**for break

I slept that much when I had mono. I didn’t really realize anything was wrong until I came home from break.

I’d have daughter start by expressing concern to her roommate. “Are you OK? Do you think you may be sick? Can I get you some soup?”

If roommate blows her off, then ask RA what to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't meddle. Tell your daughter not to meddle.

Not good advice when someone is away from home for the first time and having a mental health crisis…

How do you know it's her first time away from home?

Anonymous wrote:As a mom I would want to know if my kid was sleeping this much and likely very depressed. Please do reach out to her parent. I’m sorry for your daughter too. That’s not easy. I would want to request a room transfer.

Yes! All you don’t meddle people, what if this was your child or your niece or nephew? This young woman could be severely depressed or have a different undiagnosed medical condition.

OP. This is a terrible situation for your daughter to be in, but she must go the the RA or housing office. She can explain the situation AND request a transfer. This way your daughter will not receive any backlash from the roommate.

I hope things work out for your daughter.

Anonymous wrote:Don't meddle. Tell your daughter not to meddle.

Not good advice when someone is away from home for the first time and having a mental health crisis…

As a mom I would want to know if my kid was sleeping this much and likely very depressed. Please do reach out to her parent. I’m sorry for your daughter too. That’s not easy. I would want to request a room transfer.

Don't meddle. Tell your daughter not to meddle.

depression. Your child shoud express concern to RA.

OP here.
Yeah, it's hard to know what to do. I talked to my daughter this morning and suggested the RA but apparently she's not engaged at all with the floor and also my daughter is afraid of the roommate getting angry with her (because it will be clear that she reached out to the RA). it's most likely that the roommate is depressed and not in an good head space. Her sleep pattern is now 18-20 hours every day including the past 2 when everyone was going out for Halloween things (the girl was in bed last night 3-8pm). it's difficult on my kid because for instance, today she came back to the room at 3pm (after being out of the room since 8am) and the roommate was still sleeping and yelled at my kid for making noise. After going to bed at 7pm last night.
Ugh.
I told my daughter to look on the bright side that this is better than a roommate who is up and awake 24/7. It's just worrisome.

My freshman year was in a quad and one of our roommates was like this. Turned out she was severely depressed and homesick. We had to get the RA involved and she received a lot of assistance from campus services. She ended up back on track after Christmas and things did work out.

As a mom, I don't know that I'd betray my child in calling the other mom but I would really encourage my kid to report the situation to the powers that be.

Sounds like your daughter and roommate are not close--otherwise, I assume, she would have asked her if she's okay. Maybe talk to the RA and ask her/him for advice on how to handle. I would not get involved here, but definitely sounds like there might be an issue and this is when your DD needs to step up. Not her responsibility to fix, but she's in a position to alert someone.

I was similar freshman year. Very depressed and homesick. I ended up transferring closer to home and going home on weekends.

MYOB

Have your daughter reach out to the RA or if there is a place to ask for help.
I would be very concerned about depression.
This was my DS last year but he did not have a roommate so no one escalated the situation.

My daughter's roommate is very nice but low energy at baseline. All good except lately it's turned into her sleeping 18+ hours per day and not really engaging much with the outside world aside from going to class. She'll sleep in to 2pm, get up for 2 hours and go back to bed for 4 hours. Wake up and eat and go back to bed.

I met the mom at drop off and she is super nice. We've talked on the phone for a few times and we text back and forth with any pictures we receive of the kids.

Would you reach out about this? I would want to know if it was my kid but I don't want to overstep.