Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 23:07     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wish my BF were older.

I’m 39 with kids, he’s 30 no kids. He’s literally the perfect man and exactly what I have wanted my entire life. I’ve never met anybody like him.

But, I refuse to let him give up his life to be with me. I know he has ambitions that require him to move, and he wanted his own kids. He says he’s okay with giving that up but I won’t let him. Not at age 30. I know he would end up regretting it in 10 years.

So I keep pushing him to apply for jobs I know he wants that are out of state, knowing he’s going to end up moving away someday. Which sucks. I’ll miss him terribly.


Tell me you’re a commitment commitmentphobe without telling me…


I’m not a commitmentphobe, but I do think 30 is WAY too young to give up career and family aspirations for someone, especially someone who already has kids. 40, sure, you have enough lived experience to know what you’re getting into. But 30 is still so young and I don’t want him missing out on important aspects of life.


Really? At 30 I was pretty clear about what I wanted and didn’t want.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 11:44     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wish my BF were older.

I’m 39 with kids, he’s 30 no kids. He’s literally the perfect man and exactly what I have wanted my entire life. I’ve never met anybody like him.

But, I refuse to let him give up his life to be with me. I know he has ambitions that require him to move, and he wanted his own kids. He says he’s okay with giving that up but I won’t let him. Not at age 30. I know he would end up regretting it in 10 years.

So I keep pushing him to apply for jobs I know he wants that are out of state, knowing he’s going to end up moving away someday. Which sucks. I’ll miss him terribly.

I know a couple kind of in your situation. They got married and had kids and are still together 20 years later. Not that I think having more kids with the new guy would be great for your kids. My friend’s older DD is pretty messed up because of her replacement family, but the parents seem happy.


PP. I could give it a shot if I could have a kid with him, but I know 100% I do not want anymore kids.

So I’m just trying to enjoy it for what it is. I figure I get a couple good years with him.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 10:51     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
I wouldn't have had cancer and had to stop systemic HRT.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 10:50     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wish my BF were older.

I’m 39 with kids, he’s 30 no kids. He’s literally the perfect man and exactly what I have wanted my entire life. I’ve never met anybody like him.

But, I refuse to let him give up his life to be with me. I know he has ambitions that require him to move, and he wanted his own kids. He says he’s okay with giving that up but I won’t let him. Not at age 30. I know he would end up regretting it in 10 years.

So I keep pushing him to apply for jobs I know he wants that are out of state, knowing he’s going to end up moving away someday. Which sucks. I’ll miss him terribly.


Tell me you’re a commitment commitmentphobe without telling me…


I’m not a commitmentphobe, but I do think 30 is WAY too young to give up career and family aspirations for someone, especially someone who already has kids. 40, sure, you have enough lived experience to know what you’re getting into. But 30 is still so young and I don’t want him missing out on important aspects of life.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 10:41     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wish DH was a little rougher/more adventurous in bed. We've reached a good place where we are both comfortable and satisfied, but if there was one thing I could change, it would be that.


Same.


+2. I’d love a rougher guy in the bedroom. My dh is such a good guy that if he’s accidentally too rough he asks if I’m okay. Kills the mood.

My ex also was such a jerk but it was hot in the bedroom. There’s a reason all the erotica books have alpha males. No one wants a beta in the bedroom.

Same same.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 10:39     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
Anonymous wrote:I wish my BF were older.

I’m 39 with kids, he’s 30 no kids. He’s literally the perfect man and exactly what I have wanted my entire life. I’ve never met anybody like him.

But, I refuse to let him give up his life to be with me. I know he has ambitions that require him to move, and he wanted his own kids. He says he’s okay with giving that up but I won’t let him. Not at age 30. I know he would end up regretting it in 10 years.

So I keep pushing him to apply for jobs I know he wants that are out of state, knowing he’s going to end up moving away someday. Which sucks. I’ll miss him terribly.

I know a couple kind of in your situation. They got married and had kids and are still together 20 years later. Not that I think having more kids with the new guy would be great for your kids. My friend’s older DD is pretty messed up because of her replacement family, but the parents seem happy.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 10:38     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wish DH was a little rougher/more adventurous in bed. We've reached a good place where we are both comfortable and satisfied, but if there was one thing I could change, it would be that.


Same.


+2. I’d love a rougher guy in the bedroom. My dh is such a good guy that if he’s accidentally too rough he asks if I’m okay. Kills the mood.

My ex also was such a jerk but it was hot in the bedroom. There’s a reason all the erotica books have alpha males. No one wants a beta in the bedroom.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 10:34     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
Anonymous wrote:I wish my BF were older.

I’m 39 with kids, he’s 30 no kids. He’s literally the perfect man and exactly what I have wanted my entire life. I’ve never met anybody like him.

But, I refuse to let him give up his life to be with me. I know he has ambitions that require him to move, and he wanted his own kids. He says he’s okay with giving that up but I won’t let him. Not at age 30. I know he would end up regretting it in 10 years.

So I keep pushing him to apply for jobs I know he wants that are out of state, knowing he’s going to end up moving away someday. Which sucks. I’ll miss him terribly.


Tell me you’re a commitment commitmentphobe without telling me…
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 10:21     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
I wish my BF were older.

I’m 39 with kids, he’s 30 no kids. He’s literally the perfect man and exactly what I have wanted my entire life. I’ve never met anybody like him.

But, I refuse to let him give up his life to be with me. I know he has ambitions that require him to move, and he wanted his own kids. He says he’s okay with giving that up but I won’t let him. Not at age 30. I know he would end up regretting it in 10 years.

So I keep pushing him to apply for jobs I know he wants that are out of state, knowing he’s going to end up moving away someday. Which sucks. I’ll miss him terribly.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 10:21     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
Anonymous wrote:Wish DH was a little rougher/more adventurous in bed. We've reached a good place where we are both comfortable and satisfied, but if there was one thing I could change, it would be that.


Same.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 10:09     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
Anonymous wrote:Wish DH was a little rougher/more adventurous in bed. We've reached a good place where we are both comfortable and satisfied, but if there was one thing I could change, it would be that.


Same with my BF. He’s religious and struggles with sex already, so rougher stuff is off the table for now. I think some of the stuff I want would completely freak him out.

But….*sigh*. The guy I dated before him was a terrible boyfriend, but rocked my world in the bedroom. I’d usually O 8-10 times.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 09:45     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wish DH was a little rougher/more adventurous in bed. We've reached a good place where we are both comfortable and satisfied, but if there was one thing I could change, it would be that.


Tell him.


Oh we talked about it very early in our relationship. There are things I like that he's not comfortable with and I would never ask him to do something he's not comfortable with. And he does things he hasn't done before but that he learned he likes. We've been together 16 years and have a great sex life and are both satisfied. But in the "if you could change one thing" world, it would be that.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 09:39     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
Anonymous wrote:Wish DH was a little rougher/more adventurous in bed. We've reached a good place where we are both comfortable and satisfied, but if there was one thing I could change, it would be that.


Tell him.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 09:37     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
Wish DH was a little rougher/more adventurous in bed. We've reached a good place where we are both comfortable and satisfied, but if there was one thing I could change, it would be that.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2025 09:22     Subject: What would you change about your love life?
If you could.