Parents ^

If you’re a working capable adult. Please move out of your pants home.

Zero reason for you to be there.

Anonymous wrote:Is it toxic/ or manipulative for parents to on one hand say that they dont want me to move out because they will be so sad and then the next day cuss me out saying im too old to act a certain way and its time to grow up.

This goes on all the time. It has to be mental abuse right? Cause i dont feel great

Are you able to fully support yourself or do they have to subsidize your life? You can pay rent, utilities, insurance, car, college, etc.?

My parents adored me and were very sad when I moved out. That being said, I wasn’t allowed to move home once I left for college. It just wasn’t an option.

What kind of adult takes this kind of abuse?? If you’re 18+ move out! There is no need to take it. Either go off to college and live in a dorm or get roommates. Dh and I both lived with roommates before we married.

No, it's a toxic co-dependency.
You are just as much to blame as they are. One of you needs to liberate the other by moving out.

Not knowing the full story, I would guess that your parents will be sad when you move out. They will miss you. That doesn't mean that they don't feel frustrated with you sometimes. You love them, but you still get mad at them, frustrated by them, etc. They might be worried that by living at home, you are not taking the next steps in adulthood. When you don't do certain things, it causes concern. You cannot control their feelings, but you can control your future. Think about where you would like to be in the next year and what that goal looks like, and then write down a few steps that you can take toward your independence.

Its manipulation sure. Move out.

I think you’ve posted before. Instead of getting bogged down in terms (toxic, abusive) that aren’t well defined and that we couldn’t measure based on the information you’ve provide, let me ask this: what do you think you think you need? What do you think your next step is? To move out?

Once you define this, a follow up question: what do you need in order to take this step?

Did you post a few weeks ago saying your mother didn't want you to move out?

Your mother is mentally unwell, and you need to ignore everything she says and focus on moving out.

Anonymous wrote:Is it toxic/ or manipulative for parents to on one hand say that they dont want me to move out because they will be so sad and then the next day cuss me out saying[b] im too old to act a certain way and its time to grow up.

This goes on all the time. It has to be mental abuse right? Cause i dont feel great

If you are an adult... and you are behaving like a kid/teenager... then YES, you are too old to be acting up!

IF the environment is "toxic" then, simple.... move out!

Parents being sad is no reason to ruin your life.

It's rude to cuss, for sure. But they can want an adult child to live with them and also want that adult child to behave as an adult. No inconsistency there.

My first question is, why DON’T you move out? How old are you? Is this a time you are investing in education, or in saving money for an apartment, or in helping your elderly parents?

I need context.

Is it toxic/ or manipulative for parents to on one hand say that they dont want me to move out because they will be so sad and then the next day cuss me out saying im too old to act a certain way and its time to grow up.

This goes on all the time. It has to be mental abuse right? Cause i dont feel great