Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 14:46     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

Just text, suggest date. If he says no without suggesting an alternative and organizes it’d move on.
Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 13:59     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

Anonymous wrote:I don't think either of you are that into each other. You're probably both nice people but nobody is that busy to have not set up a meeting by now. And in my experience when you're both into each other it doesn't matter who did what when you're just happy to meet and chat

What you've got going on now seems exhausting. Seems like you both want something else but are too polite to just let this go


OP here- and note sure I agree with this. The conversation we had was very interesting and easy and I there’s definitely there’s mutual attraction.

I believe it maybe the case of what a couple of earlier posters mentioned that this is online dating after all, and I must admit there’s a larger pool for man to choose from, plus he might not be a man who pursues which would be an issue for me. I just have to accept that and move on if I don’t hear from him.

Thank you all who responded!
Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 13:08     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

I don't think either of you are that into each other. You're probably both nice people but nobody is that busy to have not set up a meeting by now. And in my experience when you're both into each other it doesn't matter who did what when you're just happy to meet and chat

What you've got going on now seems exhausting. Seems like you both want something else but are too polite to just let this go
Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 12:26     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, if the guy isn’t doing everything you want at this stage, move on. It’s not going to get better.


Everything? I get not dating someone who doesn't check most boxes but every last little thing?

Good luck in that case!


Men will be on their best behavior at the outset.

If they don’t meet the standard at that point, they never will.


He's not getting drunk and running over cats.

He's juggling apps and texting.


You get what you allow.

Good luck!



This. You want someone that is interested enough that you are not questioning it.
Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 12:25     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

I wouldn't text and I would move on. I personally don't do a lot of messaging back and forth, lets meet (I am a woman). I am on the apps to get off the apps and actually meet people not have textlationships.
Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 12:15     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, if the guy isn’t doing everything you want at this stage, move on. It’s not going to get better.


Everything? I get not dating someone who doesn't check most boxes but every last little thing?

Good luck in that case!


Men will be on their best behavior at the outset.

If they don’t meet the standard at that point, they never will.


He's not getting drunk and running over cats.

He's juggling apps and texting.


You get what you allow.

Good luck!

Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 12:06     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, if the guy isn’t doing everything you want at this stage, move on. It’s not going to get better.


Everything? I get not dating someone who doesn't check most boxes but every last little thing?

Good luck in that case!


Men will be on their best behavior at the outset.

If they don’t meet the standard at that point, they never will.


He's not getting drunk and running over cats.

He's juggling apps and texting.
Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 12:03     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, if the guy isn’t doing everything you want at this stage, move on. It’s not going to get better.


Everything? I get not dating someone who doesn't check most boxes but every last little thing?

Good luck in that case!


Men will be on their best behavior at the outset.

If they don’t meet the standard at that point, they never will.
Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 11:46     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, if the guy isn’t doing everything you want at this stage, move on. It’s not going to get better.


Everything? I get not dating someone who doesn't check most boxes but every last little thing?

Good luck in that case!
Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 11:22     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

Yeah, if the guy isn’t doing everything you want at this stage, move on. It’s not going to get better.
Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 11:20     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

Yeah .. You need to relax.
Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 11:18     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

You are REALLY overthinking this.
Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 11:17     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

When folks are on line dating they are interacting and meeting with many many people in the dating pipeline.

Let him make the call or text.
Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 11:14     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

Anonymous wrote:I matched with a guy and we messaged for a bit, but then he stopped responding to my last message. Later, he reached out to apologize, saying he’d gotten busy. I saw the message but wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue the conversation, though I didn’t unmatch—so I guess part of me was still interested.

He followed up again with a really nice voice message, which won me over. We messaged a bit and had a video call. We talked about meeting in person, and I said I’d share my phone number on the app. I did and he replied with his number, which I found odd, since he already had mine. Why not just text me?

Anyway, I mentioned that I appreciated how busy he is, adding that my time is limited too—but I didn’t mean to suggest I didn’t want to hear from him soon.

Now I’m wondering: should I text him? I don’t want to seem desperate or like I’ll be the one initiating everything. I want a man who’s willing to pursue me.

Thoughts?


He may be a great guy, and he may like you, but if you want a man who pursues you, he’s not your guy.

I’m like you - I prefer a man who pursues - and I learned that most guys will not, whether they’re not into you, it’s not their personality, they’re scared, etc. The trick is rather than trying to turn one specific guy into the guy you want, you should be ready to move on quickly if things aren’t progressing.
Anonymous
Post 11/09/2025 11:05     Subject: Online dating - should I reach out or wait?

I matched with a guy and we messaged for a bit, but then he stopped responding to my last message. Later, he reached out to apologize, saying he’d gotten busy. I saw the message but wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue the conversation, though I didn’t unmatch—so I guess part of me was still interested.

He followed up again with a really nice voice message, which won me over. We messaged a bit and had a video call. We talked about meeting in person, and I said I’d share my phone number on the app. I did and he replied with his number, which I found odd, since he already had mine. Why not just text me?

Anyway, I mentioned that I appreciated how busy he is, adding that my time is limited too—but I didn’t mean to suggest I didn’t want to hear from him soon.

Now I’m wondering: should I text him? I don’t want to seem desperate or like I’ll be the one initiating everything. I want a man who’s willing to pursue me.

Thoughts?