Anonymous
10/27/2025 22:11
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
Ok, I come at this as the parent of a late developing swimmer who is now 19.
My kid was NOT a super fast age group swimmer. He got hypothermia swimming outside during covid because he was so thin that he couldn't keep himself warm without a good heater and access to a locker room. At 13, he was about 5'4 and 95 lbs. But he LOVED swimming. He was the kid who showed up at EVERY practice and worked hard. He'd celebrate every single second he dropped, every time he mastered some technique that his coach taught him.
In middle school, this kid was B/BB swimmer. Fast forward a few years and he had NCSA cuts. (By the end of his senior year, my kid was 6'2 and 155. The swimming kept the weight off for sure,) I call that 13& over group the "men against the boys" group. You really have to tell your kid that he's swimming against himself and celebrate HIS improvements. What is he happy about? No one is going to drop at every meet.
Everyone's hormones kick in at a different time. Watching puberty in a boy drove home that testosterone really is a drug! If the other kids get that kick now and he's keeping up, he will be pleasantly surprised when his kick comes at 16.
My kid was NOT a super fast age group swimmer. He got hypothermia swimming outside during covid because he was so thin that he couldn't keep himself warm without a good heater and access to a locker room. At 13, he was about 5'4 and 95 lbs. But he LOVED swimming. He was the kid who showed up at EVERY practice and worked hard. He'd celebrate every single second he dropped, every time he mastered some technique that his coach taught him.
In middle school, this kid was B/BB swimmer. Fast forward a few years and he had NCSA cuts. (By the end of his senior year, my kid was 6'2 and 155. The swimming kept the weight off for sure,) I call that 13& over group the "men against the boys" group. You really have to tell your kid that he's swimming against himself and celebrate HIS improvements. What is he happy about? No one is going to drop at every meet.
Everyone's hormones kick in at a different time. Watching puberty in a boy drove home that testosterone really is a drug! If the other kids get that kick now and he's keeping up, he will be pleasantly surprised when his kick comes at 16.
Anonymous
10/27/2025 22:05
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
Honestly, if he still has A+ times, this is in his head. Don’t assume the grass is always greener. He should just try to appreciate the body that he has and work hard at getting stronger. There is no guarantee that he won’t hit a growth spurt and loose some of his form, etc. It isn’t all roses. Learn to love the body that he has.
Anonymous
10/27/2025 22:01
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
Anonymous wrote:DS 13.5 is really struggling mentally with swimming. He is late to puberty and still looks and sounds like a young boy, while all the swimmers in his practice group are growing tall, strong, and hairy, and blowing him away in the pool. He loves swimming more than anything and is still very good, but he is becoming more and more discouraged that he cannot keep up physically with the earlier developers. To put it in perspective, DS is in the fastest group for his age, so many of the boys are there because their development has given them the physical strength to get the necessary cuts. I try to remind DS that even though he is a boy among men, he is STILL hanging in there and not far behind, still getting A+ times and NCSA AG cuts, and that when he finally starts developing he will see the same massive improvements the others are getting with development. It has just been a slog the past few years, inching along with tiny marginal improvements when other boys have really gone through the huge leaps that testosterone brings in the swimming/sports world. How can I encourage him to hang in there, especially when coaches seem to value the early developers above all and he feels like he is working hard every day for very little improvement?
Can he talk to the coach for advice, perhaps without mentioning the mental struggle (not sure on that part, the coach has probably noticed some of that struggle anyway)? Maybe just the outward facts: Dr says he is slower to develop that some kids but Dr thinks 6 ft to 6 ft 2 when he is done growing. If it is an experienced coach, they will have seen this scenario many times I bet. It could even be that the coach thinks he is right where he should be right now given his physical maturity.
Anonymous
10/27/2025 21:58
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just let him swim for fun and stop pushign competative.
That’s a very simplistic and dismissive response. Some of these kids care very much about their sport and by 13, it can be a major part of their life, social circle, and identity. And timing of physical development is something that can’t be controlled. Dismissing a child’s concerns and feelings is helpful to no one.
Different poster, but I'm not sure why you're taking umbrage. Having the kid keep practicing but not sign up for meets is good advice.
If your goal is to continue being a competitive swimmer just opting out of the competitions isn’t a realistic suggestion.
Sure it is. It's the practicing where progress is made. And it's only the meets where he's 'falling behind.' Keep the practice and pause the meets until either his confidence comes back or he grows some.
Anonymous
10/27/2025 21:45
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just let him swim for fun and stop pushign competative.
