Anonymous
11/03/2025 11:59
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Just ship it to him.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 11:58
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Most people suck.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 11:57
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Anonymous wrote:Wow it’s crazy he won’t tell you where the house is. He might be shacking up with someone.
He might. It’s a weird mystery. What’s more likely is that he just sees this as part of the “privacy” he thinks he got after filing. In spite of not having a final decree or settlement yet and in spite of us having shared property and children, he has believed since the day he filed that he is already permanently separate from me and has zero obligations to his family. We are dealing with financial discovery right now and he’s having a hissy fit because he thinks his bank statements and paystubs are “private” no matter what his attorney tells him.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 11:53
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why would you box them up and leave them where the children have to step over and around them. Keep your anger and feelings away from your kids - trying to make them have a constant reminder of what he did to you is petty and harmful to the kids.
It is also still his house unless you have bought him out of it. DId he ask you to pack up his belongings?
Sounds like neither of you are thinking of the kids and both are just mad at each other and trying to inconvinience the other.
Hardly that. I’ve boxed what I can in his office but the kids see the stuff every time they go to use the printer. My attorney suggested moving the stuff to the garage but they would see it there even more frequently.
Per temporary orders, I have sole use of our marital house and have the ability to file a motion for him to remove his stuff. But that’s the legal part. I just don’t understand the psychology of not wanting your stuff when you have a whole separate house that’s yours and yours alone. What’s even more strange and a separate thread is that he refuses to tell me where it is, won’t tell the children where it is, and is trying to get custody but apparently (per his attorney from a 1:1 conversation with my attorney) “doesn’t have time” to set up rooms for the kids.
It’s bonkers. I think he filed but somehow thought I would just pack my stuff, sell the house for him, and disappear from his life with zero hassle or effort. Now that he realizes that’s not how it works he seems exhausted and overwhelmed.
The sooner you stop trying to "figure him out" the happier you will be. You'll know his address eventually then you can just mail the boxes to him or drop the stuff off.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 11:53
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Um, OP, having seen your update - I doubt your ex has a house. He's probably living with an affair partner or couch surfing, but saying he has a house because he is trying to get partial custody and wants to appear stable.
As to your question, I can just tell you that my husband's ex did the same thing. She left nearly all her stuff at the house other than clothes. Apparently she wanted to start anew. I mean she even left stuff like medical records! And her engagement ring!
My husband never cleaned it all out so *I* had to do it. He had a provision in his divorce agreement that she had until a certain date to come get her stuff and after a certain date, everything in the house was presumed his. I moved in four years after this date, so we decided we had the right to toss it all.
He plans to sell the engagement ring for his kids' college tuition.
As to your question, I can just tell you that my husband's ex did the same thing. She left nearly all her stuff at the house other than clothes. Apparently she wanted to start anew. I mean she even left stuff like medical records! And her engagement ring!
My husband never cleaned it all out so *I* had to do it. He had a provision in his divorce agreement that she had until a certain date to come get her stuff and after a certain date, everything in the house was presumed his. I moved in four years after this date, so we decided we had the right to toss it all.
He plans to sell the engagement ring for his kids' college tuition.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 11:48
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why would you box them up and leave them where the children have to step over and around them. Keep your anger and feelings away from your kids - trying to make them have a constant reminder of what he did to you is petty and harmful to the kids.
It is also still his house unless you have bought him out of it. DId he ask you to pack up his belongings?
Sounds like neither of you are thinking of the kids and both are just mad at each other and trying to inconvinience the other.
Hardly that. I’ve boxed what I can in his office but the kids see the stuff every time they go to use the printer. My attorney suggested moving the stuff to the garage but they would see it there even more frequently.
Per temporary orders, I have sole use of our marital house and have the ability to file a motion for him to remove his stuff. But that’s the legal part. I just don’t understand the psychology of not wanting your stuff when you have a whole separate house that’s yours and yours alone. What’s even more strange and a separate thread is that he refuses to tell me where it is, won’t tell the children where it is, and is trying to get custody but apparently (per his attorney from a 1:1 conversation with my attorney) “doesn’t have time” to set up rooms for the kids.
