Anonymous wrote:My husband is building a technology oriented project (not his career field.) He thinks it will eventually get us tons of money. I have serious doubts since he has no connections to this industry and really few connections in general. He's unemployed. He's autistic/adhd and has gotten fired from all his jobs. I just got his credit card bill which has 1400 in purchases for this project in one month, after many months and who knows how much money. Clearly we need an agreed upon budget. What would be reasonable? he thinks it is going to generate income and I do not.

I consult for investors on evaluating technology projects, and this sound like it might be a hobbyist idea. Not that it couldn’t be practical, but too often the inventors get caught in this loop of thinking their technology is the product. It isn’t. The product comes first, and how the product gets to market is crucial. Building a demo in his garage is a decent first step, but that’s when his customer base is just him. If he has no entrepreneurial experience, he needs to onboard someone to provide that to get out of the garage.

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t matter if DH would make a fortunate in this project or not because you don’t support him in the endeavor.

Whether that is okay in your marriage is for a separate post but as someone who started an 8 figure company from nothing, I can tell you that it would have been impossible if DH didn’t believe in me. Looking back it was utterly crazy. But we were young and he had complete faith in me.

This. OP do you not believe your husband will succeed because you think he's lazy or foolish due to his ADHD? It's hard to know what tech idea will be successful or not and a lot of niche hobbyist software/apps can generate enough to recoup the costs. ADHD people are very creative and can sometimes see a need for something no one else has seen, but he will definitely need spousal support.

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t matter if DH would make a fortunate in this project or not because you don’t support him in the endeavor.

Whether that is okay in your marriage is for a separate post but as someone who started an 8 figure company from nothing, I can tell you that it would have been impossible if DH didn’t believe in me. Looking back it was utterly crazy. But we were young and he had complete faith in me.

Good for you, pp! What type of business is it? Does it use your education? Was your DH wealthy first with something else? Many men would not support their wives on a risky venture.

Agreed with "make a business plan" and "set a budget."

Do you have money to essentially gamble on this? Does it have educational and/or entertainment value that can at least partially justify it, even if there is no financial return? Is there a chance that it might lead to something patentable or some other IP with value to others?

I'm not opposed to this if you have the money, he has the time, and it doesn't distract from his job search. If he enjoys the work, it might be cheaper than taking a vacation. Autistic and ADHD people are often good inventors, so that is likely a positive in this case.

Do not let it interfere with your ability to pay your bills and put food on the table. If those are at risk, then he needs to stop now.

First he needs to find about income source. Then he can work on his dream project. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

It doesn’t matter if DH would make a fortunate in this project or not because you don’t support him in the endeavor.

Whether that is okay in your marriage is for a separate post but as someone who started an 8 figure company from nothing, I can tell you that it would have been impossible if DH didn’t believe in me. Looking back it was utterly crazy. But we were young and he had complete faith in me.

He can Uber or doordash or something and use that money on his pet project

Anonymous wrote:My husband is building a technology oriented project (not his career field.) He thinks it will eventually get us tons of money. I have serious doubts since he has no connections to this industry and really few connections in general. He's unemployed. He's autistic/adhd and has gotten fired from all his jobs. I just got his credit card bill which has 1400 in purchases for this project in one month, after many months and who knows how much money. Clearly we need an agreed upon budget. What would be reasonable? he thinks it is going to generate income and I do not.

What kind of jobs was he fired from? Recently?

Hard pass. Make him get a part time job while he builds the field of dreams

Anonymous wrote:Ask him to develop a business plan before spending any more money.

This. And you should know exactly how much he has spent to date.

thanks helpful

Look in your state. Or have him. VA and MD have free help for entrepreneurs. He can find someone to critique his business plan or point him to guidance on what is in one.

I sympathize, OP. My husband is also on the spectrum with ADHD, but has enough head on his shoulders to know what he realistically can and cannot do. You need to sit him down and tell him his project, statistically, has a very small chance of becoming financially successful; that he needs to be very careful about how much he throws at this; and that there is no way you are endangering your retirement or your children's college funds. A business plan would be a great first step.

Finances are a hill to die on. At some point he'll accuse you of sabotaging his dreams, etc. Stand firm.

Ask him to develop a business plan before spending any more money.

My husband is building a technology oriented project (not his career field.) He thinks it will eventually get us tons of money. I have serious doubts since he has no connections to this industry and really few connections in general. He's unemployed. He's autistic/adhd and has gotten fired from all his jobs. I just got his credit card bill which has 1400 in purchases for this project in one month, after many months and who knows how much money. Clearly we need an agreed upon budget. What would be reasonable? he thinks it is going to generate income and I do not.