That’s a very simplistic and dismissive response. Some of these kids care very much about their sport and by 13, it can be a major part of their life, social circle, and identity. And timing of physical development is something that can’t be controlled. Dismissing a child’s concerns and feelings is helpful to no one.
Different poster, but I'm not sure why you're taking umbrage. Having the kid keep practicing but not sign up for meets is good advice.
If your goal is to continue being a competitive swimmer just opting out of the competitions isn’t a realistic suggestion.
Anonymous
10/27/2025 21:44
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
I have a daughter, but we are seeing this play out in her practice group. The group is generally 13-15 year olds and the boys that dominate are the ones that have already hit their growth spurt and look like they are 17-18 years old. The cut times for the boys in this age range are also geared toward those who are already physically mature. There is nothing the other boys can do but try to hang on until they hit their growth spurt. You say your son is projected to be 6 ft at least, so he just needs to hang in there. Focus on his technique and doing the little things correctly and try not to worry about what the kid next to him who has already hit 6 feet is doing.
Anonymous
10/27/2025 21:40
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just let him swim for fun and stop pushign competative.
That’s a very simplistic and dismissive response. Some of these kids care very much about their sport and by 13, it can be a major part of their life, social circle, and identity. And timing of physical development is something that can’t be controlled. Dismissing a child’s concerns and feelings is helpful to no one.
Different poster, but I'm not sure why you're taking umbrage. Having the kid keep practicing but not sign up for meets is good advice.
Anonymous
10/27/2025 21:36
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
My DS was a late developer. He’s 6’1” now and played a different sport. There was a period where he struggled against the boys who were early developers. He wasn’t the only late developer in his friend group so there was about of support.
What I found is that the late developers adapt. They became more technical to keep up and dont rely upon their size/physicality. Once the late developers caught up, they exceeded the early developers who didn’t have as strong of technical skills. It’s a painful period, but could work to their advantage if they focus on the technical skills in the near term.
What I found is that the late developers adapt. They became more technical to keep up and dont rely upon their size/physicality. Once the late developers caught up, they exceeded the early developers who didn’t have as strong of technical skills. It’s a painful period, but could work to their advantage if they focus on the technical skills in the near term.
Anonymous
10/27/2025 21:22
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
Anonymous wrote:How tall do you expect him to get?
Doctor’s calculator estimated 6’0-6’2 final height. Right now he is only about 5’4.5 and very thin and boyish (no apparent physical changes though I know the first signs aren’t necessarily outwardly visible). He’s about 100 pounds.
Anonymous
10/27/2025 21:13
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just let him swim for fun and stop pushign competative.
That’s a very simplistic and dismissive response. Some of these kids care very much about their sport and by 13, it can be a major part of their life, social circle, and identity. And timing of physical development is something that can’t be controlled. Dismissing a child’s concerns and feelings is helpful to no one.
No, come HS, many slow down as they have other interests. Get private lessons a few times a week.
Anonymous
10/27/2025 21:10
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
How tall do you expect him to get?
Anonymous
10/27/2025 21:04
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
Water polo? Open water?
I was in a similar situation and moved onto synchro swimming.
I was in a similar situation and moved onto synchro swimming.
Anonymous
10/27/2025 21:02
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
Anonymous wrote:Just let him swim for fun and stop pushign competative.
That’s a very simplistic and dismissive response. Some of these kids care very much about their sport and by 13, it can be a major part of their life, social circle, and identity. And timing of physical development is something that can’t be controlled. Dismissing a child’s concerns and feelings is helpful to no one.
Anonymous
10/27/2025 20:55
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
Just let him swim for fun and stop pushign competative.
Anonymous
10/27/2025 20:53
Subject: Late developer boy can't keep up
DS 13.5 is really struggling mentally with swimming. He is late to puberty and still looks and sounds like a young boy, while all the swimmers in his practice group are growing tall, strong, and hairy, and blowing him away in the pool. He loves swimming more than anything and is still very good, but he is becoming more and more discouraged that he cannot keep up physically with the earlier developers. To put it in perspective, DS is in the fastest group for his age, so many of the boys are there because their development has given them the physical strength to get the necessary cuts. I try to remind DS that even though he is a boy among men, he is STILL hanging in there and not far behind, still getting A+ times and NCSA AG cuts, and that when he finally starts developing he will see the same massive improvements the others are getting with development. It has just been a slog the past few years, inching along with tiny marginal improvements when other boys have really gone through the huge leaps that testosterone brings in the swimming/sports world. How can I encourage him to hang in there, especially when coaches seem to value the early developers above all and he feels like he is working hard every day for very little improvement?