It’s bonkers. I think he filed but somehow thought I would just pack my stuff, sell the house for him, and disappear from his life with zero hassle or effort. Now that he realizes that’s not how it works he seems exhausted and overwhelmed.
Just file the motion and quit being dramatic pretending that the kids are upset.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 11:48
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Wow it’s crazy he won’t tell you where the house is. He might be shacking up with someone.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 11:47
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Anonymous wrote:Because he is petty and likes inconveniencing you. Or because he thinks you're still his administrative assistant and house manager. Sometimes men have a hard time wrapping their head around the idea that you're still parenting but no longer doing wife-work.
I would announce a time, drop the boxes on his porch, and be done with it. Saying he doesn't have room is deranged, he has a house.
Legally I can’t dump his stuff unattended but also per my post below, he refuses to tell me where his house is. So now the debate is whether I spend the money to file a motion to force him to share his address.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 11:46
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Anonymous wrote:Why would you box them up and leave them where the children have to step over and around them. Keep your anger and feelings away from your kids - trying to make them have a constant reminder of what he did to you is petty and harmful to the kids.
It is also still his house unless you have bought him out of it. DId he ask you to pack up his belongings?
Sounds like neither of you are thinking of the kids and both are just mad at each other and trying to inconvinience the other.
Hardly that. I’ve boxed what I can in his office but the kids see the stuff every time they go to use the printer. My attorney suggested moving the stuff to the garage but they would see it there even more frequently.
Per temporary orders, I have sole use of our marital house and have the ability to file a motion for him to remove his stuff. But that’s the legal part. I just don’t understand the psychology of not wanting your stuff when you have a whole separate house that’s yours and yours alone. What’s even more strange and a separate thread is that he refuses to tell me where it is, won’t tell the children where it is, and is trying to get custody but apparently (per his attorney from a 1:1 conversation with my attorney) “doesn’t have time” to set up rooms for the kids.
It’s bonkers. I think he filed but somehow thought I would just pack my stuff, sell the house for him, and disappear from his life with zero hassle or effort. Now that he realizes that’s not how it works he seems exhausted and overwhelmed.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 10:40
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Why would you box them up and leave them where the children have to step over and around them. Keep your anger and feelings away from your kids - trying to make them have a constant reminder of what he did to you is petty and harmful to the kids.
It is also still his house unless you have bought him out of it. DId he ask you to pack up his belongings?
Sounds like neither of you are thinking of the kids and both are just mad at each other and trying to inconvinience the other.
It is also still his house unless you have bought him out of it. DId he ask you to pack up his belongings?
Sounds like neither of you are thinking of the kids and both are just mad at each other and trying to inconvinience the other.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 10:31
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Does he still own 1/2 of the house? If so, he can use it as a storage facility.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 10:24
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Because he is petty and likes inconveniencing you. Or because he thinks you're still his administrative assistant and house manager. Sometimes men have a hard time wrapping their head around the idea that you're still parenting but no longer doing wife-work.
I would announce a time, drop the boxes on his porch, and be done with it. Saying he doesn't have room is deranged, he has a house.
I would announce a time, drop the boxes on his porch, and be done with it. Saying he doesn't have room is deranged, he has a house.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 10:05
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
He doesn’t care about what’s inconvenient for you. Sorry OP.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 10:05
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
Because you want him to.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 10:04
Subject: Why won’t he take his stuff?
DH filed for divorce and moved out, first to our vacation house and now he is in a rented house. He is coming this weekend to get “some clothes” but has said he won’t be taking the 6 boxes of his other possessions (books, mugs, important paperwork, personal items) that I’ve boxed up for him because “there isn’t space”. My kids are upset seeing his stuff and it’s in the way.
I understand that I can legally compel him to take this stuff, so not asking about how to go about that. But I am at a loss for why he wouldn’t just come get all of his clothes and personal items if there really isn’t that much of it and he has an entire house of his own.
Any idea why he is being like this?
I understand that I can legally compel him to take this stuff, so not asking about how to go about that. But I am at a loss for why he wouldn’t just come get all of his clothes and personal items if there really isn’t that much of it and he has an entire house of his own.
Any idea why he is being like this?