do pre med.

Anonymous wrote:It’s very individual. And many boys are tired of being stuck in a desk all day in school, and the idea of four more years of the same is painful to them.

So rather than an esoteric “are women more interested in college…” why not focus on *your* son and ask him if not college right after HS, what would he like to do. Gap year of working? Trade school? Military?

My DH fell into the “but he has an A in Calculus!” trap and pushed our oldest into not just a four-year college, but also a STEM major. Kid dropped out after one year to pursue what *he* wanted to do and has happily been doing it for nearly a decade.

Yes we are encouraging women to go to college. In fact, how often do you hear alternatives to college for women? It's as if that's the only path for them. They can go to trade school, they can join the military, they can follow the same paths men follow. I'm divorced and I didn't want to pay for my daughter's college because I could not afford it. But all my ex wife did was push our daughter towards college as if that was the only path.

It’s very individual. And many boys are tired of being stuck in a desk all day in school, and the idea of four more years of the same is painful to them.

So rather than an esoteric “are women more interested in college…” why not focus on *your* son and ask him if not college right after HS, what would he like to do. Gap year of working? Trade school? Military?

My DH fell into the “but he has an A in Calculus!” trap and pushed our oldest into not just a four-year college, but also a STEM major. Kid dropped out after one year to pursue what *he* wanted to do and has happily been doing it for nearly a decade.

My son is a junior and my daughter is in 8th grade. My daughter is laser focused and convinced she is going to college and loves school in general. My son just wants to start working as soon as he is done with HS. He is not really interested in going to college. It's unfortunate because he is a bright kid and he is doing really well in math with minimal effort. He is averaging 93% in calculus as a junior.

When I look at data it's clear more women are going to college as opposed to men. Or, are we pushing women towards college and men away from college? As of now I think college grads still earn more than non college grads no?