Don’t you dare do that to your poor child

+1 to the endroc first. My son went to one at children’s and he ran every test imaginable to make sure there wasn’t some sort of issue. He did say this could be an option, since he was 17.

My son ended up losing weight through a strict diet and exercise program but what he’s doing might not be sustainable. I hope it is, for him, but it’s extreme and I admire his will power at his age.

After years of struggle, DH and I are on zepbound and able to lose weight with diet and exercise. We were both obese and I didn’t eat a lot of junk. We have another child who eats more than our son who is very skinny.

The way you help them is by recognizing the excess energy intake isn’t some magical thing coming from nowhere. If you want to help, you need to face the physics. Too much energy in the system from too much intake.

Lying about that to yourself isn’t helping, and you are setting somebody up for a lifetime of health problems by hiding from the truth.

Anonymous wrote:Does she have PCOS? I’d start with a GYN. Also you all probably don’t eat very healthily if you all are severely overweight.

OP - I said in the original post that we have had PCOS ruled out. She's been seeing a gyn for several years.

We do eat healthily. I am not overweight and neither is the rest of my family. DH's parents were as is his sister. They actually didn't eat "badly" either at all but his parents were French and did consume a lot of fat in their diets and I think the US food system reacted badly to them because they weren't overweight before they moved to the US despite eating essentially the same foods. DH wasn't overweight for years but then switched jobs in 2020 and began having a lot more stress and less time to exercise and eat at home.

Happy to give you a sample "diet" of what my 16yo eats because I can guarantee that it isn't about her current diet.

Breakfast - nf greek yogurt with raspberries, a bit of granola or nuts/seeds for crunch, or 2 eggs with avocado, slice of ezekiel toast, or similar.
Lunch is usually a salad with protein, or a grain bowl. She does eat out for lunch most days because she's allowed to leave school for lunch. She will also often take leftovers for lunch.
Dinner is a protein (chicken, salmon, pork tenderloin, occasionally lean steak like hangar) with 2-3 vegetables such as roasted broccoli, green beans, squash, etc. Occasionally sweet potatoes or winter squash, sometimes something like a stir fry with rice.

She doesn't snack, really ever. She's never been a snacker. She does occasionally have a bit of ice cream or sorbet after dinner, or air popped popcorn with seasoning, or some chocolate (good quality dark chocolate and not a lot).

I did ask for experience and not judgment but I don't think you can help yourselves. I'm trying to help my child here, not create lifelong complexes or set her up for failure.

Anonymous wrote:I always wondered why people gain it back. Assuming your stomach has shrunk and doesn’t need as much food to keep it full can’t you keep eating the same portions and still maintain?

It’s because they still eat in an unhealthy way. They always think and say they’re eating healthy but they actually don’t know what that means. Especially when the family is fat like in OP case. They compare to obese people and say they’re doing well instead of comparing to someone who is losing weight and seeing what they are eating. I guarantee that if we saw every single thing OP teen is eating, we would see exactly what the problem is.

Does she have PCOS? I’d start with a GYN. Also you all probably don’t eat very healthily if you all are severely overweight.

I always wondered why people gain it back. Assuming your stomach has shrunk and doesn’t need as much food to keep it full can’t you keep eating the same portions and still maintain?

Anonymous wrote:I would have no issue with it except it stops working if you stop using it and she’ll regain. At 16, that’s a recipe for failure with insurance and cost issues for decades to come.

But if you’re at a lower weight and have better eating habits that have been adopted while taking it wouldn’t you be able to maintain? I have no experience but does everyone stay on it forever or els they gain back?

I would have no issue with it except it stops working if you stop using it and she’ll regain. At 16, that’s a recipe for failure with insurance and cost issues for decades to come.

Anonymous wrote:Talk to her pediatrician and get a referral to an endocrinologist who specializes in obesity. Get all the labs done, then broach the subject.

One thing you didn't mention was if she exercises. She needs to be active - not for weight loss, but for general health. I get it, I struggle with this too, I hate exercising. Maybe you can go on a walk with her a couple nights a week to start?

I’m honestly not sure her ped would do a referral and she’s had labs done with the gyn but I’ll look into an endocrinologist.

She is very active - dances almost every day (not a form of dance that comes with a side of body image issues) and walks at least a few miles daily due to walking to/from school. She does yoga and core training on her own as well most days. She doesn’t do a ton of additional exercise but I’m working on that. Of course as a hs junior the one thing she doesn’t have is free time.

She doesn’t have access to tons of unhealthy foods at home because I don’t buy them.

I’d seek out an endocrinologist or other specialist too. I don’t see why your child should not have access to medication they can improve their health.

Anonymous wrote:Talk to her pediatrician and get a referral to an endocrinologist who specializes in obesity. Get all the labs done, then broach the subject.

One thing you didn't mention was if she exercises. She needs to be active - not for weight loss, but for general health. I get it, I struggle with this too, I hate exercising. Maybe you can go on a walk with her a couple nights a week to start?

+1. And while she’s 16 years old and presumably has some agency and ability to buy food independently, you say she doesn’t do well in watching what she eats. Do you provide her with an enabling environment at home that doesn’t have a lot of junk food for her to grab? It “easier” to avoid eating a 500 calorie dessert than exercising for 90 minutes to burn calories-and that’s a big part of why people are successful on GlP1s-the eating urges are diminished.

I randomly found Dr Lustig talking about GLP-1s on diary of a ceo on YouTube. Watch that and consider the wisdom of starting these meds for this issue this young in someone’s life. The excess energy intake is coming from somewhere - it doesn’t materialize out of thin air - and there is a reason for it that can be solved with enough diligence. Fixing that now is critical for the next 60-70 years.

Talk to her pediatrician and get a referral to an endocrinologist who specializes in obesity. Get all the labs done, then broach the subject.

One thing you didn't mention was if she exercises. She needs to be active - not for weight loss, but for general health. I get it, I struggle with this too, I hate exercising. Maybe you can go on a walk with her a couple nights a week to start?

My dd is 16 and has been struggling with her weight since @age 9. She’s 5’9, 220lbs and really wants to lose weight but she is terrified of developing an eating disorder and doesn’t do a great job of watching what she eats although she mostly eats very healthy and eats less than my other two younger children and always has. We’ve done meal planning and recording and she doesn’t want to become obsessive about it. Trust me when I say she really does eat extremely well for a teen.

DH has been on zepbound for a little over a year, has lost @40lbs and is so happy. He had always been relatively slim but struggled to keep it that way and had gained 40ish lbs in the last 5 years. He’s also touting the benefits of the drugs having positive effects on his cholesterol, A1C, etc. His family all are overweight or obese and it seems those genes have passed onto one of our kids.

DD also struggles with heavy and debilitating periods and we’ve ruled out pcos but birth control isn’t helping. I do wonder if she lost some weight if she would feel better with regard to her periods as well. Her gyn did agree that losing weight could help but didn’t have anything else to say about it.

DH thinks we should try to get her on one of the glp1s but I’m concerned about its affect on an adolescent (though I do think she’s finished growing or close to it, she’s had her period for 3 years).
Does anyone have experience with a teen going on one? I know her regular pediatrician wouldn’t prescribe it so I don’t even know where to look or what kind of doctor might recommend it for a teen.

And please no judgement - this is simply one of the channels I am exploring and one of the many places I’m going for advice.